Circe was still sitting in her blue Ball gown, curled up in a chair in her conservatory, when the dawn light crept through the clear glass. She hadn't slept all night, her head too full of unanswered questions and the ghost of a kiss on her lips. She'd cried off all of her makeup and her face and chest were streaked with black mascara. She watched as many of the plants around her opened up their bright faces and turned to the sun whilst she loathed its presence.
I have tried… I have tried so hard. Maybe he just thinks I'm just not worth the effort. I'm just some silly little nobody of no consequence who will never be his equal.
She rose up from the chair and undid it at its back. It fell off her shoulders and she hurried to her room, letting the dress slip to the floor in a heap. She washed her face and dressed in her normal clothes, deciding to take a walk around Hogwarts.
For the last time, before I give Dumbledore my notice.
She'd made the decision to leave Hogwarts; the thought of staying around or even remotely near Severus after last night filled her with unbearable pain. She didn't want to be one of those sad girls who spends their life pining away over a man who isn't interested in them or just looks straight through them. She couldn't be the Sonya of 'War and Peace'. She couldn't release Severus from her affections whilst she cheerfully minded her own business in the background. There would be no one else whilst there was him. And she may eventually grow to live with that realisation, if she were not here.
He'll forget about me eventually. She thought as she strode out into a beautifully snowy winter wonderland. If he didn't want me as myself. Me pretending to be no one else. Then, I'll fade from his mind eventually. At least I was always myself. And I won't cheapen myself by being someone I'm not. I know when I've lost a war.
She did not attempt to hide her tears as she thought of Severus's apologetic mutters and frightened eyes last night.
Why was he sorry? Sorry I wasn't what he wanted? Sorry he isn't what I want? Because you are, Severus. You are everything I want. And you could have all of me if you wanted. But do you want it?
Circe wandered out towards the highland hills, wondering how far she could walk until she just collapsed with exhaustion. She was already quite a fair distance from Hogwarts, and as she crested a hill she glanced back, judging she must have gone at least a mile already. She felt as if her body was travelling at a frightening speed through space and time and her poor head was struggling to keep up. She was a jet plane on autopilot mode. Filled with a compulsion. A compulsion just to keep walking because what else was there?
Stop it, stop thinking like that. He's just a man. A stupid, lonely, broken, sarcastic, brilliant, brave, stubborn man.
She felt the bubble of a sob rise up in her chest and she sat down in the snow and cried as she looked back at the castle. There was no one around to see her and no one around to hear her cries either. Glad for the moment to just weep alone, and also desperate for someone to come to her and give her comfort.
-----
Severus sat at the end of his bed, in almost a catatonic state of utter grief. He too had not slept for the entirety of the night, but unlike Circe he had no way of telling when the sickly light of dawn came. His hands were still shaking. His lips still burned.
You fool. Why did you leave her there? Like that? After everything she's come to mean to you. After all the mistakes you've made already.
The darkness of his rooms seemed thick and heavy. Oppressive around him. Smothering any cries for help he may utter. Nobody able to hear him. And this was the life to which he had condemned himself. He craved noise, anything to bring an end to the silence that threatened to envelop him.
"Because, mother…" he said unprompted and rather suddenly to the empty air. "I left her because I could not condemn her to this life too. Hiding, misery, fretting. The Dark Lord's domain of desolation, it destroys all light and life. I've lived too long in it, but she can be saved.. I could not subjugate her to that. "
He glanced up through his hair and almost began weeping anew when he saw Eileen Prince's face in its frame.
What would become of her if the Dark Lord does return? If he is out there, convalescing, reforming somewhere. What would become of her because of her simple association with me already? He hung his head low again, feeling utterly wretched.
"I love her, mother. I would keep her safe from harm above all others." he wept. He wished now, more than ever, that his mother was still here so he could ask her what to do in his hour of need. He missed her dearly, and his heart ached with remembering the way she'd stroke his hair when he cried or the simple but firm tone her voice took on when she was attempting to tell him off. "I couldn't even keep you safe from my brute of a father." he uttered through violent shakes of sobs.
Eileen's eyes said nothing now. But he imagined what she might say back to him had she been alive and sitting opposite him. The way they'd often talk in his bedroom at Spinner's End, she sat on his blankets at the end of his bed and he leaning against the bare wall, propped up with a single pillow. Trying to put the world to right between them.
"I love her because, well… she's stubborn, headstrong, argumentative, fiercely intelligent, she lets me get away with nothing, she's wonderful, beautiful, possesses a marvellous capacity for kindness, and she makes me feel like I am not so utterly and painfully alone."
He stood up and began pacing his room.
"Well, if she were to leave tomorrow…" he said, again to the unresponsive photograph. "I would become a shadow again. She would take all music, and fire and … magic... with her. Bereft of all life and warmth. Crying out for her with every fibre of my being. I would carry on in body, but in spirit I would be dead."
A world without her. The thought made him shiver.
But just for a moment...Eileen Prince asked him. Imagine a world with her, son.
"A world with her… would make me happy."
Then you would be a fool to let that go, my boy.
-----
By the late morning, Circe was reluctantly allowing her feet to lead her back to the castle. Her initial sadness was now morphing into anger.
He cannot treat people like this, he needs to know that I am not a plaything to mess about with when the mood takes him. I'm not made of stone. No matter how much I wish I was now.
Circe thought of storming into Severus's domain, his protective little cave where he hid himself from the outside world, shutting himself away from his consequences. She thought of all of those stolen moments and heated kisses with him. The way her tongue danced with his in the rain, the feel of his hand around her neck in the storage cupboard, his chest pressed against her back and his breath setting her skin on edge as they'd made the mandrake draft. Were they all just seized upon opportunities for him to get some easy action? A quick thrill? Did he ache for her nearly as intently as she did for him?
Was I just somebody ready and available and there? Circe thought bitterly.
It hurt to think of Severus in that way, and a part of her knew it wasn't true and she was just upset, but it felt easier to be angry with him. Anger felt better than sadness did. She wanted to shout. Scream at him. Tell him how hurt and used she felt.
He hasn't used you, stop seeing villains where there are none. She chided herself. But he has destroyed me, in the most beautiful way possible. He's utterly taken me apart. And now I have to start the long slog to endeavour to put myself back together.
She didn't want to cry again, but she felt her face becoming moistened with tears again. As she passed through the clock tower courtyard, she cast a glance at the time, and sighed. If she were to be gone and home for Christmas, she'd have to leave soon.
Oh God, what am I going to tell Dad and Jane? They're not expecting me. And I don't think I could bear to relay everything to him. Would he understand? Fuck, do I even understand?
Circe sniffed and wiped her nose with a sleeve. She hid behind a pillar as a group of Ravenclaw girls and their Durmstrang sweethearts passed by. Hearing their collection of elated giggles and happy conversation was a cruel little jab at Circe's heart. As the group wandered off for a walk, arms linked cordially together, Circe marveled at how easy love came to the young, how naive and unspoilt and fearless they were with their hearts.
I suppose I better tell him I'm going, and he probably won't see me again. She thought grimly.
------
"Alright so if the Dark Lord does return and Karkaroff is right and Circe is put into danger like Lily was. What then? What do I do?" Severus continued, still mentally working through his fears and barriers, as Elieen's photograph continued to listen.
His feet were aching with the amount of pacing he'd done. He'd worked his way through every possible future and every possible scenario with his mother's memory talking him through it. But ultimately it came to this: if Circe was put in danger because of he, then what? It was a thought he couldn't quite see through, a thought that made his stomach drop: if the Dark Lord rose again, and he forced back into the role of spy, then what would he do?
You remember who you are. Who I raised you to be.
"What? A turncoat? A two faced Janus? I'm no less vile than most of those wizards and witches still rotting in Azkaban. I'm no different." Severus muttered miserably. "Is that the man she wants?"
You are different to them, Severus, because of your capacity to love. Do not build walls around your heart because of them. They whisper a name of servitude into the night. You have the power to make the name you whisper one of love. They are motivated by fear, let yourself be motivated by love, Severus.
Severus paused as his mind went quiet. Suddenly the light seemed to shine through the clouds and his head cleared. He cast a look at his mother's photograph and muttered quietly to himself. "I'm just talking to myself aren't I." he smiled sadly and walked over to his desk. He reached out a tentative hand and stroked the frame lovingly. "Everything you've said is what I myself think."
Absolutely.
"Oh God, I need to find her."
Severus burst out of his room and his door banged against the walls of the dungeon. Yet he froze immediately in place as he spied , from down the corridor, Circe looking tired and red-eyed.
"You!…. I need to just say one last thing before I go!" she spluttered, marching towards him with indignant tears of rage already in her eyes.
"I was coming to find you…" he breathed, panic rising in his throat.
"I'm leaving, Severus. I can't stay here… I...I can't just pretend that nothing ever happened and it all meant nothing to me..." her resolve fell, the tears falling down her face.
Circe was embarrassed at herself that he had this much of an effect on her emotions. She wiped her cheeks looking away. He looked paler than normal, eyes wide like a panicked deer.
"Circe, you… you can't leave. I beseech you, I ask you to-"
"I didn't ask you to dance, I didn't ask you to come to my show… I'm not a toy that you can pick up and drop whenever you feel like it, Severus-"
"Please, just listen to me!" he said, rushed, stopping her dead in her tracks. Silence followed for a few seconds as he stared into her arresting green eyes. "I- I'm not good at this… I don't know what...how to say it…"
Circe was a little shocked. This isn't how she'd pictured their last conversation going. It had all rather been turned on its head by the look in Severus's eyes. She'd gone down to the dungeons with an intention of saying goodbye, and in a few tense seconds that had all changed.
"Try, Severus." She said in desperation. "You need to find a way to say it. Or… I'm done with whatever this was."
The moment was here. He took a deep breath, staring down at his pale hands. She followed his gaze down and saw the trembles in his fingers.
Is he scared? She thought to herself. The great fearsome Potions Master that made the first years cry…Scared? Of me?
He looked back into her face and she caught the full blast of his black eyes. For a moment her anger melted away and there was nothing but him and her.
He inhaled shakily, the obvious struggle written across his face, staring at his shoes. No one was going to say this for him. He had to forge this arrow to the heart himself. And then finally he spoke…
"I want you…. And I want you to want me too. I have run from this for too long. Perhaps because I am scared- terrified- of what you make me feel or what you could possibly see in someone as worthless as me…"
She stood there silent. Breathless.
"...I have lashed out, pushed you away, behaved like an insufferable, spiteful fool. And I am so, so sorry….Because you make me feel things and think things that I believed I would never feel again. That makes me weak, vulnerable. Because losing you like I lost Lily would... " His voice trailed off, thick with emotion. He took a minute to compose himself and then continued… "I have nothing to offer you but a broken, faded man…"
Finally he looked up into Circe's face, the tears freely falling down her face now. "...But if you want me, you can have whatever's left of me."
There was nothing else in her head other than the thought to kiss him.
Almost without thinking her lips were on his, arms around his neck. Severus half jumped back with the initial shock, his back hitting the door frame to his bed chambers. As she refused to draw away from him, he melted into her too, finally relinquishing and kissing her back. She felt a small sob from his chest as his kiss became more urgent, like a great release had escaped from him. His hands went into her hair and to the small of her back, pressing her close against his body. For a few moments they shared the fervent bliss of each other, all the while getting more desperate and longing. Both of their tears merging together on each other's cheeks. Severus reached behind him and clumsily unlocked the door to his room, letting the two of them fall inside, and shutting the rest of the world out.
There was no halt for breath inside the room. Severus lifted her up into his arms as her legs wrapped around his waist. They barely had a thought as to where this was going. It just happened, like the natural flow of a river. He carried her over to his bed, hands cupped under her, and lay her flat on the mattress. She slid her fingers under his black doublet, meticulously unbuttoning each fastening. Severus's hands worked independent of him, already having torn her blouse apart revealing her white skin beneath and her round breasts still in her underwear. His hips were pressed against hers and she could feel his hardness against her groin. She ached for him. He pulled apart from her for a moment, a coy smile on his face.
"Having trouble?" He breathed. She was still fumbling away at his buttons.
"Just a little." She laughed "You do have rather a lot of these…"
Without a word he grabbed his wand from the bedside table and gave it a small wave. The buttons came apart seamlessly, all the way down to his navel.
"I shall leave the last one up to you." He said quietly, setting every nerve of her body on edge with his quiet purr.
As her finger hooked under the last tantalizing button on his jacket, their lips met once again. The rest of their clothes fell away from them as the hungryness picked up pace once more. A small gasp of delight escaped from her mouth as Severus's hand slipped underneath her bra, followed quickly by his mouth at her nipple. Her sounds of delight seemed to heighten his arousal too as she felt a throb between her legs from him.
Almost reading her thoughts of her wanting of him, he unfastened himself and slid inside her for the first time. He watched her face form into the 'o' of pleasure as she received him inside her. Once again he lost himself in her as his urge to thrust took over. Each stroke, achingly slow, built up their mutual pleasure, until each of them was completely lost in the rhythm. Her fingers dug into his back as she reached her climax, whispering his name into his ear, her sex tightening around him. That was enough to send him over the edge too. He spilt himself into her, his forehead pressed against her. It was all over rather quickly.
For a second all there was was their ragged breaths as they both basked in the afterglow. Severus cupped her face in his hand, giving her one last kiss before sliding off next to her. For a long time they both stared at the bed canopy above them not daring to spoil the moment with speech. Slowly, she lay her head on his chest, resting her arm on his stomach. To her surprise he too enclosed his arm around her shoulder, taking her hand on his stomach in his. His breath eventually slowed and steadied and the two just lay there in each others arms for what could have been an eternity. Severus became so still that she thought he must have fallen asleep. Until he suddenly spoke...
"I love you." He said finally. "If I didn't make that clear before we…"
"I love you too." Her voice was firm and unwavering.
He turned his head to her until their noses touched. His black eyes swam with emotion. For a moment he seemed lost in her as a small sad smile crossed his face.
"I'm sorry…" he hoarsely whispered.
"For what?"
"Everything...everything…. For the absolute imbecile I have been… Just know that I am yours for as long as you want me, Circe."
"And you are mine. For today, tomorrow, and as far into the future that I can see. I am yours and you are mine."
-----
They must have fallen asleep holding each other. Many hours later Circe woke up in Severus's bed. She did a double take at that thought.
I woke up in Severus's bed.
It was difficult for her to tell how many hours had passed in the dungeons of the castle but perhaps it felt like the early evening?
Severus was not there. She felt an ache in her chest as she realised that. Circe sat up in the bed and looked around the room. It was exactly the type of bachelor's pad she pictured Severus would have. Heavy oak furniture with the signature Slytherin green upholstery was dotted about the room. A small wooden desk sat by his door, littered with parchments, bottles, symbols of arcana, and a small black and white photograph of an older woman. It was a complete mess, not what she expected from a man so calm and collected as Snape. Had he lifted her up onto it on their way over to the bed? She couldn't remember, but the memory made her blush. She smiled to herself.
A memory. Not a dream. It happened. It really happened.
Opposite the bed sat a tall wardrobe with an old stained mirror on the door.
Where he keeps his black robes and his black cloak and his black shoes and his black doublet with too many freaking buttons! She thought to herself.
Circe glimpsed herself in its murky reflection, sitting up in his bed. Soft candlelight played off its surface and for a moment she lingered on the thought of waking up to this reflection every day.
There were books everywhere. She counted at least three bookshelves, each shelf chocked full to the point that some sagged in the middle from the weight of the tomes. Perched on the end of some shelves were a variety of trinkets and prizes. Obsidian crystal, good for absorbing negative energy. Bunches of dried herbs.
A shrunken head?!
In the corner of the room there was an inviting, large armchair that looked worn with use. She could imagine Severus spending many a brooding night in it.
She heard running water…
Another door hidden behind a bookshelf showed her the source of the sound: a bathroom. She picked up one of Severus's black numbers and wrapped it hastily around herself, hurrying to the door. She peered around the door into the biggest bathroom she had ever seen. Circe had never seen the prefect's bathroom, but this was what she imagined it to be like. It was almost bigger than Snape's bedroom! Gorgeous light streamed in from floor-to-ceiling stained glass windows. An ornate toilet and sink were in one corner, but covering most of the floor space was a huge pool. A gargoyle statue sat in front of the colored glass, spewing warm water and bubbles from his mouth into the pool beneath, and with his back to her, reclining as the water lapped up to his chest, was Severus.
He turned to face her as she gasped at the space. "Did I wake you?"
"Severus this is incredible." She breathed, ignoring his question. "Gosh this puts the freestanding bath Minerva and I share to shame."
"Dumbledore owed me. I demanded this room when I took the Potions Master position here. There was no way I was going to bunk with Fillius."
Circe laughed. A slight smile seemed to cross Severus' face too.
"Would you care to join me..?" He asked coquettishly.
She didn't answer, simply let the black garnement concealing her body drop to the floor. He watched every move as she walked over to the edge of the pool and lowered herself in. Snape's hand moved through the water grabbing Circe's wrist and pulling her playfully into his lap. The water splashed as she nestled her back against his chest and let his arms fold around her again. Her head leaned back and she let the warmth of the water and his body relax her muscles.
"We have a lot to discuss." He started.
"We do."
"A lot of time to make up…"
"Yes."
There was a pause for a moment, then Severus continued, "It's funny, I have so much I want to say-...to tell you...but I can't think…"
"Why don't you start with what you're thinking right now?"
He paused again. "Well, I'm rather embarrassed... It was all over rather quickly. From my part, I mean..."
Circe spluttered and he felt her laughing in his embrace. "Well… it's to be expected after the rather long preamble of us actually… you know, getting round to it. If you were as pent up as I was."
Severus blushed and nodded silently. "It still all feels rather like a dream to me. Well no, not a dream… a poem or one of those great epics of mythology. I feel rather like I've abducted you and brought you down to my underground realm. Some hideous pre-Christian deity who steals a young maiden from the glorious, bucolic summer fields of the world above."
"You the Hades and me the Persephone?"
"And I don't even have a pomegranate for you." he said dryly.
"Ahh, but have you ever considered that Persephone wanted the fruits herself too. It's a mistranslation, the word 'abducted' in Hesiod's original hymn. Persephone went willingly: The lady loved him and the kingdom they shared."
"No regrets then?" Severus asked, a momentary flash of panic skimming over his eyes.
"None. I wanted the pomegranate, I wanted the underworld, I wanted you."
Severus gazed at her with an intensity that made her heart cry. He kissed her. Deeply. Again and again. Each time their lips met his kiss was embossed with his long-repressed longing for her. He drew apart from her, just to reaffirm this was all real: that she was still there, in his arms, as naked as the open sky, completely his as he was hers.
"Well, if we're sticking with the rather tasteless Hades and Persephone metaphor, we have a whole winter to… try again, my love." he added with a wicked grin as his hands roamed over her wet skin.
Circe closed her eyes, revelling in the intimacy of his touch. "Ohh. You know… I don't think I'll ever tire of hearing that from your lips, Severus."
"What?"
"My love." she breathed, touching her nose to his.
A shiver of delight passed through him.
"I meant it. Did you?" he asked tentatively.
"I did."
"And you'll stay? You'll stay here with me?" he asked again as his eyes glinted with a lightning fast flash of anxious yearning.
He remembered her hasty words of leaving Hogwarts before his stumbling confession and his guts twisted when he thought of Circe's possible absence from his life after everything that had transposed between them.
"Of course I'm bloody staying, you silly git." she said, almost a whisper.
She could tell he wanted to say something. So she waited patiently and watched the light of the coloured glass play off the water.
"Have you been in love before…?" he asked eventually.
She paused, before answering in a small voice, "Yes." She wanted to be honest. "Does that bother you?"
Severus breathed in deeply before answering "Perhaps it would have before. Now? No. you had a life before Hogwarts. Before me. Do you want to tell me about them?"
"Well, you already know about Odette. She was the first person I told I loved. That was about thirty minutes before Maxime walked in on her and I getting very closely acquainted."
Severus groaned, gripping her closer to him. "Oh yes, that little delicious nugget you dropped nonchalantly at the feast."
"Did it surprise you?" she giggled.
"Yes. and I very rarely ever admit to being surprised."
"Oh, then I shall consider myself lucky." Circe said sardonically.
"And were there others?"
"They were muggle boys. One Welsh lad that I met after University in the bright warm summer. We dated for three years, dumped me a week before I was due to quit my job and move in."
"Bastard."
"Mmmm. The other was a sweet boy from Bath. I adored him, felt like he was the love of my life. But he'd always had mental health issues. I think I helped him for a time and he believed he was okay, he stopped taking his medication, and… it came back with a vengeance and, well.. Let's just say the last I heard from him he was in a hospital in Bristol."
"I'm sorry."
She didn't answer for a while. Severus watched her features carefully. There was sadness in her face, but also resolution. They were not open wounds like, perhaps, the one she still bore for her mother, but they were scarred over. Healed from.
She finally turned to face him, bearing the question she'd always known she'd ask:
"And you?" With Lily…?"
For the first time in the conversation Circe felt a reluctance from Severus.
"Yes."
"You don't have to say-"
"No, I want to." He said resolutely. "I grew up loving her. I didn't just wake up one day in love, it was always there….And watching her fall for James Potter, one of my tormentors, was...crushing."
"That's why you joined Him…" Circe said, lifting Severus' left wrist out of the water, exposing his Dark Mark.
It was the first time she'd seen it for herself, he was always so careful to keep it hidden. His muscles tensed as she passed an exploratory finger over it. Severus tried to stop his mind from wandering to thoughts of "was it darker?" or "was it ever so faintly burning?". This moment was for he and Circe, no one else. To hell with anyone or anything that might come and spoil it all later. For now, he just wanted to relish this moment with her. It was natural of course that she had questions but it had all circled back to Voldemort and dark topics so quickly. Still, there was no point keeping things from her. That ship had sailed. And he resolved never to hide anything from her again.
"Yes.. But it's also Lily that brought me back…. When Dumbledore told me she and her son were being hunted by Voldemort, when he learnt of the Prophecy, I came back to the Order. I swore an unbreakable vow with Dumbledore that I would protect Harry, with my life if needed." He paused for a moment. "But it wasn't enough to save her... I thought she'd be safe. Dumbledore told me they'd all be safe…"
Understanding washed over Circe like a tsunami. The distance, the brooding, the venom. Suddenly it all fell into place. He idolised Lily, she made him, created him. And then there was just little old her...
"Don't." Snape said suddenly. "Don't think that."
"What?"
"You're comparing yourself to a dead woman. There has been her, and then there was you. No one else have I loved. And I spent twelve years mourning Lily, thinking that I'd rather have died with her, when the best way I could ever have honoured her memory was to live. And you did that for me. You dragged me kicking and screaming back into the land of the living. Your life is infectious and it bled into me through your small little kindnesses… Even when I was totally undeserving of it, you were kind to me. You surprised me with your gentleness but also your fire. God, sometimes I'd find myself sitting in here replaying every single moment I'd had with you in a day in my head just...lingering after every word and action... "
"You did not.." Circe smiled slightly, the tension lifting.
"You don't even want to know what seeing you in that muddy Quidditch kit did to me…" He nuzzled into her neck and softly bit her flesh.
She squealed in delight.
"Severus!"
"Yes, that moment's been replayed quite a few times…"
"Oh you dirty old man!" She teased. His hands found their way up to her breasts.
"Oh don't go all coy with me. You don't think I haven't clocked that that song you played in the Hacienda was about me?!" He spun her around to face him, planting a hungry kiss on her mouth. "Bit of an on-the-nose metaphor to compare me to an angel, isn't it?" He teased.
"Everyone's a critic…" she sighed as she positioned herself on top of him, feeling his hardening member again. Her hand disappeared beneath the water, taking him into her palm, stroking him gently.
He moaned under her touch.
"I love you." He breathed.
"I love you." She returned, finally lowering herself onto him.
She straddled him, grinding into him achingly slowly to begin. Making sure she felt every inch of him move inside her. Each movement of her hips sent shockwaves of pleasure deep into the pit of his stomach and all he could concentrate on was the feel of her soft wet skin and the taste of her on his mouth. Her movements became faster and both of their small moans of bliss became louder. She felt so good. Fucking mind blowing.
"Turn back around."
She did so, lowering herself back on to Severus's length. He reached around her, his hands this time diving below the water to find her sex. Gently, as he thrust up into her, he circled her clitoris with his fingers. This made her cry out, almost uncontrollably in bliss. Both of them now fervent and heavy: him thrusting up and her pushing her hips down onto him. His cock, his fingers, the warm water was all too much for her, and she orgasmed around him once again, her whole body shivering. He too could not hold back his climax as he totally gave up himself and came.
"How are you that good for someone who's never been with anyone…?" she asked.
He laughed.
"I said I'd never loved anyone else… I didn't say I'd never fucked anyone else.." He smiled wickedly.
-----
Notes:
I honestly feel like Frodo when he finally cast the ring into Mount Doom. It's done. It's here. We did it folks.