The gymnasium covered in pure white snow, looked like a blank canvas with nothing drawn on it.
The snow that fell last night covered the whole city in white and disappeared. Perhaps that was why the morning air felt unusually cold today. I let out a hollow laugh as I watched the white steam rising from my breath.
Although I had adapted to this place to some extent, thinking that Sarham, unlike snowy Merohim, would be in a warm atmosphere like spring. That thought made me burst into laughter involuntarily.
Thinking of the warm southern air and the colorful streets all made me want to go back home. It wasn't that I didn't like the white scenery here, but it felt like I was experiencing a never-ending winter, true to its name, the winter castle.
'Isn't a warm spring better than a cold winter, no matter what?'
Although the world sparkling in white light looked beautiful, it was a colorless world where no other colors exist. It had its own charm, but it seemed that the diverse hues of Sarham suited my eyes better. Of course, the desire to go back home wasn't solely due to that reason.
I sighed as I gazed at the distant Mount Pelios.
When I thought of someone looking down at this place from a mountain peak so high as to pierce the sky, a part of my heart felt uncomfortable.
'Is it because I'm Damian?' Somehow, my body didn't seem to fit well with this region called Merohim.
The main story hadn't even started yet, but it felt like incidents keep following me since I came here. The encounters with the Twilight Tower master and Richard alone would have sufficed to leave a lasting impact, but the gravity of those experiences, coupled with the meeting with Theia that was years ahead, was too heavy to simply let go.
Especially Theia. The meeting between her and Elena was sooner rather than later, and it should never have been this way.
Theia was the only one in the novel who taught something to Elena.
Just by teaching her the Language of Words, she played a role in elevating Elena to an entirely different existence from other archmages. But now, the situation had become truly ambiguous because of me.
It was true that Elena and Theia's bond was formed through a promise, but it was a separate issue whether she enlightened Elena or not. Well, since dragons were whimsical creatures, if I handle it well, it should work out somehow, but what I needed now was the assurance that it would definitely happen.
If I had to name someone who could be called the center of this world, whose name would I call?
Should I call out the name of the Emperor who rules the current continent? Or the transcendent beings beyond the scope of humans. Or perhaps the gods who exist in the celestial realm?
However, without hesitation, I would call out Elena's name, leaving behind numerous other candidates for such a question.
If this place was truly the world from the novel I knew, it was only natural for her, the protagonist of the novel, to become the center of the world. And naturally, events always revolve around the protagonist. Even though I had determined to twist the story.
Perhaps because of me, Elena might get entangled in events even greater than what I knew.
That was why it was crucial not to miss any given opportunities for her. But due to my choices, she was now in a crisis where one of those opportunities might disappear. So, naturally, I couldn't help but worry.
As I pondered over it, I began to entertain the thought that by being by Elena's side in the future, I might be negatively impacting her growth.
With thoughts clouding my mind, I looked up at the sky for a moment. Unlike my clouded mind, the sky was high and blue. I took a deep breath, forcing the cold air that felt like a frozen prayer into my lungs.
As the chilling cold penetrated deep into my lungs, my mind felt refreshed. I remembered the mindset with which I had lived since I possessed this body and smiled softly as I looked at the sword in my hand.
Elena once said something like this to me before.
'We are family…'
It was when not much time had passed since we first met, but she certainly said that to me.
At that time, Elena's words may have been simply to alleviate the guilt I felt, but they were not devoid of meaning. Back then, I had tried not to keep those words in my heart, but now they firmly motivated my life.
When I made up my mind to become Damian after possessing this body, I swore to my family that, unlike the Damian in the novel, I would bring them happiness. So, this was an extension of that vow.
'I'll take responsibility for what I have caused.'
Choosing to be by her side was my decision, and it was only natural for me to bear responsibility for the consequences of what had happened. After organizing my thoughts, I realized that the sword in my hand had a deep black aura resembling the night sky.
Aura was not simply a blade created by condensing magical power.
It was the embodiment of the enlightenment and spirit that the warrior had gained throughout their lifetime.
Even after possessing this body, the aura still didn't appear as light but as a black aura. Before possessing Damian, it had a beautiful golden color, but during the possession process, the contamination from Damian's existence seemed to have caused my aura to lose its previous color.
Aura was something that belongs to the soul, the essence of the mind. Well, it was not entirely unimaginable. Just yesterday, didn't I lose my sanity because of that damn madness? It must be related to that.
In any case, even though it did not regain its previous color, it was clear that something had changed in the aura that was simply black from last night. A strange sensation that had never been felt before the possession climbed up the sword and wrapped around the whole body.
I hold my posture and picture in my head the movements I had swung thousands of times before.
Even though it was a movement that I had repeated many times, now it all felt new, like learning it all over again.
As soon as I step out, the feeling of the snow being stepped on was clearly conveyed through my nerves, as if I was stepping on it with bare feet. At the same time, I drew my sword down along the line drawn in front of my eyes.
The completed motion matched perfectly with the picture I drew in my head, like a decalcomania. Feeling that unity that tingled through my whole body, I stepped out once again and moved my body. Like water flowing naturally, my body was riding a single current.
The flow created by moving the body did not break and continued to stretch forward. On the drawing paper called the gymnasium, where nothing was drawn, the traces of my steps and swinging my sword were engraved.
The rehearsal of the past was now completely over. But even so, it seemed that the body was still directing it to move like this. The sound of the heart beating, the contraction, and the relaxation of muscle fibers… All of the sensitive senses came together to form a single melody.
As I continued to swing my sword and proceeded step by step with the flow, I began to feel a strange feeling as if I was approaching something.
'If I go a little further, I think I can reach it. I think I can find the strength to do what I want.'
But for a while, my five senses began to enter a different realm than before.
The moment I became aware of the flow created by something immense that I hadn't felt before, it engulfed my body. The flow I was creating vanished without resisting and was absorbed, and the path I was walking on began to crumble and fall apart, losing its flow.
The state of 'no-self' was shattered.
When I regained consciousness, I found myself on the opposite side of where I first drew the sword.
As the pure white world came back into view, I felt a profound sense of emptiness.
It felt like I could reach it with my fingertips, but was it the limit? The moment I faced it, I instinctively knew. If I could grasp it, if I could take one more step forward, I could undoubtedly reach the realm known as the end of the warrior, the realm of the master.
"Wow… Ah… Hahaha…"
Amidst the emptiness, I let out laughter mixed with a sense of injustice.
'Now, I think I understood what transcendence means.'
It felt like being thrown into violent waves. It was only by crossing the seemingly impassable wall of that flow that one could truly stand in self-esteem and be completed.
But in my current state, I couldn't surpass that wall.
The feeling of being unable to overcome something, the feeling of facing an insurmountable barrier, was not a pleasant one.
Nevertheless, I did not feel discouraged.
Instead, as soon as a clear goal was set, a sense of direction emerged. In an instant, I suppressed the emotions that had been building up and regained a sense of rationality.
I immediately turned around and lowered my sword toward the ground.
The traces that had been drawn on the snow were all erased by the light sword swing. After a brief gust of wind, a figure stood in that spot.
With bleached white hair and multiple scars carved on the face, it was Wilhelm Hartmann, the commander of the Edelweiss Knights. He looked at me with a mournful gleam in his eyes.
"Sir Wilhelm. What brings you here? It seems you came out a little earlier than usual."
"Earlier? No, it's you who misunderstood the time. Herbert and Giliard couldn't come out due to some external circumstances."
'Ah, I see.'
In fact, my senses seemed slightly off, as if something was amiss. Perhaps they had become too sensitive, causing a slight disconnect in my mind. In any case, it was clear that I wasn't in a normal state. Even now, I could hear Wilhelm's faint breath, as if he were standing right next to me.
Even the sound of the sword being unsheathed by him reached my ears, as if it were happening right by my side.
I planted the sword into the ground and focused my mind on controlling my senses as I asked him.
"What are you doing?"
"I want a duel. Haven't you always sparred with those two boys? Since Your Lordship will be leaving Winter Castle soon, I wanted to have a chance to spar with you before you leave."
'Of all times, now?'
I felt like I was going to die.
Even holding the sword, my hand trembled, and I had a feeling that if I clashed with the sword even once, my hand would go numb.
'But why is this happening?'
Although I had a strong desire to lie down and rest immediately, I still stood there, holding the sword.
With trembling hands, I pulled the sword out of the ground again and spoke to him.
"Sure, let's have a duel."
As soon as I finished speaking, a fierce wind, like that of a wolf, rushed towards me.
***
As soon as I opened my eyes, I instinctively clenched my hand at the warmth I couldn't feel in my left hand, but contrary to my expectations, I couldn't hold his hand like before.
"He's gone…"
Despite having just woken up, my mind felt clean and clear as if washed in cold stream water. Therefore, I vividly remembered what had happened before going to bed last night. Even after several hours, it felt like his warm touch, which had cupped my head, was still lingering in me.
"Is he… still sleeping?"
Until I closed my eyes again, he didn't leave my side.
Because he held my hand without saying a word and gently stroked my head, I didn't have any nightmares even when I fell back asleep. It felt like there had never been a more comfortable place to sleep in my entire life. One thing was certain; my mood was undeniably ecstatic, as if soaring in the sky.
When I opened my eyes, I longed to see his face again.
But he had stayed up all night because of me, so he might be sound asleep in his bedroom by now. Even though he was trained to withstand several days without sleep, staying up all night wasn't a pleasant thing.
"If that's the case… maybe I…"
A sudden thought made my face grow warm.
If he could come into my bedroom, wouldn't it be okay for me to enter his room as well? Of course, yesterday's incident was inevitable, but now we were engaged. It wouldn't be so strange for me to enter his room, would it?
Unexpected events had occurred in the early morning, but now it was different. Surely, he would have fallen into a deep sleep, unlike during the early morning. There was no need to worry about him waking up.
Although I was already halfway through justifying it to myself, I couldn't stop my happy imagination. Until I heard the familiar voice echoing in my ear.
"Miss, what's so amusing that you're smiling like this?"
I turned my head towards the source of the voice, and there was Hailey, opening her eyes wide and giving me a wicked smile as she looked at me. Startled by her sudden appearance, I hurriedly covered my mouth, which had been smiling.
"H-Hailey? Why you walked in so suddenly?!"
"I've been standing here for a while. Miss, by the way, what were you doing alone with Lord Damian in your room for such a grand time? Even though you're engaged, you haven't even raised your wedding date…"
"Th-That's enough!!! Nothing happened! Absolutely nothing!!"
Unable to bear Hailey's words any longer, I shouted, my face turning red. How could I not imagine such a scene when I kept hearing Hailey's pointless ramblings? My face turned red as if it could burst at any moment, but Hailey responded with a sly smile, as if she already knew everything.
"Hehe, just kidding. Lord Damian has been petting your head until I arrived. But anyway, about Lord Damian…"
"Haileyyyyy!!!"
"Aaaaaaaaa-! Ah, I'm sorry!"
I quickly stood up in embarrassment and pinched Hailey's cheek. Hailey made a displeased sound as if her cheek was being stretched, but her smile remained on her face. After releasing my grip on Hailey's cheek, she approached me, massaging her reddened cheek, and spoke.
"It hurts… Miss…"
"Hailey, you're teasing me too much!"
"Well, if you say so, I have nothing more to say…"
However, Hailey's reaction was too amusing, and I couldn't help but think about pinching her cheek again. But before I could act on it, Hailey noticed and covered her cheek with her palm. Instead, she whispered to me, still covering her cheek with her hand.
"Miss, if you want to meet Lord Damian, you should go to the gymnasium instead of his room. After he left your room, he headed straight to the gymnasium."
"Ah, is th-that true… What are you talking about?! Hailey! When did I say I'm going to his room…"
Taken aback by Hailey's sudden words, I stumbled to respond and denied what she said. Did I ever utter such words about going to his room? No matter how much I thought about it, it seemed like I had never said such a thing… When I looked at Hailey with a questioning gaze, she just smiled and didn't say anything.
"Well, since you're going to meet him, you can't go with your hair like that, right? Let me tidy it up for you."
"Uh…uh…"
Hailey skillfully tidied up my disheveled hair in an instant.
I couldn't shake off the feeling that something was still playing in Hailey's mind, but for now, the important thing was to meet him. I quickly received a simple hair arrangement from Hailey and put on a light coat that was nearby before leaving the room.
Under normal circumstances, I would have been able to restrain myself a little, but strangely, it was impossible to control this feeling today. I felt like this pounding in my chest would calm down as soon as I faced him.
As I arrived near the practice field where he was known to train, I could hear the resounding sound of metal filling the space. The fierce energy conveyed through the sound urged my footsteps forward, making it more than just a simple sparring session.
As I approached the source of the sound, I could visibly see the mana in the air fluctuating in waves. At the center of those waves, an elderly knight and a young boy with a sword were confidently walking on the snowy field.
They vibrated the surrounding mana solely with their own skills, without using any spells.
Whenever their swords clashed, the mana naturally moved alongside them, accompanied by a clear sound. It was a spectacle that would astonish any other knight, causing them to involuntarily shake their heads. But what captivated my attention the most was the boy's movements as he faced Wilhelm.
His current appearance resembled that of a master, surprisingly similar to before my regression.
The aura and momentum he exuded indicated that he hadn't yet experienced transcendence, but regardless, his skills were approaching the tip of the sword as I remembered it, even faster than in my previous life.
'Beautiful.'
Although it may sound strange to describe a sword as such, his movements were so graceful and delicate that one couldn't help but find them beautiful. The way he effortlessly deflected Wilhelm's fierce sword strikes was a sight of wonder.
"Miss, if you keep running like that, I'll be exhausted!"
Unconsciously, I forgot the thought of calling out to him and became completely engrossed in their swordplay. If it weren't for Hailey's voice coming from behind, I might have continued to watch them until their duel ended, lost in fascination.
"Ouch… I'm out of breath… Miss, but why are you standing here…"
Hailey gasped for air, sounding tormented by the cold. She lowered her head, but then raised it again to look at me with a perplexed expression as I absentmindedly stared at the gymnasium. Yet, it seemed like she could hear the clanging sound too, as her gaze turned towards the gymnasium.
"No… What on earth is this…"
After a single glance at the training ground, Hailey's face twisted in astonishment. Only then did I regain my senses and remember who was clashing swords with Damian.
"Grandfather!"
Wilhelm Hartmann. He was none other than Hailey's grandfather and the leader of the Edelweiss White Falcon Knights.
The sound of clashing swords was drowned out by Hailey's loud scream that echoed throughout the gymnasium. I looked at Hailey with a smile on my face, taken aback by her surprised expression. It seemed that Hailey thought Wilhelm was attacking Damian.
It seemed like the duel would come to an end with this. I walked towards Wilhelm, wearing the same expression as Hailey.
"Damian."
I called out to him in a soft voice compared to Hailey's, and he immediately turned his head toward me. In response to his gaze, I smiled brightly, and he returned the gesture with a small smile before collapsing to the ground…?
'Huh?'
"Damian!!!"