School comes back up again. And again, the same boring stuff. I strut over to Cara in the morning.
"Hey!" I grin and wave.
"Hey, Aline!" She waves back.
"So, who knows about the... you know..." I say, trying to skirt around anything having to do with dating her.
"Um, only a few people. My friends, a few outside that, maybe some of your friend..." She claims.
"Well, that's nice, I guess." I say.
"But, um hey, let's go there to discuss." She says, pointing to a semi-empty hall intersecting the one we're in. I nod adamantly as she slams her locker shut and walks over to me. I'm such a creep. We walk into the hallway, and she starts.
"Why don't you want people to know?" She asks.
"Um, well, It's not." I stutter.
"I'm having a hard time understanding why. Do you not like me?" She says this, looking up at me with her glistening, pretty eyes.
"Um,no,,o it's not like that! I just don't want anyone to think that we're together because I cheated or whatever. I'm-dating you because I like you." I say, meaning every word.
"Really? "I thought you didn't want me, and that's why—because you plan to break up with me." She says this, whimpering. I nudge her on the back, trying to soothe her while almost crying myself.
"I'm sorry. I'll never be so mean again. Please." I start whimpering as well before I stop talking.
"Alright then." She says, abruptly yet gracefully, shuffling to her class. I wipe tears from my eyes. Man, I almost hurt her. I can't believe it—such a beautiful, pretty girl, and I'm not taking it an ounce seriously. I better step it up. Who am I—going from girl to girl, treating them worse than the last? I think as I shuffle to my class. First up, math. This was the worst class for me—no contest. However, today, those days could be considered paradise. I stepped into the room only to feel a disgusting and creepy aura dance around me, seeming to beckon my steps towards my desk. I walk to my desk and grunt angrily. In case you forgot, I sit next to Demi in math. My mind races angrily. Again, in case you forgot, I had a massive self-conflict over whether I liked Demi or not. I try my best not to say a word or open my mouth. However, I don't need to.
"Hey, Aline." She says.
"T-t-'sup." I scramble to say something before holding my face up high in an attempt to avoid the conversation. C'mon. After all this? You don't like Demi, but maybe? After hurting Akako and Cara, do you really decide that this is a good idea? Why does this happen to me? Why does no one else seem to be going through this? Why me? I would trade my soul for a bag of chips if I could get rid of this feeling afterward. I like Cara; I know I do. But what if this was like Akako? What if I'm forcing myself to like Cara? Oh god. Stop it. STOP IT!
There was most definitely my most panicked state in a while. My body turned into a charred crisp, my senses weakened, and my brain thinned the knowledge out. I am practically just a walking, talking piece of tree bark. However, I manage to make it through fifty percent of the day, all the way until lunch, where I sit with Sam. After that dreadful experience with Cara this morning, I assume that it would be great to tell one more person. Liem was already filled in about my relationship status. However, Sam was not.
"Yo! Sam!" I tell him, my voice creaking.
"Yeah?" He asks.
"I'm dating Cara." I explain. The conversation goes as well as I had assumed. Sam is totally chill with everything I later explain, and he doesn't peep a word out to anyone else. School feels like a blur afterwards. Everything races past me and my drunk-like state. Well, I've never been drunk, but I assume this is how it feels. We were all dazed and tired. I go home only to regain my full consciousness. It was almost eye-opening—the experience. I felt disconnected from the world, all sluggish from all the encounters early in the morning. I drape my sheets over my head and nap for the first time in maybe a year, and I somehow pull off an hour of sleep. After my heavy slumber, I do my daily tasks; I am still not completely awake. Afterwards, I eat dinner and sleep, constantly waking up throughout the dark night.
Somehow, after a terrible sleep, my body regains and retains energy, as well as my brain. I skip outside to my bus stop after packing my homework, lunch, and whatever else. I walked into school only to be greeted by another punch at my reputation. Rumor spread. Some are true, some are false, yet it doesn't matter. The rumor has spread once again.