You can't mask your heart's truths when a knowing glance finds them.
We never spoke about that night. She still yelled at me the same way whenever I messed up, and I'd get offended, calling her a neurotic psycho. But something definitely shifted that day. I found myself growing fond of Hajnal and quietly making a decision: from then on, I would become her "watchdog."
"No offense, but may I ask why you're so protective of her?" Ervin asked, his gaze shy. "Maybe..."
I couldn't help but laugh. The look in his eyes told me he thought I had some kind of thing for old furies. An inexplicable urge to strangle Ervin suddenly rose within me.
"No, I have no romantic feelings for my boss. In fact, she's a bit too quarrelsome for my taste. No, I just owe her," I explained.
Had this guy lost his mind? Me and Hajnal? She was acting like a fury, and she was human and much older than me. On a theoretical level, we'd kill each other before we'd ever even think about anything remotely romantic.
I'd done a lot for her—let her trample on my notoriously big pride countless times—but that didn't mean I was in love with her. I cared for her, but not in that way. She was like a stepmother I hadn't asked for but had come to love all the same.
"Oh," Ervin sighed, clearly relieved that he didn't have to fight me for the hag's affection.
"And what brings you to our little town?" I asked before he could say anything dumber.
"Work," he sighed, looking bored.
"Work?" I repeated, raising an eyebrow.
"Actually, I'm doing some research," he said, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he traced his finger around the rim of his empty glass.
"Oh, so I can call you Professor, then?" I grinned.
"Ervin will do," he laughed.
"Alright then, and may I ask what your research is about, Prof?" I teased.
"I'm experimenting with blood," he said, his eyes lighting up. "I'm testing substances that can either alleviate or even eliminate the thirst for blood."
"Really?" I raised an eyebrow and pulled a dark brown bottle from my pocket. "Does this look familiar?"
Surprised, he took the bottle from my hand. "This is my medicine! Where did you get it?"
"I'm also thirsty for blood," I said flatly. "A friend gave it to me."
"Really?" His eyes widened. "You're connected to the Blutkaiser family?"
"Yep," I nodded.
"I had no idea you knew the nobles," he remarked.
"Good luck, Prof," I said, standing up.
"You're leaving already?" he asked, surprised.
"Hajnal would beat me up if she caught me slacking off here instead of working," I smiled.
He laughed a few times. I turned back to my work, but my eyes caught a glimpse of Hajnal leaving her office, heading towards the vampire's desk. She disappeared from view as she climbed the stairs, and I allowed myself a moment to pout and shake my head.
Hajnal gracefully approached Ervin's table and, with effortless fluidity, settled herself onto his lap.
"Well, how did it go?" she asked with a hint of amusement in her voice.
"Pretty well, I think," he chuckled. "I survived, so you could call it a success."
She smiled warmly. "I told you it wouldn't be that bad."
"Actually, it was worse than I expected," Ervin remarked with a grimace. "There was a moment when I thought I'd lose control and bolt out of there. He has a suffocating presence when he wants to."
He sighed deeply, and Hajnal let out a dry giggle.
"That's just Shay for you," she added. "He likes to scare the hell out of people, but deep down, he wouldn't hurt a fly."
"I have my doubts about that," Ervin muttered. "But I hope you're right, sweetheart."
"At least you can be sure he likes you," she said with a smirk. "If he didn't, he wouldn't have let it go. He's an annoying kid."
Ervin paused for a moment, thinking.
"All in all, I was a bit surprised," he admitted thoughtfully. "From what you said, I expected him to grill me properly. But he only asked a few basic questions. Honestly, I think I ended up learning more about him during that conversation than he did about me."
"Oh, that's not true," replied Hajnal with a knowing smile. "He was mainly observing your natural micro-reactions and behaviour. That's probably why he asked what he did. He likely already knew the answers to those questions."
"Dangerous kid," the vampire growled, a trace of respect in his voice.
"Indeed," Hajnal agreed, her tone thoughtful.
I wasn't eavesdropping, really. The words simply filtered into my mind without me even meaning to hear them. It was as if Hajnal and my favourite vampire were standing right next to me, speaking directly to my thoughts.
My hearing had always been sharp, but something had shifted. I scanned the dimly lit pub, my senses now picking up every detail with unsettling clarity. It wasn't just the hearing that had changed—it was more like my focus had shifted. Up until now, I'd only heard the things I wanted to hear. But now, my mind was inundated with raw, unfiltered sounds, as if I were absorbing them like a sponge soaking up water. Worst of all, I couldn't turn this off.
I was looking for whisky so I turned away from the door. He took a seat without a sound and opened his mouth to speak when I turned and put the glass down, perhaps with a little more force than I had planned.
"How...?" he began, but the question never fully formed. Instead, he simply took a long gulp of the whiskey.
I couldn't tell him the scent of the daggers hidden beneath his coat was a dead giveaway. Not many monsters, aside from wolves, would have noticed it.
"I need intel." What can I say, Geri didn't tell me anything new.
"Hm."
"About the Behemoth's new boss," he added.
I looked at him, taken aback. He merely shrugged.
"The previous bosses were in contact with the Crosspherat," he said, "and they reached an agreement. They want to know how they can make things right with his successor."
"Really?" I raised an eyebrow, but seeing that he was quite serious, I laughed. He grumbled under his breath and signaled for another whisky.
"You can't buy Rada," I said firmly.
"Every man has his price," Geri replied, his voice laced with cynicism. "At least, that's what the judges say."
"Well, then his price is so high they won't be able to afford it," I shrugged, absently wiping down the counter.
"I thought Behemoth was all about the money," he mused.
"Most of them are," I corrected, "but Rada's not one of those men."
"Then what does he want?" Geri pressed.
I let out a slow breath. "He had a sister. The previous boss killed her. Rada infiltrated the organization, bided his time, rose through the ranks. He was the boss's right hand, the only one he trusted. What he wanted... was revenge."
"And now? What does he want with the organization?" Geri asked, his voice serious.
"Who knows?" I shrugged. "But things will change. I doubt Behemoth will be a group that pubs have to worry about much longer."
Geri hummed thoughtfully, finishing his drink in one swift gulp. The mood shifted, and the lightness faded as he grew somber.
"The Crosspherat knows that the monster I've been using as an informant is you," he said, his voice low, barely audible—but it hit me like a punch to the gut.
"Have they made a move?" I asked, struggling to keep my voice steady. "Have they demoted you, or are they watching you?"
He shook his head. "No, nothing like that. But I suspect I'll be sent on missions like your brother's from now on. It doesn't help that I'm under him."
I couldn't shake the thought that Geri wouldn't survive those missions with the same luck as Des.
"I—"
"It's not your fault," he interrupted sharply, cutting me off.
I met his black eyes, which seemed to devour the light, and I couldn't bring myself to say anything more. No, Geri didn't want my pity, nor did he want my apologies. To offer either would be the ultimate insult to his pride.
I finally broke the silence, my gaze narrowing. "I just wanted to say," I began, "if you hadn't cut me off, I'd have told you that you should die a hunter's death. And sooner rather than later. You irritate me."
He laughed—a deep, familiar sound—and I grinned back.
(...)
"I will enter your mind," Lordling declared, as casually as if he were discussing the weather.
"What?!"
"I won't repeat myself," he replied, his tone cold. "Try to push me out."
The next moment, he was rummaging through my memories, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't push him out.
"Kill him!" the hunter beside me shouted.
I turned my gaze to the vampire kneeling before me. He was sobbing, eyes wide and desperate.
"Please...! Please!"
He had killed humans—drained them dry—and yet, for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to think he deserved to die. No, it wasn't that simple. But I had no choice. If I didn't kill him, we'd both die—and I wanted to live.
I drilled my gaze into his, trying to convey the words I could never say aloud.
I'll make it quick. So fast, you won't feel a thing. I promise.
His eyes flickered. He understood. The spark of hope in them flickered out.
"Do it, hunter!" the last word was laced with hatred, with contempt.
Those were his last words. I chose then. I chose to be a hunter.
"Kill him!" the man ordered again. This time, I obeyed without hesitation.
He felt no pain. His head simply flew off, clean and swift. At least I could give him that mercy.
And then I was somewhere else. A dark room, cold and suffocating.
"I can still... move," I gasped, trying to force myself to my feet, but another brutal kick sent me crashing back to the floor.
I tasted blood in my mouth. I fought back tears, but they came anyway. Everything was lost.
The masked man spat to the side and moved, his presence like a weight pressing down on my chest.
Geri stepped up beside him.
"He may live."
For a moment, I thought Geri wouldn't answer, but then he spoke.
"Are you done?"
The masked man scoffed. "Don't misunderstand. The odds are just better than zero."
My next encounter with the masked man ended the same way. Geri tried to pull me to my feet, but I sank my teeth into his hand.
"Don't you dare touch me!"
If looks could kill, the young hunter would have dropped dead on the spot.
Over time, I came to realize something: when you're treated like a monster by everyone around you, you start to act like one. Slowly. Unstoppably. You become the monster they want you to be.
I was pulled into another memory, drowning in pain. Geri lifted me again, and I wanted to die from the shame of it, but my damn self-healing wouldn't even let me die.
"If you ever tell anyone, I'll kill you," I snarled through gritted teeth.
The boy smiled.
"You're very much like your brother," he said, as if it were some sort of compliment.
The next memory flashed before me: Geri patching me up for the thousandth time. I clenched my fists, claws digging into my skin, blood dripping to the floor. I couldn't take it anymore.
"No! Don't look at me like that! Don't pity me!"
"It's all right…" Geri began, but I could see in his eyes that he didn't believe it either.
"Stop it," I growled, pushing him away with my words.
He closed his mouth, but the pity lingered in his gaze.
"I don't need your pity," I snapped, forcing composure I didn't feel. I turned toward the door, my footsteps echoing coldly in the silence.
I stopped at the door, glancing back at him one last time, my stare deadly.
"I don't need it because I will be strong. Stronger than any of you."
I was caught in another memory. The whirlpool of them swallowed me whole. Geri was furious.
"You'll break your own bones!" he shouted, frustration lacing his voice.
"What do you care?!" I shot back, my voice sharp.
"Don't do this!" he begged, a desperate edge in his words. "Your body is human. It can't take this pressure!"
"There's nothing human about me," I spat, my disgust clear.
"You're wrong," he shot back.
"I'm a monster," I said calmly. "You'd better get used to it. The Crosspherat doesn't take kindly to their dogs making friends with monsters."
In the next memory, Geri stood holding a newspaper. There were whispers about the victim of a brutal murder, and even though the name wasn't mentioned, we all knew who the perpetrator was.
[They tore his body to pieces. They tortured him almost beyond recognition.]
Geri stood in silence. He knew it was me.
I grinned mockingly. "You look so stupid. I told you I was a monster."
He dropped to his knees and hugged me. I wanted to scream at him, but no sound came from my throat. I just stood there, eyes wide, trapped in the moment.
"You are not a monster," he whispered, his voice barely audible.
My chest tightened painfully, but Lordling was already pulling me into the next memory.
"Sometimes…" Geri said, his voice distant. "I dream."
I looked up, but Geri wasn't looking at me. He was staring at the sky. I didn't say anything. I just turned back to the endless blue above us.
"Don't you have any dreams?" he asked, his voice soft.
He only used that tone when no one else was around—especially not Des.
"I don't need dreams," I growled.
He grunted. "Everyone needs dreams. They're what keep us going."
"What's your dream then?" I asked, despite myself.
"I want a bike," he said with a grin. "An old Simson, like my father had. I'd travel the world, see beautiful places, meet beautiful people, and drink all the booze there is."
I grimaced. "What a dream."
"I'll buy that bike one day," he said, his tone unwavering. "And when I do, I'll leave all this behind me."
He turned to face me suddenly, eyes gleaming. He wanted something from me, I could tell.
"Now it's your turn."
I sighed, knowing he wouldn't let it go.
"I want a normal life," I said, though even I didn't believe it. "I want to go to school, get a job, marry a wonderful woman. A house, a car, a child. A life that isn't... this."
He grimaced. "Well, that's... terribly boring."
We talked about our dreams like this sometimes. Geri wanted to be a motorcyclist, a broker, a lawyer—always something different, always so invested. It made my heart ache to see him so full of hope.
Geri wasn't as broken as most hunters. Maybe it was because he still had dreams—dreams that gave him a reason to keep going forward. I didn't tell him what we both knew: none of our dreams would ever come true. But I kept listening to his stories, watching his smile, pretending I didn't see the cracks.
Eventually, I managed to push Lordling out of my mind—but he didn't seem to want to stay after all those memories.
"This..." I gasped, struggling to catch my breath. "What was it for?!"
"You've now experienced what it feels like to have another mind inside your own," Lordling replied calmly, "and you've learned one way to expel it."
I wanted to argue, but a part of me knew that Lordling only did what was necessary.
"Remember that feeling," he instructed, his voice firm but his smile gentle. "Rest now, and think about the trap you'll set for me next time I enter your mind."
I straightened up, the weight of his words settling in, and nodded.
"I suggest you not worry too much about your hunter friend," he added with a knowing look. "I'm sure he can handle the situation."
"He is not my friend!" I snapped indignantly.
"You forgot to deny your concern," Lordling remarked with a wry smile.
I muttered a few choice words under my breath