Tanis POV
"You know this isn't going to end well," Mack says. I look gin. I want to explain, and asks "what isn't?" "Him and you. It is not going to end well," Mack says looking at me with a straight face. "Mack, there isn't and never was a Tan and Jason thing. So I really don't know what you are talking about," I say with confidence. "You know denial isn't a river in Africa, but the first stage of grief or accepting change," my subconscious comments. I walk outside just to catch a bratg of fresh air. There is a pool area filled with loads of people around and in it... Most of them I just know faces and not names. A bit further I see a quiet place overseeing our small town. "Can I go home now?" I ask myself.
"Tanis!" Samantha calls my name. "Yes, what's up?" I say walking in her direction. "Oh, there you are," this time Kimberly is the one to respond. "Okay, I might have done something wrong," my subconscious says a bit worried. "Yeah, here I am. What's up? Is Lexi looking for me?" I ask Sam. She looks at Kimberly. "Oh okay," my subconscious says. "So Tanis, I have been hearing some disturbing news about my boyfriend and you. That's you two have been really close over the past few days," she starts. I wonder where this is going?" My subconscious says already bored with what she's saying. I look at her, waiting for her to get to the point. "When I mean close you have been practically throwing yourself on him," she says annoyed. "Wait, what? When? What?" My subconscious says. "I don't know what your end game is, I really could care less about you, but I don't like people associating my boyfriend with the likes of you. So listen and listen carefully, if you want to act like a whore then be my guest. Just stay away from Jason Carter.
He is MINE. If you know what's good for you, you would take this warning to heart. Back off!" She says the last part with so much anger and venom my heart rate went to just for two minutes. I look at Samantha. She is looking at the cracked pavement like it is theost interesting thing in the world. I guess someone is ashamed. I look back at Kimberly. "What in the world is she waiting for? Isn't her cue to dramatically exit this scene by now?" My subconscious asks. " Are you done?" I ask her. She nods her head and I decide to leave. My throat is suddenly dry like sand paper and it feels like an apple is stuck. My eyes start to get a bit blurry as I try to find my way in the party and out the front door.
"Wow, that just happened," My subconscious says. My brain can't wrap itself around what Kimberly just said because in all honesty most of the things she said are based on misinterpretations of people on the outside of everything. I am so into my thoughts that I only notice now that I am back inside the house, surrounded by loud music; smoke and drunk teenagers. I walk into a wall. "Watch it!" The wall snaps at me. Since when do walls talk? "Oh Tan. It's you. Are you - Wait, are those years or sweat droplets?" Mack asks. "So he is the walk. My bad. Hold up, am I crying?" I ask myself. I touch my face to check whether it is tears or sweat and to my surprise, my eyes betrayed me and started watering without me noticing. "Well, of course , it is. Why would I be crying?" I lie. "Oh okay. Anyway, let's get you a drink and chill with us. Cole is still with Lexi and it's kind of strange seeing you not with her, you know," he says. All I feel like doing at this moment is to go home. I need to be alone with my thoughts. "Thanks but no. I'm heading home. Please tell Lexi that something came yo and I went home. I'll call her tomorrow," I say and I head to the door. I order an Uber and it is three minutes away. "Perfect!" My subconscious says.and the final reason why I do not like attending parties, there's always drama and I am either in the middle of it or a witness to it.
Jason POV
"Where's Lexi?" Mack asks us in the kitchen. "With Cole probably making out as always," Blake says. Everyone laughs. "okay. Sunde I am planning to get wasted, can someone tell her that Tan left already," Mack says while downing a bottle full of vodka. Guess who's getting a blackout first? This guy! Waur, he mentioned something about Tanis. "What do you mean she left?" I ask him. I feel Kimberly grip around my arm tighten. "She left the party. She seemed... Different I guess,," he looks at Kimberly while saying that, making her grip so tight that my ark started feeling number. I turn and kiss her on the top of her head trying to calm her down. It seems to work because I can feel the blood circulation starting up again. My arm couldn't handle anymore pressureon it. I shrug at what Mack said. "Let's dance," Kimberly states, changing the subject altogether. "I'm not in the mood," I say. She liijst me with disappointment. I hate it when she gives me that look. I can't tell her the truth which is that I have two left feet and I can't dance for shit. Oh hell no. It is better to seen as a heartless, self centered guy than someone who can be human. Someone who can be vulnerable . "Well, I can think of a few things that can set you un the mood," she whispers in my ear. My body wants to give into my dark desires but my mind is somewhere else. This isn't the right time. "I would love to do that but I made a promise to Philip that I would pop in at his place," I say my half lie. I am planning to pop in. I've been planning the visit for two days now.
Philip and I have been friends for five years now. We met in a top scholar chat room and we just clicked. He has dirty blonde shoulder length hair, a stone hard face with a deep jawline, light sky blue/green eyes that could literally seek your sould with just a stare finding your deepest secrets within it. He is the only I truly trust and leads me. He is wiser than most forty year olds and funnier than kiet comedians. He sees the glass half full and that's what I need in my life... Some positivity in it. "Oh," Kimberly says. I know that time. She uses it when she is feeling like she isn't a priority anymore. "Looj, I will make it up to tomorrow. Lunch maybe? Surprise lunch?" I ask and her face lights uo luke a Christmas tree. That's my girl. "Okay, but keep your phone on and answer my texts and calls," she states firmly. She knows whenever I spend time with Philip my phone goes on airplane mode.
"Okay, okay," I day bitterly. I'm already annoyed by the fact that she'll be texting every three minutes expecting an answer. "I have to go," I say with my arms around her waist. Kimberly is really beautiful. Any guy would be so fortunate to get her attention for just five seconds, but sometimes I feel that she is misplaced in my life. She is great to have when coming to the social politics of the high school, but with life in general she has something missing. I push those thoughts at the back of my mind. "Okay, I love you," she says. "I know," I say planting a kiss on her plump lips. She deepens it by putting her arms around my neck. Her kiss I'd filled with emotions of neediness and desperation. I allow the kiss to go in. I don't know what is going on with her as of late. After a few more minutes I pull away. "You okay?" I ask her once we break the kiss.
She smiles and nods. "Wow I can't believe I just witnessed my brothers tongue being inside my friend's mouth. That was so disgusting," Jess comments, ruining the moment as usual. "Let's go, Jess" I say ignoring what my sister said. "And you better behave," I look at Kimberly. She nods her head like a toddler being warned to behave by her parents. "You guys better take of my girlfriend," I say looking at Blake and the almost passed out Mack. "Yeah ,yeah. We will," Blake anserfz and at the same moment Cole and Lexi enter the kitchen with swollen lips. I don't want to even think about what was happening for the pasy forty five minutes between them. "Lexi, Tan went home. And Jess, I am leaving whether you're with me or not," I say as I leave the kitchen not waiting for a response from either of them. "Yeah, she looked... Different," I hear Mack's voice say as I reach the door.
I leave the party with only one thought of just talking and clearing my mind.
-----------------------Time Lapse--------------------
"Yes, I will be coming in tomorrow," a deep toned voice says on the other side of the welcome mat and door. "Yes , I am sure. I was really sick this time," the voice says again after a few minutes of silence. By the sound and sense of familiarity I am getting, my guess is that the voice belongs to Philip and judging by thw ling pauses he is just with a phone call. Or he might have finally lost his mind. I chuckle a bit at the the fact that my closest friend and untrained therapist is bunking work duties again. I think it's the fifth time this month. Wait... When coming to think of it, why in the world am I eavesdropping and still standing outside like a creep? I shake my head in disapproval of my actions and proceed into the mannered gesture of knocking.
After the second knock, the door swings open revealing a man with a broad smile, blue green eyes that hold the emotion of... Hungry? "What's up with his eyes?" I ponder. After a moment of realizing it is just me and my empty hands at the door, his smile turns upside down. "I thought you were the Chinese food delivery guy," he says annoyed.
"Oh..." Was all that managed to escape my lips. "Oh... That's all you have to say? Dude what do you want?" He asks beyond pissed. It's because of the food. It explains why he has a hungry look when he opened the door and why he was about to murder me when he realized that I was empty handed. "Philip , when last did you eat?" I ask. He often gets like this if he hasn't had another thing to snack on for more than 2 hours. Yes, this man has an appetite and metabolic rate that most girls would kill for. "Don't answer my question with a question. Didn't you have a party to attend or something? Or did Mack's liver finally give up?" He asked. He heads to the lounge and leaves me standing at the door.
"I guess that's an invitation to come in," I say to myself. "Yeah, I was there like an hour ago. I needed to relax a bit, so I decided to leave... To get some fresh air I guess," I say throwing myself on the double seated couch opposite to where he was sitting. "Well something must have happened for the king of Southern High to take a break from his royal duties. And don't say I'm fine because we both know you would be getting your freak on with Kimberly if you were fine," he says with a bored tone while browsing through the channels. The door bells rights and he gets I am about to tell him a lie. He is right.... And I hate that fact. If everything was dandy, I would be somewhere else doing something more entertaining than trying to process my thoughts and emotional state.
"I saw Tanis at the party," I say with stern voice as he put the takeout food on the coffee table. "And..." He says, encouraging me to go on. "And apparently she left early . According to Mack, she didn't look like her usual self when she left," I say still a bit worried about what caused her to leave without saying goodbye to me or even Lexi. "Maybe she was tired or not in the mood to party initially," he says shrugging his shoulders. "Well I would consider that if she showed signs of being tired but she seemed normal when she arrived. Well she seemed better than normal. She seemed carefree for once. Something must have happened for that sudden mood change," I state. "Anyway, why so concerned Sherlock? If I was someone else I would swear that Tanis is the one you're dating and not Kimberly. And speaking of Kimberly, how is she? How is she treating you? Is she still preoccupied with the meaningless things in life?"
Philip asks looking my direction for the first time since I've arrived. "She is okay. She's thrilled that everybody ants to know what's going on with her, us... Mostly her. She loves all the attention but she isn't that happy about the fact that Tanis and I are sharing the same register class this year. I mean why is she-" I begin to ramble, but Philip interrupts me. "Wait a minute you're in the same register class as Tanis instead of Kimberly?" He asks with a hint of amusement in his voice. "Yes. That's what I just said," I say annoyed that I had to repeat myself. He smieks at me and says something that never crossed my mind, "dude this seems like deja vu. I mean you guys in the same class without Kimberly there, and the drama that came it in only a week... You got to love high school," he looks like a toddler in a candy store with his lit up face. But he said about deja vu or more like a revisit to the past might be at play here.
Maybe this is God's way of seeing whether the decisions we took in the 9th grade when concerning each other was the right one. "Would you go back in time knowing what you know about your love life, and still ask Tanis out as you did back then?" He asks after a few minutes of silence disturbing my train of thought. "Yes. I would even grovel at her feet so that she could just be mine.... She has been mine, the timing was just not right," my mouth opens before I could even stop it.Snap! I really need to control my emotions around people. At last it's only Philip who heard my outburst. I looking his direction and he has this ridiculous, wide first graders smile plastered on his face. I think that this is my cue to leave. "I have to go-" I say while standing up.
"What? You're leaving because you went all I lovesick puppy on me?" He asks trying but failing to hide the smile on his face. "Yes!" my mind shouts. "No. Of course not," I decide to say the opposite. "I just need to do something," he stops me in my tracks and looks into my eyes. We wait silently for a few minutes. "You're going to see her, aren't you?" He asks in a serious tone. I decide not to answer him because he read my mind and right now I'm not in the mood for that. "Bye Philip," I say removing his hand from the chest. I open the door, "I hope you've thought about what you are about to do!" Philip shouts from the lounge. With that, I head to my car with only one person on my mind.