We walk for a while , side by side, fingers still interlaced. We left the busy part of the street a while back, I think the club is what brings this area to life at night. Otherwise, it's just a few houses and a few restaurants.
We make a turn, and i instantly notice a difference. Here, it's quieter, and there are more houses around than businesses. It looks like a housing neighbourhood.
I'm convinced Max has an ulterior motive for bringing me out to talk, but I remember that I was the one who actually wanted to talk. I practically pushed him out here. I don't know where we are, but I'm trusting Max to know where we are going and not to do anything nefarious to me.
That is probably not a smart move on my part considering I don't know him at all, and I've only seen him a few times , but I am choosing to trust him anyway because he just saved me from stupid Greg. It's not the brightest idea I've had, but I've followed him all the way out here, so right now, it'll have to do.
I look up at him. Part of his face is shaded, and from my angle, I'm getting a whole lot of jaw line. He has a five o' clock shadow that I am itching to touch. I mean, I've lived my whole life being indifferent to facial hair, but on him, it's downright sexy.
His face is expressionless, and suddenly, I have the unexplainable impulse to see him smiling.
I look up at him and try to speak, but when he stares right back at me, all thoughts fly out of my head. His eyes look with mine, and strangely, I feel like he can see right through me.
I feel like he can see every thought that has ever passed through me. I feel like he can sense every emotion that I have ever felt. I feel exposed and bare to him.
With difficulty, I pull my gaze away from his and clear my throat.
"You know, you can let go of my hand now." His only answer is to tighten his fingers around mine.
"I mean, we are the only ones walking on this road." I give him a pointed look to emphasize my point, but he just stares straight ahead. So I try again
"it's not like I'm going to get lost. You are very easy to find." He still doesn't say anything. Okay.
We walk in silence for a few more minutes, an idea suddenly occurs to me
"You know, if someone sees us , they'll think we are out on a romantic stroll." I take a peek at him, and he cracks a smile. Instantly, i feel lighter. That's better. I don't notice that I've spoken aloud until he asks
"What is" when I realise what he is asking me. I flush.
"Nothing," I mumble
"Thank you for earlier." When he doesn't reply, i look at him. The ticking in his temple from earlier in the club has returned, weirdly, I'm filled with the inexplicable urge to assure him that I'm fine.
The urge is so strong. Acting on it feels like the right thing to do, and I'm not entirely unsure that it's the wrong thing either. So I step into his line of sight, and he is forced to stop walking and look at me.
"I'm fine," I say, but the ticking in his temple oicks up speed. He tears his gaze from mine and looks over my head like he is seeing something I'm not seeing.
"Hey," I say, I instinctively take a step close to him. In a flash, his hand shoots out and pulls me even closer. I still. Right now, we are so close. We are practically fused together, but
I don't panic. On the contrary, I relax. My free hand, as if guided by an invincible force, goes onto his face as if to touch him. Just as it's about to make contact, I doubt myself, so my hand just hovers in the air. Max, however, takes the decision out of my hands by leaning his face into my hand.
My proximity to him right now is doing all sorts of things to my brain. His free hand goes to wrap around the hand I have on his face.
He turns his head to have better access to my palm. He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply.
"Callie," He groans. Like my name is the answer to all his prayers. He says it like it is everything he has ever asked for and more. Once again, I can't help but wonder at my reaction to this man in front of me.
We stand there until I feel him start to relax slowly as the tension drains out of him. He opens his eyes, and I see a flash of gold in them. However, it's gone so quickly that I think I imagined it.
With all signs of his former agitation gone, I take a step back from him, disappointment pools like lead in my stomach as this time, unlike in the club, he lets me. We continue walking.
"Does it happen often?" He asks, suddenly breaking the silence
"What?, being accosted in dark corners?"
I try to make light of the situation, but the joke falls flat, even to my ears.
"No, Calista," He says, and the way he says my name causes goosebumps to pop up on my skin.
"I am talking about the panic attack,"
I stop dead in my tracks. Max notices and turns to look at me. A hundred thoughts go through my head in that moment.
The first being that my earlier observation that he sees through me was infact an astute one and the last being a strong undeniable urge to not appear weak in front of anyone. So I answer with the obvious choice.
Deny, then Deflect.
I force a chuckle past my lips and force myself to meet his probing stare.
"I don't know what you mean. That was just a normal reaction to being chased down a dark hallway with a drunk guy in pursuit."
He stares at me, and for one horrible moment, I think he is going to call my bluff, but he doesn't he just shakes his head a little and lets out a small, rueful laugh. He resumes walking, and I follow him.
After a few more minutes of walking, we make a turn, and I look up. The sky is so beautiful tonight. I can see all the stars. Twinkling in their gaseous, glowing glory. I take a peek at Max.
"Do you know anything about constellations?" I ask him. He looks at me quizzically but answers anyway
"No. I don't, but I do have something of a relationship with the moon." I let out a laugh.
"What?, every full moon you turn to a wolf and howl at the moon?" I ask
"Something like that," he answers with a small smile on his face. I can't help it. I burst out laughing. In the quiet of the night, it sounds really loud. I make a squeaky noise and cover my mouth with my hand. Trying and failing to muffle my laughter.
I notice Max just staring at me. I flush. I know my laugh isn't the cutest and the most ladylike. My family used to have an inside joke about how I sounded like a cat being stangled when I laughed. That thought sobers me up quickly.
"What?" I ask him, slightly embarrassed
"You look beautiful when you laugh." This time, my brain doesn't freeze,so I give him a cheeky smile.
"I know." He blinks once, twice, then he nods his head a little, and we resume walking.
"My sister used to love the stars," I tell him sometime later. He looks down at me but doesn't say anything, so I continue.
"She used to go on and on about them, I remember her saying something about orion and centaurus crux." I let out a small laugh.
"God, she must have talked about centaurus crux for hours. I remember wanting her to shut up. I told her to actually, then she would run to our Dad and tell him I told her to shut up. "
We take another turn. "He would tell her to talk about things she loved, and then she'd start asking if he saw the stars on his flights. When he would tell her no, he would just laugh and joke that we are too far away from them
" I don't say anything for some time. We take another turn
"I would give the world to hear her speak about constellations again," I say quietly.
"You must have loved her very much." He tells me. I look up at him with pain in my eyes.
"I did," and for some unknown reason, I tell him.
"She, along with my mother, died in a car accident a year ago today." He doesn't say the stupid, meaningless, 'I'm sorry for your loss.' I've come to expect from people when they hear that my mum and sister died.
"We were going to celebrate my birthday that day, Nicole wasn't supposed to come with us. She was supposed to be at home." I stare blankly at the pathway in front of me.
"They both died, I was the sole survivor of the accident." I laugh ruefully
"If you can even call it that"
"What do you mean?" He asks me. I look up at him
"I was the one driving, Max. I should have been able to do something. " He grabs me so forcefully that I let out a small gasp. He tilts my face up to his.
"Don't do that." I stare at him stunned, his intensity
"Don't you dare do that. You do not get to do that to yourself. "
I stare at him in shock. I don't know how to respond, so I don't.
"Do you understand me." He stares at me with some undeciperable emotion in his eyes
Something occurs to me then. I've seen him before. And suddenly, with crystal clarity, I remember
"You were there. Back then, you were there."