Collin (a few days ago)
The air crackled with a nervous energy that had nothing to do with the fairy lights strung across the venue. My smile felt tight on my face, a mask barely concealing the storm brewing within. Cereus, resplendent in a flowing white dress, was the center of attention, her laughter echoing like a melody I could never quite grasp.
Earlier, I'd tried to steer the conversation towards our past, towards the unspoken words that hung heavy between us. But a single phone call disrupted it, it was from her boyfriend, it seemed, she moved on, guess she already had long back.
The rest of the evening was a blur of forced interactions and hollow goodbyes. As the last guests trickled out, I watched, heart heavy, as Cereus climbed into a sleek black car. A pang of jealousy, sharp and unexpected, ripped through me as I noticed the way she leaned in, talking animatedly to the driver.
He was handsome, with a confident air that made my stomach clench. A flicker of recognition sparked in my mind, a memory struggling to surface. Then, it hit me like a physical blow. It was him. The guy from the bubble tea shop, almost a year ago. The one who'd bought Cereus's order, the one whose presence had inexplicably bothered me even then.
Regret, thick and suffocating, coiled around my throat. How could I have been so oblivious? If only I'd recognized him then, maybe things could have been different. Maybe I could have fought for Cereus, for us. The rest of the night was spent drowning my sorrows in amber liquid. Each gulp of whiskey was a bitter toast to missed opportunities and unspoken feelings.
By the time I stumbled into my apartment, the world was a blurry mess. The harsh fluorescent lights of the living room did little to dispel the darkness that clung to me. Two empty glasses of whiskey sat on the coffee table, mute witnesses to my self-pitying spiral.
Just as I was about to retreat to the sanctuary of my bedroom, a knock on the door startled me. It was Leo, my younger brother, his brow furrowed with concern.
"Hey, big bro," he said hesitantly. "You okay? You look like you lost your best friend."
I forced a smile, the gesture feeling brittle and unconvincing. "Just a long night, Leo. Everything's fine."
He wasn't fooled. "What happened?"
Silence stretched between us, thick and heavy. Leo sat beside me, his presence a silent comfort. In that moment, I yearned to confide in him, to tell him everything. But the words wouldn't come. Shame and regret were a tangled mess in my throat.
"Look," Leo began, his voice gentle, "I came because I have this thing... a confession to make, and I need your advice."
My head snapped up. "What kind of confession?"
Leo leaned forward, fiddling with his phone. "So, here's the thing," he said, voice dropping to a nervous whisper. "Molly, well... she doesn't know."
My heart clenched. "Doesn't know what?"
"About Wusan," he mumbled, avoiding my gaze. "About you being the CEO."
A flicker of surprise ignited in my chest, quickly extinguished by a wave of bitter amusement. "Right. Why would you tell her?"
"Well, I..." Leo stammered. "At first, I wasn't sure if she already knew and was just playing along. You know, the whole rich-boy-pretending-to-be-normal thing. But then, things just got serious, and it never seemed like the right time to bring it up."
"And now?" I asked, the question laced with a self-deprecating chuckle.
"Now," he said, a determined glint in his eyes, "Cereus works there. She knows. And I feel like Molly deserves to know too. But how do I do it? I don't want to scare her off."
I stared into the bottom of my empty glass, the ice clinking forlornly. Here I was, drowning my sorrows in whiskey because a girl didn't want to talk about the past, while my own brother worried about scaring his girlfriend off with a little financial truth. Life, it seemed, had a cruel sense of humour.
"Honestly, Leo," I started, forcing a semblance of cheer, "just be upfront. Honesty's the best policy, cliché as it sounds. Tell her you were nervous, worried about how she'd react. Most importantly, tell her it doesn't change who you are, who you are with her."
Leo nodded, a small smile forming on his lips. "Thanks, big brother. I really appreciate it." He stood up, stretching. "Alright, I better get some sleep. Big confession tomorrow."
As he shuffled down the hallway, I sank deeper into the couch. My mind, fueled by the lingering effects of the whiskey, went down a dangerous path. Would things with Cereus have been different if I'd been honest about Wusan? Was the secrecy a part of why we failed?
The question gnawed at me for the rest of the night. The image of Cereus, radiant and happy, talking to the guy from the bubble tea shop - Matthew - morphed into an image of Cereus turning away from me, her face a mask of disappointment. Disappointment because I'd hidden a part of myself, a part that could have explained the life I led, the choices I made.
Regret, a familiar companion, settled in my gut, heavy and suffocating. Sleep, when it finally came, was a restless sea of what-ifs and could-have-beens. The truth, it seemed, could be a double-edged sword, and tonight, all I felt was the sting of the blade.