I began my annual shakedown of Fred as usual. We were simply gambling for favors. As we gambled, I began asking Fred about his cultivation just like any naive, young cultivator would. "Hey Fred, I hear you're a genius with fire techniques. I myself have a fire root, so I'm curious what exactly you can do with it." I asked charmingly.
Fred was glad to talk about his techniques, it had been so long since he could show off. It also took his mind off the debt he was rapidly accumulating. "I've got quite a few, Blazing Kick, Ember Punch, Flaming Slash, and so on. They're all great, but what I really love is my heating technique, Kinetic Burst." Fred obliged.
I had him right where I wanted him, "This Kinetic Burst does it only use fire?" I asked.
"It does use yang too, but it can be practiced without yang. It just won't be as effective. I have to do something similar when using my Static Slash technique since I don't have an air root. I couldn't very well pass up on an electric technique though could I?" Fred elaborated enthusiastically.
An electric technique! Fred was right about that, every cultivator drooled over electric techniques. They were powerful, could cause paralysis, and reminded us all of the tribulation lightning. Sometimes that psychological factor was all it took to win the battle.
Fred suddenly asked, "Why do you ask all these questions?"
"Oh, I'm just curious that's all. I just started cultivating, and I can't wait until I'm shooting fireballs out of my hands and calling lighting down on my enemies. Pew. Pew. Kaboom." I took on a silly stance and mimed shooting fire from my hands and a big explosion.
Fred laughed heartily, "You'll get there soon enough."
"Hey Fred, let's make this more fair to you. Instead of telling me this stuff for free. How about we gamble on it? This time if I win, give me a list of all your elemental techniques that don't rely on yang." I made an offer.
"You're on little miss," Fred challenged.
Soon enough, the expected result occurred and I had a list of Fred's techniques. I now needed him to focus on his own goal before I raised the stakes. He kept challenging me for a favor, even though he kept losing. At first, I thought he was just entertaining me, but it wasn't like my favors were always easy. He needed something from me.
"Hey Fred, I'm curious, why do you keep gambling with me despite me wiping the floor with you every year," I asked as if it was a mere fancy of mine.
"I-I would be embarrassed t-to tell you," Fred stammered as he was caught off guard.
"If you actually won any of these hands you'd have to tell me for me to fulfill the favor right? So why not just tell me now? Rip off the bandage as it were," I insisted.
"Well alright then, you see, there's this girl. She's at the sect, and you'll be at the sect too," Fred started.
"I KNEW IT! A lady is it? I gotchyou fam. You need a wingman donchya?" I accidentally fell into old idioms.
"Fam? Wingman? What?" Fred asked confusedly.
I realized my mistake but pressed on like I hadn't made any, "I mean you need somebody to introduce you to her. Someone to make you look good. Am I right?"
"Something like that, yes," Fred replied.
"Awe, Fred has a crush, so cute." I squealed.
Fred blushed instantly, "Not so loud," he said.
"What are you worried that stick-in-the-mud Li Kai is going to overhear and tell the whole sect our little Fred boy is in love." I teased.
Li Kai did in fact overhear and did not appreciate being called a stick-in-the-mud, but he had little room to chastise me for it as he was currently losing just as badly to my sister Vivian as Fred was losing to me.
Fred's blush deepened, but he didn't know how to respond to my teasing anymore, so I continued, "Well since we're playing for love, how about we up the stakes a bit shall we? Me putting the charm on your crush versus your Static Slash technique, what say you?"
"DEAL!" Fred shouted. How could he refuse such an offer after his motives had been exposed?
Li Kai shook his head on the opposite side of the room. He could see how I was playing Fred. But he wasn't about to intervene. This would save him a lot of sect contribution points. Many of the techniques Fred possessed were ones he intended to buy for me. He was going to make me work hard for them of course, so he was a little sad at the loss of motivators. But between saving his own sect contribution points and not wanting to discourage me from finding my own luck, he let the matter play out without his interference. Then a thought occurred to him, this little Zoey was going to be an absolute menace amongst the disciples, maybe even amongst the elders who weren't wary of my cons.
As expected, the Static Shock technique soon came into my possession. So too did his Blazing Kick, Ember Punch, Flaming Slash, Spark, and Fireball techniques. Even the Kinetic Burst technique, which was the target of my scheme, fell into my hands. Soon I'd have hot bathwater on demand. I'm sure if Li Kai could hear my thoughts right now, he would disown me as a disciple.
I wrapped things up by playing for a technique I wasn't interested in. I let slip a fake tell to que Fred into my bad hand. And, for the first time in the last 8 years, Fred won a hand against me. Don't tell him I let him win. I was a sucker for a good love story. Just because I played the part of Loki most of the time, didn't mean that I wouldn't also enjoy taking up Cupid's mantle from time to time. My boy Fred deserved a chance.
"Congratulations Fred, you won!" I screamed vigorously as Fred laid down his hand and revealed the winning cards. Fred stared at the cards, dumbstruck. It was the first time he hadn't folded when he had a winning hand. Then he stared at the nostrils I had flared to indicate my bad hand. He was going to memorize that tell and take back all those favors he owed me. I could read his face like a book. Too bad for him, the tell was fake. We went back to playing for favors and, as expected, Fred lost every hand. To be extra mean, I flared my nostrils on purpose a few times when I had winning hands.
"So Fred, who is this mysterious girl you have a crush on? You're going to have to tell me so I can fulfill our bargain." I questioned Fred.
"She's the fairy of the Dancing Sword Sect," Fred replied in a daze, clearly remembering an enchanting scene.
"Well, you certainly don't aim low. Do you have a name?" I asked.
"No," Fred said sheepishly, "Everyone simply called her fairy. I never got close enough to ask for her name."
"We're going to have to work on your courage Fred my boy. Or maybe we already have. Tell me, has being around my enchanting beauty helped you develop a backbone?" I teased.
Fred spat out his drink in laughter, "You? A beauty? Ha! Only until I got to know you, then I discovered you were actually a little demon in a dress!" Fred teased right back.
We passed the rest of the afternoon in jest, the cards forgotten on the table.