And I wonder if I could ever return,if I could ever be the same,if these broken pieces of me could ever be reassembled.

Allison watched the trees pass the cars ,her mind faraway ,so many thoughts running through her head as she caressed the top of the cardboard box that sat on her lap.

"You really should have left that junk back at the old house,we are starting afresh and it would be best to leave those things behind"a frustrated voice ran past her ears followed by a loud sigh from her aunt sitting in the driver's side.

A scoff almost ran out of Allison's mouth until she held it back

'Starting afresh and dumping trash'probably the same reason she was on her way to a boarding school already after moving again just yesterday. Though she didn't really blame the woman,it wasn't exactly easy being a woman in her early thirties trapped taking care of her niece.

Her aunt was a beauty in her youth , still is ,her tender brown hair which Allison shared and milky white skin and a figure that could rival models though most of that beauty was now covered in dark circles and huge eyebags.

Allison slid the cardboard box open,a note her mother had given her 4 years ago on her 13th birthday lay tucked away inside amongst other things.

She picked up the letter and read it again

Dear Allison,

Happy birthday to my darling daughter on her 13th birthday as she finally becomes a teenager

Though I can't be here with you today,I made sure to get you a present before I left .

You start high school in a few weeks . The least I could do is get you a few supplies and a little something to make sure you always look like the little angel you are . It helps that the hair clip matches your eyes.

Light blue

I'll be back soon darling.

Kisses, my little angel

Love,mama

Allison ran her thumb over the words,her mum's writing,5 years later and she still keeps the letters hoping her mama would come back.

She remembers every single detail of that night even as she tries to forget it

Her mother wasn't exceptionally beautiful or smart but she was hardworking and in love, a devoted christian she was.

She loved God and she loved her husband and child.

Allison used to believe in God until that day. She kept asking questions but got no answers.

If God really existed why did he watch her suffer and do nothing?

Why did he watch her get hurt yet didn't stop it?

Why did he watch everyone around her leave and do nothing?

Or maybe she was the problem,she was the problem in all their lives even God couldn't be bothered to care anymore.

She had overheard her aunt's conversation with both her uncles and neither wanted anything to do with her,they called her cursed,their wives hated the site of her.

She wouldn't need this

She wouldn't need them,if only....

Darlin was the best option,a college all the way at the other side of the country

She held the hair clip tighter until it began to pierce her flesh and blood ran down her palm yet she showed no signs of the pain

She lifted her hand up and as she watched her palm bleed ,she spoke

"I won't be a problem anymore,aunty"

Her aunt chuckled lightly "you were never a problem darling,I will always be here for you no matter what, remember that okay,I promise you"her aunt stretched out her arm to hold her's

"I know"a sad smile crossed Allison's face but was gone immediately

She hated promises ,they were always broken and with every broken promise a part of her shattered

As she turned back towards the window,a tear ran down the side of her eyes and she drifted off to sleep with one thought in mind.

"Darlin College "