Bunga still held happiness in the blush that she found hard to hide. While recharging the electronic card. Passing through the station entrance. Stepping into the crowded station hallway. And waiting on the platform. Then finally, that happiness seemed to return to its true self.
With all the voices going in and out, coming and going, trampling on her mind, she became confused because she didn't know how to act. She was not good at romance. She was only good at remembering death.
She was indecisive. How to deal with Erik after this? How should she answer his feelings? Wasn't... she unworthy?
It was getting choppy.
Huft
She began to breathe.
Inhaling as if beginning to force a halt to all the chaotic activity. Then let it out quietly as if trying to reorganize the important components that should exist in the universe of her mind.
However, reality showed that the restoration effort ended in failure. And Bunga could only watch the drizzle descend as the train to be boarded appeared from the far corner of the viewpoint, along with the rumble of the workers' footsteps.
At least then, in the quiet of the train and Radiohead's Creep seeping into every cell of his body, Bunga found a place of escape. Standing near the door of the carriage, alone in her world.
It was a time when she could stand still, watch and melt into every second that rolled right before her eyes.
Until dejavu hit when suddenly someone offered Bunga a candy. The hard blow silenced the curves of her face and her eyeballs were glued to the small blue wrapper. She examined again all the features of the giver, perhaps it was the same entity as the crazy entity that had traumatized her at that time.
"No... this person is different, at that time his face was younger. Now... older," she muttered. She took the candy when the man again convinced her to take it.
She didn't eat the candy. She just put it in her pocket.
It seemed like she was too anxious. However, she was also interested to see how things would go.
A few seconds passed.
The man put his head to Bunga's ear, trying to say something.
"How are you, ma'am? Still alive."
The memory of Sima who had invited Bunga to a duel began to knock down all the calmness and even the enormity of her indecision at that time. However, she tried to think logically. Maybe her anxiety was just exaggerated. After all, as far as she knew, it was impossible for a Sima to have more than one ability. She had seen that Sima create a bone spear from the palm of his hand, so there was no way that Sima also had the power to change the shape of his face.
"I'm... fine," Bunga tried not to panic looking at the man's friendly face.
In an effort to calm herself down so as not to lead to mass chaos, Bunga thoughtlessly grabbed the Sima Danger Signal-bought again after it had been destroyed during the Vika tragedy-from a pocket hung on the waistband of her pants so it wouldn't fall off-and pressed the button on the device.
She and the humans around her would not be impacted at all. Only that Sima would be tormented. And it took a few seconds for her to turn off the device-if her guess was wrong-before a Sima Hunter came on the call.
The man's hand immediately grabbed Bunga's, stopping her attempt to press the device. "Don't make a mess here," the Sima whispered. He shook his head. "Or you'll witness something you'll regret for the rest of your life."
Bunga could do nothing at the piercing look in Sima's eyes with that thin mustache.
Bunga's guess was right! However, was it really the same Sima or another Sima who knew her because Bunga's name had skyrocketed among them? Either way, she didn't care anymore.
As it was, there was no way to get rid of this threat, or kill it, without watching more lives be taken for it.
"And honestly, I have no intention of doing that either," the man released his hold on Bunga.
"Look at them." The Sima pointed at two small children sitting on the passenger seat, behind him. The first child was licking a red candy bar while the second one was eating ice cream. They were twin girls. They stopped, staring back at Bunga and the Sima. They didn't say anything. "We were just having fun in the park. So yeah... please kindly understand."
His eyes moved to the pocket of Bunga's shirt. Not pleased. "One more thing, the candy is safe. Just bought it at-"
"Then just kill me," Bunga replied, quietly. Her whole body was tense. Couldn't believe she had just said such a monumental thing, even making that Sima silent.
Bunga did not dare to look at that Sima.
Who knows what will happen afterwards.
"Oh ya, meet my younger siblings," said the Sima, suddenly. "This is Cici." She patted the shoulder of the first child, while clearly showing it to Bunga. "This is Caca." Then to the second one. After that, introducing Bunga. "Cici, Caca. I'd like to introduce you to my friend, her name is... what's your name, Ma'am?"
"Bunga."
"Yes, her name is Bunga ... say hi to Bunga."
Cici and Caca greeted Bunga awkwardly. She replied back, awkwardly too.
The Sima extended a hand. Bunga hesitantly accepted it. "I'm Revan. The one who asked you to a duel on the train. I'm sure you're confused as to why people like us are suddenly here, but that's not important, I guess." Revan let go of her hand.
"I don't know if you're really serious about that.
"But if that's the case.
"Meet me at Monas on Saturday, at ... 10. Go down to the museum, wait near one of the vending machines. If you're there for two hours and I don't show up, just go home."
The train doors opened when they arrived at the station.
Revan whispered, "There will be something important there. But if you decide against it, just call Sima Hunters, or I don't know, Sima Butchers maybe?"
People flocked down. Including Revan who brought Caca and Cici. Bunga was watching the three Sima step outside when Revan stopped in the middle of a sea of footsteps, waving at Bunga, intending to show a small object he was carrying; Bunga's Sima Danger Signal!
Bunga gaped, immediately checking the device.
That Sima had stolen the Sima Danger Signal from the waistband of her pants!
"Thank you for your concern, Ms. Bunga!" said Revan.
"Don't forget to bring bakwan when you go to Monas!"
Bunga was about to chase Revan when the train doors suddenly closed.
" Shit."
*****
Actually, Bunga didn't think to involve Sima Hunters up to Sima Butchers in her insane plan at Monas later. Witnessing all the guilt that she could never answer, suicide was not a bad choice. After all, since the tragedy on the LRT at that time, Bunga should be dead.
It's just that, since Revan mentioned about something important, Bunga actually started thinking about it. It was Thursday. Bunga was rethinking their involvement for the millionth time. In front of the desk in her room, with her laptop and flip phone on it, those fingers drummed on the wooden base. Her feet relentlessly pounded the floor.
Was the plan at Monas more than just her meeting with Revan? Instead, would another major tragedy occur there? That was the root of her fear. Had Revan deliberately leaked their plot so Bunga could witness it and then die in the tragedy? The Sima gang shouldn't be afraid of the Butcher Sima though, but Bunga didn't want that to happen at the end of her life. If she died, she should just die. Therefore, she had to prevent that from happening by making a report.
However, what if there would actually not even be a tragedy and Bunga only met Revan, in their crazy plan? As said: Waiting at one of the vending machines at 10 am, meeting Revan, maybe being taken somewhere and killed, or going home if two hours passed and the Sima didn't come. Reporting this plan would make it futile. To be honest, Bunga did not want to ruin this plan.
Bunga wanted to die, but did not want to see tragedy.
So, what exactly was the important thing that Revan meant?
Bunga could not sleep at night.
This insane plan then was more than enough to mess up the Friday at the office that came the next day. Some negligence occurred. Bunga could only apologize to cover it up. To the point where her boss finally got fed up with Bunga's negligence, in his hermetically sealed office, the woman was scolded.
His boss also said, "Please, I can still tolerate your mistakes when you're still early here. But it's already more than fucking two months that you've been here. And please, can you just not messing around?"
"And here's a fact. Even though this is your uncle's company. Neither I or even he are actually giving a shit about you."
Bunga finally witnessed a side she had never seen while working here. Knowing that, she seemed grateful to be involved in this insane plan with Revan. Although ultimately caught in a dilemma between tragedy and death.
With the dilemma and the boss's anger constantly hovering in her mind, Bunga enjoyed her lunch in the office cafeteria along with the traffic of the city roads.
"Are you okay?" Suddenly someone tapped his left shoulder.
Bunga shouted in surprise. The voice silenced everyone in the cafeteria including the one who tapped her shoulder. Everyone looked at the woman. Then went back to their own business. While the woman looked at the person who was responsible for it.
Erik.
"For heaven's sake, I didn't intend to shock you," Erik said.
"I know you... want to be alone. But, it's just... that was really terrible, I suppose," he continued.
Bunga looked away. "No... it's fine. Thanks for asking."
"So, can I...?" Erik asked if he could sit in the seat across from Bunga. Bunga said yes.
Bunga and Erik ate together.
They chatted about a few things while eating. Still awkward, indeed. Bunga also did not tell much, let alone the crazy plan in Monas. However, at least she remembers their conversation as an oasis from the ruin of her day at work at that day.
Until she had to go to Monas the next day.