Tatsumi stood still, battered and bruised in the foggy mountains, the weight of his memories pressing down on him like an invisible burden.
He couldn't shake the haunting vision of the mission that had gone wrong, and it was gnawing at him.
Bulat, who stood tall beside him, shook his head and sighed at this sight. He had seen this multiple times this week.
The young man in front of him always gets lost in his thoughts, spacing out again.
"Tatsumi, you're spacing out again," he said, snapping the young man out of his trance. This must have been the fiftieth time this week alone.
"l-I'm fine," Tatsumi replied quickly, though his voice betrayed the unease lurking beneath the surface.
Bulat raised an eyebrow, his sharp eyes catching every detail. "Hmm, But I don't think you are fine though. You've been distracted ever since you came back from that mission with Leone."
Tatsumi sighed deeply, looking up at the towering figure of his mentor. "I know. I just… sometimes it's hard for me to shake it off."
Bulat, observing Tatsumi's internal struggle, knew he had to intervene before it got worse. 'I thought he would deal with his condition himself, but looking at him I think I have to intervene,' he thought, his expression serious as he looked at the young man. 'Otherwise, he'll get himself killed in one of the missions.'
He placed a firm hand on Tatsumi's shoulder and asked. "If it's so hard for you to forget, let me ask you a simple question. If you ever get the chance to go back, what would you do?" His voice remained calm, with no judgement, only the wisdom of someone who had been through this before.
Tatsumi looked flustered, the question catching him off guard. He stammered, "I-I would…" but the words stuck in his throat. His mind spun, unsure of how to answer.
But when he felt the solid grip of Bulat's hand on his shoulder, grounding him, his clouded thoughts began to clear. He gathered his resolve and, after a brief pause, answered honestly, "I would still kill that man."
His voice was firmer now, and he continued, "I still want to become someone who fights to protect the innocent, and ensure that no one else experiences the suffering that my friends, that others like them, have suffered… even if I have to dirty my hands in the process."
Bulat stared at him for a moment, then broke into a hearty laugh, the sound booming in the quiet mountains.
He clapped Tatsumi's shoulder with approval. "Then do it, young man! A man has to do what he believes in. Be honest with your companions, and most importantly, be honest with yourself."
He pointed his finger at Tatsumi's chest, emphasising his next words. "As long as your heart is in the right place, it's alright. But remember one thing, acting in the heat of passion can lead to bad outcomes. Keeping calm under pressure is essential, not just for you, but for the people around you."
He paused for a moment, watching as the words sank in. "That's why Leone didn't stop you at that moment. She wanted you to learn the importance of self-control. If you had control over yourself, you could have killed that noble without alerting the little girl."
Tatsumi was stunned by the revelation. He stood in silence, trying to process the wisdom that Bulat was offering him.
It dawned on him with significant force. Leone refrained from stopping him then, recognizing it as an important teaching moment for him.
Bulat's eyes darkened as he delivered the harsh truth. "Why do you think we laughed at you when you first said we, the Night Raid, were guardians of justice?"
His tone grew wintry, almost detached as he continued, "We are killers, Tatsumi. What we do, it's morally wrong, and we know it. There's no denying that. When a person kills, there's no good or bad in the act itself. Killing, no matter the reason, is still taking a life. And the killer… will bear the burden of every life he takes. Each one of those people had someone waiting for them, a family, friends. And if one day their family comes after him for revenge, he has no right to justify himself."
Tatsumi clenched his fists at the older man's words as his anger bubbled beneath the surface.
The memories of Sayo and Ieyasu filled his mind. Their suffering at the hands of those depraved nobles was still fresh and painful for him.
If Bane had not saved them that day for whatever reasons he had, they would have surely died.
He couldn't contain his frustration any longer as he blurted out.
"But what if that whole family is made of demons?" Tatsumi retorted, his voice rising. "Like that bitch who tortured Sayo and Ieyasu? Demons like that, they don't deserve to live! What about their families? Weren't that girl's mother and father were monsters too?"
His face twisted with anger and grief, the thought of his friends' pain fueling his outburst. His mind raced, trying to reconcile the idea that killing monsters like those nobles could still carry a moral weight.
Bulat watched the young man closely, letting him vent, but his expression didn't soften. He understood Tatsumi's pain, but this was a lesson he had to learn.
"Not everyone is a monster, Tatsumi," Bulat said quietly, though his voice still held firm. "There are those who don't know the truth about their fathers, brothers, or sons. Innocents like that little girl in the mansion. You killed her father, and she'll carry that pain for the rest of her life, not knowing what he did."
"T-That girl probably knew-" Tatsumi's breath hitched, but the memory of the little girl's terrified face came flooding back, making him stop.
The girl's piercing scream, the way she had looked at him, who was covered in her father's blood. All flashed before his eyes.
"No, she didn't. She was innocent." Bulat retorted, his voice softer now, but still resolute. "To her, he was just her father. And that's why we carry the burden of our actions. Even if the people we kill are monsters, there's always people who are innocent who suffer because of it."
The weight of Bulat's words sank in, and Tatsumi felt the tension in his chest tighten. He had acted out of rage, but in doing so, he had caused harm to someone who didn't deserve it.
The guilt hit him again like a wave, threatening to drown him.
"That's why we can never justify our actions with vengeance," Bulat said. "We fight for the people, for the future, not for our own rage. And even if our cause is just, we have to accept that what we do comes with a price. We bear that weight because no one else should have to."
Silence stretched between them as Tatsumi absorbed the truth.
The path of an assassin wasn't black and white.
It was filled with moral grey areas, and every kill left a mark, not just on the victim, but on the killer, too.
"You're not wrong to feel anger, Tatsumi," Bulat said softly, placing a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "But you have to learn to control it. Otherwise, it'll consume you, and you'll lose sight of why you're fighting in the first place."
Tatsumi nodded, though his heart was heavy. He knew Bulat was right.
He didn't want to become a killer driven by rage. He wanted to protect people, to make sure no one suffered like Sayo and Ieyasu had.
But walking that fine line between justice and vengeance was harder than he ever imagined.
"One more thing," Bulat said, his voice steady and calm, though carrying the weight of his own experiences, "killing out of rage or vengeance… it makes you no better than the ones we're fighting. Yes, we kill, but we do it with purpose. It's not about how much blood you spill or how brutal you can be. It's about making sure that when you take someone out, it's about protecting others. You have to keep a clear head, no matter how ugly things get."
Tatsumi remained silent, absorbing every word. He knew Bulat was right. His anger had driven him in that moment, but it had clouded his judgement and made him reckless.
Now, he understood that his rage didn't make him righteous. It made him dangerous, not just to himself, but to others.
Bulat clapped his hand once more on Tatsumi's shoulder, his expression kind but firm. "You have so much potential, Tatsumi. You've got the strength, the heart, and the will to make a difference. But don't let the darkness consume you. You'll lose yourself, and that's a path you can't come back from."
Taking a step back, Bulat softened his tone, though the sincerity in his voice remained. "I'm not telling you to stop feeling. Those emotions you have they make you human. But you need to control them, not let them control you. Remember why you fight Tatsumi? For the people you couldn't save, for your friends, for a future where there are no monsters like that noble. When you hold on to that purpose, no amount of evil can break you."
Tatsumi felt the weight lift off his chest a little, his heart lighter than it had been in days. Bulat's words rang true, and though it would take time, he knew he had the guidance he needed to stay on the right path.
Bulat looked up at the sky, noticing how the sun had already set. "Come on, let's go," he said. "The night's fallen, and the more dangerous creatures are about to come out. No need to be out here when they do."
But then Bulat's expression shifted as a mischievous grin spread across his face. "Also, when we arrive… would you like to take a bath with me?" he added, flashing one of his signature charming smiles.
A sudden wave of cold sweat trickled down Tatsumi's spine. His eyes widened as he saw Bulat take a step closer. "I-I think I'll just rest when we get back, brother. Otherwise, I might… uh, faint!" Tatsumi stammered, trying to back away.
But Bulat wasn't about to let him off so easily. "Then let me princess-carry you in my strong, muscular arms," Bulat said with a wink, his smirk growing wider.
Panic flashed across Tatsumi's face as he scrambled backward. "N-No thanks! I-I think I've regained enough strength to make it back myself!" he shouted, quickly turning on his heels and bolting in the opposite direction. "I'll wait for you at the base, brother!"
"Haha, you can't escape from me today!" Bulat laughed heartily as he sprinted after Tatsumi, his heavy footsteps pounding the ground as he closed the distance.
"I-I'm good!" Tatsumi yelled over his shoulder, his heart racing as he desperately tried to outrun the looming threat of a 'muscular princess carry'.
Bulat's booming laughter echoed through the mountains as the two raced through the foggy path, Tatsumi running for his life and Bulat chasing him with all the enthusiasm of a man who simply wanted to bond with his 'little brother'.
Together, the duo made their way back toward the Night Raid base, their antics cutting through the tension of the day.
A/N: How did you guys find the chapter? Did you enjoy Bulat's interaction with Tatsumi? Was I able to capture their bond like it was in the anime and manga? I really tried my best to portray Bulat's beliefs from my perspective. And don't worry, from the next chapter onwards, the story will pick up, and we'll finally see what happened with Budo!
[Also, this chapter is nearly 2000 words long]