Auri closed the lid of the laptop and sighed. She had just finished going through her timetable with Sharon. Her phone rang and she looked at the screen. She saw who was calling and scowled. It was her mother. She let the phone ring until it went to voicemail. Her mother often tried to call her now and then but she was not in the mood. They did not have a good relationship. They never did. Her mother was trying to revive a relationship she had flushed down the toilet over and over again. She was sure nothing her mother offered her would make up for years of repeated abandonment.
She got up and began going through her wardrobe. She had her first day the next day. She would need to stay there overnight and maybe come back here a few times a week. She doubted she would have the time. There were fittings, photoshoots, video shootings and choreographies she had to learn. She would be busy. She would also be getting skin treatments, manicures and more.
She turned her head as she heard a knock on her front door door. She frowned as she went to the door. She opened it without checking the door cam and regretted it immediately.
"What do you want?" Auri asked her mother wearily.
They were going to fight. She just knew it. She did not have the energy for it.
"Is that a way to greet your mother?" Lucia asked her daughter as she blew her copper hair out of her face.
Auri knew for sure that colour came out of a bottle. Her mother had chocolate brown hair.
"When was the last time you were an actual mother to me?" Auri asked as she walked back into the house and towards her bedroom.
"That's not fair," Lucia told her daughter as she followed her on her heels.
"What are you doing?" her mother asked as she saw the suitcase and scattered clothes
"I got a job," Auri said as she eyed her mother with her hands folded in front of her.
"I don't see why you are packing," her mother said carefully, "How far are you going?"
"I need to be closer to the agency," Auri said, "So not far enough."
"Agency," her mother said a different note in her voice.
"Did you say agency?" she asked again.
"It's more of a fashion corporation," Auri tried to correct herself.
Her mother scoffed and Auri could feel her hackles rise.
"I am a model now," she informed her mother.
"A model," her mother repeated with a raised brow, "Since when?"
"Since I started," Auri said and bent down to continue packing.
"Modelling is not a career," her mother said stiffly.
Auri paused and straightened up.
"You did it," she crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at her mother.
"I was young, dumb and misguided," her mother shot back her voice rising.
"I am neither of those things!" Auri's frustration and hurt were palpable.
Why couldn't her mother be happy for her and supportive just once? Couldn't she be just there for her? Just once would it kill her?
"I know you are finding yourself," Lucia's voice was softer as she tried to reason with her daughter.
"I know myself," Auri cried, "You're the one who needs to find me!"
You don't know me! She mentally screamed. You don't make an effort to know me!
"Look honey," Lucia made to walk towards her daughter but Auri took a big step back.
"I am trying to help you," Lucia said and her heart broke as Auri shook her head.
"No," Auri shook her head, "You are not listening."
"Okay," her mother acted as if she was talking to a spooked horse, "Okay, I will listen. What is going on?"
"I got a contract with French Red," Auri said and waited as she watched her mother's eyes go wide.
"Why didn't you tell me?" her mother finally asked.
"We don't talk," Auri reminded her mother.
"I am trying!" her mother cried.
Auri rolled her eyes. What was the use of trying now when Auri did not need her anymore? What was the use of a relationship now? It was too late.
"I don't care," Auri informed her mother, "It's too late now."
"Ririe, please!" her mother pleaded.
"Don't call me that!" Auri snapped, "Don't you ever call me that! I needed you when I had my first period, you were not there. I needed you when I broke my arm, you were not there. When I won my academic awards, you were not there. Mother's Day, you were not there. On my birthdays, you were not there. When Dad died, you were not there."
"I was trying to build a life for us you were used to," Lucia told her daughter.
"I never asked for that!" Lucia told her mother, "I called you and begged you to visit. You did not. You flushed whatever bond we were supposed to have. You abandoned me."
She had never cared then. Did she even care now? She knew nothing about her. She had left her for long bouts of time and never came back unless it suited her. She had no one on this earth Mara. But she might never have Mara ever again. She did not have Mara now. But Mara had her.
"I didn't," Lucia's voice was husky, "I love you. I've always cared about you."
Auri snorted bitterly.
"You never did. You never even sought me out before and should not have started now," Auri walked towards her front door and opened it.
"Please leave," she said.
"Aurelie," Lucia pleaded.
"Just leave, please!" Aurelie firmed her jaw.
"I'm sorry," Lucia said as she slowly walked past her daughter, "I'm sorry, baby."
Aurelie responded but shutting the door on her bum.
She could feel the pain in her heart. She wanted to back down just so her mother could smile. She wanted her mother to look at her with pride.
She steeled herself. Her mother was no one to her. She only had Mara. She wanted Mara to have justice. She wanted Mara to be by her side. She had wanted her mother to be a full-time mother to her once. She had given up. She knew that she couldn't have what she wanted.
But I can have what's within my power and capabilities, she thought with a hard look forming in her eyes.
She went back to her wardrobe and took out all her clothes.
Outside the apartment, her mother seemed to deflate. She had tears in her eyes. Her head was hung as were her shoulders. She wrung her hands as she walked away from the door. There was sadness and regret in her eyes as each step she took increased the distance between herself and her daughter. She did not know how she could mend her relationship with her daughter. She did know what she could do to earn the girl's love again. She had let her little girl go and hoped she would come back.
***
Auri rolled her suitcase through the marble flooring. She paused in front of the door that was to her apartment and put in the code. Little had yet to show her how to change it. She did not think she wanted to. She feared if she did, she would forget the new code. Or do something as stupid as input her birthday and probably forget that too.
The lock mechanism clicked open and she opened the door. She rolled her cases into the apartment and closed the door behind her.
Auri felt like a dark cloud was closing in on her. She mentally shook out the thought and rolled her cases to the master bedroom. She left them in a corner and slumped on the bed. She was exhausted and she had a big day ahead of her. She had not had dinner and did not feel like it. She closed her eyes hoping for a few minutes of rest.
She was knocking on the doors of sleep when a sound made her open her eyes. She listened. There was nothing for a few seconds and she heard it again. It was a doorbell. She slowly got up and looked at herself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror at the edge of the bed. She looked tired. Her hair was a little dishevelled. Her short summer dress looked a little crushed. She grimaced at her reflection as she ran her fingers through the long black locks. The doorbell went off again and she began moving towards the door.
Who the fuck can it be at this hour? Her muddled brain asked as she made her way to the door.
She reached the door and peeked through the peephole. It was Nicolas. She was instantly wide awake. Why was he here? She took a deep breath and counted to three as she got into character. Auri opened the door with a curious expression on her face.
Her brief glance at him through the peephole had not prepared her for how good he looked in his sweats and a tee shirt. His hair was a little damp and it flopped around his face. He smiled at her and her insides melted.
"Hello neighbour," he said by way of greeting.
Is this when he starts seducing me? Auri wondered tiredly.
She noticed he had in one hand a plastic bag with the logo of a fast-food company.
"Good evening," Auri replied with a deliberately shy smile.
What do you want? She thought grumpily.
Her stomach chose that moment to embarrass her by demonstrating how loud it can get if not fed. Nicolas smirked as she flushed. Her embarrassment was not fake now.
"It's a good thing I brought food," he raised the bag up to eye level.
"Do you have any allergies?" he asked.
"No," Auri's throat felt dry now.
Was this his ticket into her apartment? If he came in and wanted into her panties, would she be able to fight him off?
Auri's smile felt plastic as she wondered just why he was there. Did he want to be invited in? Was he expecting a "nightcap" invitation?
"Good," Nicolas voiced as he extended the bag to her and she tentatively accepted it.
She looked from his face to the bag. Waiting. Warry.
"I know there is no food in your fridge," he explained with a lift and drop of his shoulders, "Take this to tidy you over for the night or save it for breakfast and then we can get food to you tomorrow afternoon at the latest."
Auri gave him what she hoped was a grateful smile. But he was already walking off.
"I hope you settle in well," he called out over his shoulder.
That's it? She wondered with a hint of relief.