- Nina, bring the meat here already!
I was startled with my dad's sudden yelling. I was waiting mom to prepare the meat for the barbecue. I take the plate and walk towards my dad. He was smoking while talking about last night's match with my uncles.
- Here.
He looked at me with an annoyed expression. As he took the plate from my hand he says;
- Stop slacking off and help your mom.
- ...Alright.
Before I turn back he gets closer to me and say;
- And at least try to look happy, you're making everyone uncomfortable.
I force a smile which in return he just scoffs and start putting the meat on the barbecue. I turn and go back to the table where my mom was cutting the meat into smaller pieces. I find a place to sit next to my aunt who was helping my mom. She was surprised when she noticed I grabbed a knife and a cutting board and say;
- Hey, your mom and I are more than enough to do that. You should just go and have fun.
I just look at her with my forced smile and say;
- It's fine. It'll be faster this way. Then we can go and play in the sea.
- You really love the sea,huh? Alright then, you're going to cut it like this-
I watch her as she shows me how to do it and I start copying her after that. Even though we are here to celebrate my acceptance into one of the most prestigious highschools in the country, I was the only one who wasn't having fun. The reason for that was the fact that my family just used that as an excuse to get together. I didn't even like having barbecue and I didn't like being around crowds. They didn't care about what I would like but since they all like having barbecue, I had to go along with their plan. Just like always I was the only one who was expected to help mom, my sister who was six years older than me was gossipping with our older cousins who were all women in their twenties in a far corner. I could hear their laughs and sometimes their loud reactions. It used to annoy me a lot, but I got used to it already. My brother who was a year younger than me was playing soccer with the other cousins who were all boys and men from the age of 12 to 28. So the only ones who weren't included in either of those groups were me, my aunt's 6 months old baby and my uncle's pre-teen daughter. She was too immersed in her phone playing a game.
Finally after a long time we are having the barbecue, there isn't a moment of silence and everyone is having conversations with each other which causes the baby to cry. Ugh- my head is starting to hurt... Everything is just too chaotic.
I manage to grab my bag and slip away. I change into my swimsuit and dive into the sea. Though maybe diving so quickly wasn't a good idea since I just ate and the water was cold. After I get used to the temperature I swim for a while to get further away from the people. When I reached a spot where I couldn't hear anything but the sea I start floating on my back. The sea is calm and the sun is really warm, the sky is bright blue and there are no clouds in sight. I close my eyes, this the most peaceful I felt today, away from all the chaos. The thought makes me smile. Maybe coming here wasn't a bad idea after all.
I just float and let the waves take me away for a while. When I opened my eyes I noticed that I was near the caves now. We often avoided getting close to the caves because it might be dangerous, but I always wondered about how it looked inside the caves. The big cave on the right was covering a part of the sea like a ceiling. I didn't know how far it was but just this once I decided to go there. I looked around for a bit, I was already too far from the beach and there wasn't anyone around. I started swimming into the cave. The inside of the cave was quite wide and the sea was surrounded with big rocks. It almost looked like there was a lake inside the cave. Looking further ahead I noticed there were tunnels inside the cave. Since I am already here I can explore a bit, right? Plus I'm getting tired, so it'd be good if I get some rest here.
I swim a bit more and notice the sea wasn't getting shallower, so I had to climb on to a rock. Just when I was finally out my feet slipped and I started losing my balance. Of course you would slip you idiot, you are still wet and you even splashed some water on the rocks while you were climbing... I have no choice but to accept my fate, as it was the result of my own stupidity. But then a hand grabbed my arm and pulled me.
- Are you alright? You didn't get cut, right?
The one who's holding me is a boy around my age. He is so handsome, it's almost hard to believe that he is a human. His hair was slightly wavy, like it had just started drying. He has light-silver hair or maybe it's platinum blonde, the inside of the cave was a bit darker so I couldn't tell exactly. Whatever his hair colour was it fit him perfectly, the colour contrasts perfectly with his tanned skin. A silly thought came into my mind then; what if he was a merman? I wanted to confirm it by looking at his legs but I was just looking at his face in a daze. He has green eyes were shining so brightly, it was impossible for me to confuse it with any other colour. He has asian eyes with monolids, it was the first time I saw someone green eyed with monolids. His nose has a high brigde which made me think that he might be mixed. His lips weren't big and they weren't thin, I could say they looked normal if it was someone else. But they looked perfect on his face. He has a sharp jawline and-
- Did you hit your head? Come sit here, I'll take a look.
I was so lost looking at his face I forgot to answer his question. He lightly pulled my arms and took me to a place that was dry. He started checking my head if there were any cuts or something. It is really embarassing to be treated like this. There is no way I could say I was captivated by his beauty and froze. So I said the only thing I could think of;
- Uh, I was swimming for quite a while before coming here. It's probably just because I was tired and I was in the sun too much.
- Is that so? Then you should lie down for a while. I'll go get some water for you.
- ...Thanks.
I slowly lie down and look at the ceiling of the cave, I immediately forgot the reason I came here as soon as I saw him. The inside of the cave was a bit chilly, there were lots of stalactites hanging from the ceiling. I turn to look at the tunnels, there are two bigger tunnels and several smaller tunnels. Suddenly I see the boy coming out from one of the bigger caves, looking from afar his body is pretty toned. He is tall and has broad shoulders, he could be a professional swimmer. Oh and he has human legs and not a merman's tail. He smiled at me when he saw me looking at him;
- Sorry, I made you wait.
- No, I was just curious about the caves.
He handed me the water bottle and sat next to me, I thanked for the bottle and drank from it. Then he asked;
- Is it the first time you came here?
- Yeah, I never knew there were even tunnels inside.
He suddenly looked really down, I wonder if I said anything wrong? Was he upset because I never came into the caves before? Why would he though? We only met a few minutes ago. He is looking into my eyes like he is searching for something. After a while that felt like a decade he says;
- So you... really don't remember me, Nina?
His eyes weren't so bright anymore, the light in his eyes dimmed to a flicker and a single tear fell from his right eye. I don't know why but seeing him looking at me with an expression like that made my heart sank and it felt heavy, like my heart was being squeezed. Did I really forget him? Was he someone important to me? He knew my name already, so it is possible that he really knows me. But if so why how could I forget him? I want to tell him that he is wrong, I want to comfort him and wipe away his tear.
- No I-
I suddenly gasp and start panting. What happened just now? Did I forget to breathe? Why is suddenly so dark? Did the ceiling of the cave collapsed? But I didn't hear anything. Where is the boy? Is he alright? I can't see anything.... I blink quickly for a minute or so and as my eyes adjust the darkness I recognize the familiar ceiling. I was in the bed, in my room. I slowly sit up in the bed. The gut wrenching feeling is still there, my heart still feels like it's being squeezed. Where is the boy? I look around but all I see is the empty room. He's not here...
I let out a big sigh. I see, so that was just another vivid dream... Even though it felt so real. Now I was all alone in my room, it suddenly felt so empty in my heart. Why am I here? I should be with him and comfort him- I couldn't even wipe his tear. But now I was also crying. I feel so heartbroken, because of a boy I saw in my dream. Ah, I should have known, he was too perfect to be real... Yet I never know when it's a dream. I wonder just how many times I woke up feeling heartbroken, I wonder how many times have I grieved for people who aren't even real...