* * *
The first time Onsaemiro realized about 'difference' was in elementary school.
As I grew up and thought about it, the difference was 'class'.
"I said I was going to Busan this summer!"
"I'm Japanese!"
"I went there in winter!"
There were two types of people in the world.
Those who go on vacation with their families and those who do not.
Onsaemi was skeptical about this, so she told her parents that she wanted to go on a trip, but was met with cold-faced insults.
And then I found out exactly.
There are not those who travel and those who do not.
People are divided into those who can travel and those who cannot.
And Onsaemiro's house was clearly the latter.
Because I was extremely poor.
I don't really want to think about what happened after that.
The poverty of the family was not a problem that a teenage boy could overcome, so nothing changed as he got older.
The only thing that changed was that at some point, Onsaemi became someone who poured water into the pit of poverty.
Instead of studying, I was busy working part-time jobs.
'I have nothing.'
Onsaemiro always thought that way.
He was poor, uneducated, and had no love from his family.
During my school days, there was a time when I filled my self-esteem with my appearance, but that quickly ended.
There are things you automatically learn when working in a construction field.
Whether you lost your face in a work accident, lost your youth due to endless misfortune, or lost your vitality in despair.
Looks don't last that long.
So, when construction workers often said, 'I used to be as good-looking as you when I was young,' I would secretly laugh at them.
It didn't make any difference to your class, so why on earth are you jealous?
On Saemi-ro realized his talent late in life.
That's right, it was a song.
He had no idea, but he had a talent for singing that was commensurate with the amount of misfortune he had been given.
From then on, I wanted to become a singer.
Rather than desperately wanting to sing, I wanted to escape from here somehow.
It wasn't that difficult to pass the agency's trainee audition.
Although he was dark-skinned, he had a nice face and great singing skills.
However, while moderate poverty is the spice of Cinderella's story, extreme poverty deprives her of the role of Cinderella.
While working part-time, I missed practice, worked hard under the scorching sun, and was fired from my agency.
Four letters: bad attitude.
It was unfair.
If you really had a bad attitude, you wouldn't have spent expensive money on sunscreen.
Even though I got caught and scolded by my parents, I wouldn't have secretly applied it.
Because that was the only management he could do.
When this happened several times, all that was left for Onsaemiro were a few newly learned songs and a few choreographies to dance to.
Around that time, I found out about Coming Up Next and auditioned.
Surprisingly, I passed.
Of course, the author was more interested in misfortune than his singing skills, but it didn't matter.
It was a program to debut the take scene, and Team B's participants would be used as kindling for viewership ratings, but it didn't matter.
Because you will be paid an appearance fee.
However, the broadcasting station appearance fee was less than expected, and it was impossible to make a living on that amount.
In the end, when I thought it was a repeat of the same thing, PD Kang Seok-woo showed mercy.
We consider you to be the main participant of Team B.
We will advance the appearance fee as much as you want, so let's confirm the appearance first.
That's how Onsaemiro joined Coming Up Next, and for the first time in his life, he had expectations about the future.
I think my life will be different in the future.
But then.
Han Si-on appeared.
When I heard Han Si-on's song, my first thought was that it was unfair.
What kind of life have you lived to be able to do something like that so easily?
Have you never experienced any difficulties in life and lived only for music?
"I said I wasn't a trainee. "I'm not affiliated with any agency."
"yes."
"How much do you practice singing a day?"
"I think it's about eight hours."
At first I thought that might be the case.
And I thought that if I worked hard, I would be able to catch up.
If talent comes in proportion to the size of misfortune, there is no way you can be worse than Han Si-on.
So, after listening to
Because it's a song with a similar texture.
But it was a complete defeat.
What was even more embarrassing than losing was that Han Si-on had no feelings for him.
There wasn't even a sense of competition.
"why?"
"You're good at singing, right?"
"That… … "You're better at it."
"Who said this? "It's not like we've even sung the same song."
Otherwise, I wouldn't have given up the main vocal role so easily.
After that, On Sae-mi developed a sense of competition with Han Si-on, but the competition still did not come to fruition.
"What if you were greedy?"
"They must have competed. two of us."
"What do you think the result would be?"
"I guess I lost to you."
"Then isn't it a good thing? "You kept the main vocal, right?"
"Instead, I couldn't even compete and lost."
Si On Han was too high up and didn't even look down at himself.
Even
"Do you think it would be okay if I got off?"
"Isn't that true? why?"
"You don't know what's going on in the world. "It's not like the probability is 100%, but I don't think they really care."
"I believe it 100%."
"then… … I'm glad."
Nevertheless, PD Kang Seok-woo pushed Team B, or rather, the main character of 3 Months and 100 Days, to Hansion.
Unlike the original promise.
At that point, the sense of competition turned into jealousy.
I myself was hurt by those feelings.
Even the only talent you have is ultimately being used to compare yourself to someone else.
You shouldn't do that.
In the end, it's just a matter of making yourself miserable.
Fortunately, I was able to temporarily let go of my jealousy while preparing for
Because the stage was so good.
After the broadcast, the whole world revolved around Han Zion, and the number of malicious comments increased.
Onsaemiro lived her whole life being criticized by her parents, saying, "I became poor because of you," but she couldn't get used to it.
I couldn't get used to being criticized by my friends, saying, 'Why are you always asking me to borrow money?'
But Hansion was different.
"Thank you for your concern, but this is nothing."
"How can you be okay? "Other people's criticism."
"Take it as interesting. In a way, I manipulated people, right? "Because I made people like this who wouldn't have behaved like this if I hadn't been there."
I controlled it?
Your parents who yell that they wouldn't have been poor if it weren't for you?
Okay, maybe that's not wrong.
Because it really wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been there.
At that time, jealousy sprouted again, and the jealousy that reappeared was a little more damp.
Onsaemiro laughed at Han Si-on.
That's because I've never had a hard time in my life.
Obviously, if you encounter even the slightest difficulty, you will fall and not be able to get up.
That's what I thought.
But no.
"this person! A bastard who doesn't even know his father and mother! What did I do to your father... … !"
A person called Han Si-on's great-uncle came to the filming set.
"I had a car accident a few months ago."
Because I heard Han Si-on's story.
Lee Ion, Koo Tae-hwan, and Choi Jae-seong are better than Han Si-ion in just one aspect.
But I am not confident.
Even the size of the misfortune.
So what am I?
What is the meaning of existence?
"I don't think I should try to prove it."
"The feeling of having to prove my skills over and over again precedes the feeling of immersion in the song."
"It may be obvious, but take it easy."
How can that be?
I can't sleep because of the pressure to do well.
What if PD Kang Seok-woo asks for his money back because he didn't become the main character of 3 Months and 100 Days?
I really don't want to go back to the place where I have to go after Coming Up Next is over.
And I realized it while doing a photo shoot.
"I'll smile a little brighter. no! "Try to laugh sincerely!"
"Ah, it's really awkward no matter what I do."
That this is not the place for you.
I was just dreaming for a moment.
"Hey, you hate Han Si-on too."
So, he refused Fade's suggestion to work together to exploit Hansion's weaknesses.
Because it has no meaning anymore.
Even if it had meaning, I didn't want to reach that level of meanness.
However, somehow, Fade knew that he had received money from producer Kang Seok-woo.
Also being poor.
"Do you have no self-respect because you are a beggar? Are you going to keep picking on me?"
Onsaemiro was traumatized by being criticized by an adult man.
So I couldn't say anything.
If things had gone as planned, it would have ended here.
If you silently endure Fade's criticism, you'll get tired of your job and go home.
At least there won't be any violence on set, so it's not a big deal.
However, Han Shi-on saved him.
"Don't touch our members."
why?
Why did he get angry at Fade while leaving his great-uncle, who had caused such a fuss, alone?
Is this team actually precious?
Or do I have something useful to offer?
"no. I have no reason to stay at Ryan. "I will definitely debut within this year."
But no.
So I wanted to ask Onsaemiro before he quits everything.
"Can I beat you?"
* * *
Like a drunk person.
Or like a person going to confession.
I was quite taken aback when I heard On Saemi-ro's story being told without any hesitation.
I thought Onsaemi-ro was mentally unstable.
I often felt like I was overly conscious of myself.
But I had no idea that it was because of my words and actions.
In the meantime, there were countless singers who despaired after seeing my talent.
Of course, I wasn't happy about that.
Rather, it was sad.
My talent is a cheat acquired through countless hours of experience.
However, this is the first time I have seen a case where a singer even quits because of such despair.
Even someone as talented as On Saemi-ro.
Perhaps, for Onsaemiro, singing was the only means of self-esteem and the only escape from poverty.
But if you are that kind of person, you should especially not compare yourself to me.
I don't even deserve that comparison.
Nevertheless, I couldn't hastily comfort Onsaemiro.
Because I have never been poor.
Of course, there were times when I didn't have any money.
In the early days of my return when I was unable to manage my parents' property, there was a time when I had to beg for food because I had no money to buy food.
When I first moved to the United States, I was involved in an entertainment scam and my account was seized.
But if there was any reality to that poverty, of course it wasn't.
Because there is regression.
Regression When everything returns to zero in one move, this includes negative things as well.
If you can't solve your tangled life, you can cut it off.
So, it is deception and pretense to vaguely sympathize and offer vague consolation here.
It may put my mind at ease, but it is of no help to Onsaemiro, who will live in the world I left behind.
That's not what we need to do now... … .
"Hey, follow me."
This is something that is shown properly.
The place I was headed to Onsaemi was the studio where I had been working just a moment ago.