INTRO. prologue
I know that if I told someone, it would be a good idea to end up in a mental hospital, but... … .
I made a pact with the devil.
Thanks to this, we are repeating infinite regression to achieve the goal set by the devil.
So what is my goal?
Album sold 200 million copies.
Damn, I know.
Do you think I took some medicine?
I don't even believe that the devil exists, but that such a being cares about album sales and such.
But what… … .
Even if you don't believe it, there's nothing you can do.
Sometimes I think I'm crazy too.
Anyway, what I want to say now is that I have faced countless challenges.
Ballads, rock, hip hop, blues, alternative and even gospel.
I tried all kinds of genres.
It's not just singing.
Composing, producing, playing instruments such as keyboards or guitars... … .
I just did everything I could.
You guys called me a genius, but I'm not a genius.
A person with a bit of talent just sticks to one thing for a very long time.
Even I've been GOTM for decades.
So I think it's time to admit it.
GOTM was the best team and the best band I could ever create.
It was not enough to sell 200 million copies.
Oh, I'm definitely not saying you weren't good enough.
I told you. It's the best band.
I was lacking.
This is my first time leaving something like this before returning, so I feel like I'm rambling a bit.
I just wanted to say thank you to you all.
sincerely.
… … .
It's unfamiliar, so I guess I'll have to talk about something else.
What should we talk about?
Shall I tell you that I was on the same team with Dave three times before GOTM?
It's a bit better now, but when I first saw it, it was a sight to behold.
It was so boring.
I think the first time we met was at a drug addiction rehabilitation center in Chicago... … .
* * *
Sweet.
After finishing recording, Si-On Han stood up and pulled back the curtain.
The stunning night view of LA, which can only be seen at high-end hotels, welcomed him, but he was not impressed.
This life will end tomorrow.
And maybe in the next life... … .
"Damn idol."
I think I should try the thing I hated the most.
Album 1. Return again
-Grammy Awards Album of the Year! The glorious winner is... … !
-Gram Of The Minute!
-GOTM! congratulations!
The moment the band GOTM's name was called, the four men sitting next to Han Zion jumped up and cheered.
"Fucking Grammy! "We are Grammy winners!"
"What are you doing! leader! wake up!"
"Zion!"
The lights break and applause pours in along with the sound of music celebrating the award.
All glory spreads through the air.
But actually, Zion's face was grave.
Of course, people thought he was suppressing his emotions.
There's no way I wouldn't be happy.
How difficult was it for GOTM, which features Asian vocals, to become a success in the United States?
Meanwhile, Zion, who was on stage, looked at his friends and grabbed the microphone.
"Thank you so much. Everyone."
It was a greeting with a strange nuance.
As if this is the end.
"I will never forget it. "No matter how many more lives we live, there will never be a more perfect band than this."
People waited for Zion's words, but it was over.
He went down the stage without even looking at the award handed to him by the presenter.
The audience was momentarily taken aback by the unexpected situation, but soon became curious.
I thought it was a planned water performance.
Grammy's camera, which had similar thoughts, followed Zion's back... … .
He never came back.
"Zion!"
"leader!"
GOTM members belatedly came to their senses and set out to find their leader.
However, Zion was nowhere to be seen at Staples Center.
A few hours later, all they found was an old recording tape lying in Zion's dorm.
* * *
The time when members are looking for a leader.
Han Sion was at an intersection.
It wasn't common sense.
You've traveled more than 40 miles (64km) from Staples Center in just a few minutes.
Moreover, many drivers passing by on the road did not seem to recognize that there was someone standing in the exact center of the intersection.
Buaaaang-!
Even though a huge truck passed by, the hem of Zion's clothes did not move.
They were in different spaces.
Shion, who was looking at the cloudy sky with sunken eyes, lowered his head.
I see a boring phrase.
[Mission failed.]
At that moment, the ranges began to overlap.
There are intersections everywhere in the world.
There are probably hundreds of them in LA alone, and tens of thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands, across the United States.
How many would there be on the entire Earth?
All those intersections gathered around Zion and overlapped.
Color disappears.
When all colors are mixed, the final color is black.
When the whole world was covered in black.
[Return.]
He was nineteen again.
* * *
Beep-Beep-Beep-
Firefighters who responded at 3 a.m. were speechless at the horror of the scene of the incident.
Experienced firefighters can instinctively know whether it is the scene of an accident or a death the moment they arrive at the scene.
This was the scene of death.
A passenger car that collided with a truck at an intersection was crumpled beyond recognition.
"Quickly retrieve the body, identify the person… … ."
It was then.
The youngest firefighter who rushed to the scene shouted.
"I'm alive!"
Surprisingly, all three family members riding in the car were still alive.
The severity of the injuries was not serious compared to the level of the accident.
One boy who appeared to be in his late teens was even conscious.
"Heaven helped."
What happened next was a breeze.
Firefighters transported the injured to the hospital and cleaned up the accident site.
As the life-saving period ended, police and reporters arrived.
Now is the time to determine responsibility for the accident and make it an issue.
As the team leader prepared to withdraw, the youngest firefighter who first confirmed the survival of the casualties approached.
"Team leader, have you seen that boy?"
"I saw it."
"Isn't it strange? "How can you be so calm?"
"It was easier than crying and screaming."
"Anyway, that… … ."
"noisy."
But the team leader also felt reluctant.
Even while his parents in the driver's seat and passenger seat were bleeding profusely and passed out, the boy, who was conscious, was very calm.
He relayed the personal information of both parents to the fire brigade and even provided specific demands.
Please transfer me to a hospital in Seongnam.
My parents are doctors there.
That ridiculously calm appearance definitely made me feel uncomfortable.
The boy wasn't trying to stay calm.
It really seemed like nothing happened to this terrible accident and my parents' condition.
"… … "Stop talking nonsense and put a radio in the headquarters."
But the firefighters didn't know.
The boy, Han Si-on, had been through this same situation countless times, and now he had resigned himself to it.
Because this 'intersection' was the starting point of his regression.
* * *
"Patient Hansion. "How are you feeling?"
"it's okay."
"Is there a place that feels uncomfortable or foreign?"
"doesn't exist."
boring.
Date of accident, December 7, 2016.
Discharge date, January 6, 2017.
Schedule unchanged.
There is nothing I can do during the one month hospital stay.
Using future knowledge is only possible after you are discharged from the hospital and return to your daily life.
So, after starting regression, I am always tired of the hospital.
"Isn't that kid a little strange?"
"They said my parents were in a coma, but their attitude was a bit... … ."
"I heard that kid gives me a creepy feeling for no reason."
Of course, I know that my boredom and indifference seem like a monster to others.
But this whole situation had happened too many times to force myself to pretend to be sad.
Besides, there is no reason for me to be seen by the nurses or patients in the ward who are whispering… … .
"Oh, shit."
There is.
Now that I think about it, I have to debut in Korea in this life.
In the past, I went to the United States as soon as I was discharged from the hospital, but not this time.
The moment you become an idol, the opinions of those people may affect your image.
That night, I burst into tears in the hospital room.
Nurses rushed to me, startled by my cries, and gave me an IV for dehydration.
Because I deliberately didn't drink a single sip of water all day.
"They said it was because the shock was so severe. Until now, I couldn't accept it as reality... … ."
"In the first place, loss is not something that is immediately felt."
"There's no way it's okay. "I heard that both my parents became vegetative overnight."
"Oh, what a pity… … ."
Thanks to this, public opinion within the hospital changed dramatically.
A tiresome month passed, and the discharge date for what may have been the third time came.
"Zion. Be sure to call me as soon as you get home. Understand?"
"yes. Do not worry."
"Uncle will come straight to your house after work."
"are you okay. "You can't do that forever."
"still… … "I'll go today."
"all right."
The person who catches me on my way out of the hospital and pours out his worries is not my real uncle.
However, he is several times more precious than a relative who only covets the inheritance of his parents who are in a vegetative state.
Hyunsoo Kim.
My parents' junior in medical school and a doctor working at the same hospital.
A person who tries to represent their parents from the moment they are diagnosed as vegetative.
To be honest, there were many times when Uncle Hyunsu was annoying.
He calls me from time to time, visits me, and worries about me.
It was the same not only when I was in Korea, but also when I moved to the United States.
What number of regressions was this? … .
I think it was when I was playing guitar in Chicago, and I was a drug addict at the time.
He had become addicted to antidepressant drugs, which were prescribed as narcotics.
Well, it's a common thing in America.
However, when Uncle Hyunsu found out about this, he submitted a notice for leave.
And he followed me around all day as if I were a manager.
Until you stop taking the medication completely.
He is a grateful person and a consistent person.
I probably wouldn't have been able to survive the early days of my return if Uncle Hyunsu wasn't there.
"I'll call you."
"okay. But what is that in your hand? "It looks like a note?"
"Oh, I was just bored at the hospital, so I did some doodling. "What's the point of throwing it away?"
Uncle Hyunsu smiles.
"okay. Expressing your feelings is a good thing. "Your future dream is also to be a singer."
"It was like that."
"huh? not now?"
"no. I'm going to be a singer. "I don't know if it's because of hope."
"huh?"
"Anyway, uncle. Stop overeating. They say that if a person overeats too much, he or she develops reflux esophagitis."
"Hey, man. My uncle is a doctor. Reflux esophagitis is not caused by overeating but is chronic… … ."
"Anyway, eat it in moderation."
No matter how many times I say this, it doesn't change the fact that my uncle suffers from reflux esophagitis, but it was a habit.
After saying goodbye to my uncle, I got into a taxi.