"I am supposed to be at that meeting like yesterday." I mouth a string of curse words seeing a ball of hair come out on one especially hard tug. "Tanveer is going to kill me if I so much as breathe wrong—"
I stop mid-rant startled by Safi, who's been sitting at the breakfast table quietly reading her novel. She almost chokes on her toast as she slams the book shut and throws it on the counter with the fury of an angry activist.
"What's wrong with you!" There are mascara smudges on my left eyelid. "Haven't you been listening? I'm late for the meeting because I overslept—"
She cuts me off this time. "I cannot believe," she exaggerates the word 'believe'. "This stupid girl did not just accept that douchebag's offer to take her on a cruise after a few hours of meeting him. A cruise! How cliche, it's lame. If I got a coin for every time a girl fell for a man's mediocre attempt at wooing in a romance novel, I'd be as rich as temple priests." Another slam of the book and a loud thud on the table followed by a deep exhale.
She clearly did not listen to a word I'd said.
"My real job is on the line here and you're worried about some made-up guy swooping a damsel off her feet."
Safi ignores me once again only to continue her rant.
"He uses sweetheart as a word of endearment which— in the 21st century— counts as assault at best." Another slam of the book.
I close the lid of my mascara bottle, anger sitting at the tip of my nose.
"Safi! Are you listening to a word I said? I could lose my job," I huff, "I don't have time to worry about make-believe nonsense."
Safi turns around and looks at me while I'm still fixing my make-up.
"Make-belief nonsense describes this plot accurately." Her amusement dies a quick death as she finally picks up on my flaring temper. "Fine. I get it. You're not losing your job, so relax. Tanveer can barely go a day without you let alone giving you the ax, Aida. Yes, this deal is huge for her but you got this." She momentarily looks down at her smartwatch. "Except for being on time for this meeting. You can blame it on your one-night stand last night and exactly how many Tequila shots did you say you had?"
Safi's confidence in me lowers my apprehension. "It wasn't a one-night-stand if we only just made out. Besides, considering how the "date" went, I'd say it wasn't worth missing the meeting."
Now that I think about it, it'd be kinda nice if a rich, hot, tall guy called me sweetheart. Safi hadn't divulged whether the protagonist is, in fact, rich, tall, or hot but I'm familiar with the kind of books she reads.
Safi sips her coffee and picks up the book again as if she'd never thrown it away, "Is it weird that I want to read something realistic for a change?"
I stare at her reflection in the mirror, "You mean no cruises or helicopter rides? Is that even a genre?"
Safi turns her head again, facing me. Her black nerdy glasses sit fashionably at the tip of her rather pointed nose. She tilts her head at an anime-esque angle before she speaks. "I read these books and it makes me believe in love. It makes me feel something that's impossible to feel in the real world. Reality is messy and unpredictable. Too many variables and something can always go wrong. Reading books about characters that are "good enough" is slowly becoming a way to self-harm. When the book ends, the fantasy ends but the longing never fades away."
Her usual innocent-looking eyes are pitch black by the time she's done speaking. She lifts her hands up in the air and pushes both fists open as if revealing the final bit of a magic trick. "There's no prince charming out there and the same could be said about love. What if it's a mere buzzword and no one actually knows what it means? What if it was created to keep us stuck? To keep chasing an impossible dream?"
I dare not mention her breakup but an abject hate for romance might just be a delayed and unintended side-effect of heartbreak. It's a year later but there are some things one just simply does not come out of unscathed.
The philosophical pontification is too intense for early morning. "I have another date tonight so don't cook for me."
Safi's mood shifts as does her head. She reaches for her book again looking slightly disappointed. "You're going to hell for dating so many guys."
I join Safi at the table and fight the urge to rip the book away from her hands. I wonder why she keeps picking at that wound. Reading romance novels would only remind her of her ex; no good can come out of it now.
I don't take the book away from her but do my best to divert her attention. "It's technically not dating if we go on one date. I'm thinking it's a numbers game. I'm bound to meet the right one eventually. Besides, it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them."
"Most of them then. You totally skipped that dude who Facetimed his mother on the first date."
"I'm not sleeping with any of them! And don't bring up Garv. I am still traumatized."
Adarsh is Safi's only ex and the only boy she ever dated. She's not one to go around and play the field, so to speak, so her standards for what counts as virtuous or chaste are raised sky-high.
I sigh as deeply as my lungs allow. I might not have been in a serious relationship like Safi but we share the same contempt for our love life being at a standstill.
"Where are all the good guys," I slide onto the marble so my fingers reach Safi's toast. She tries swatting my hand away but I persist and grab hold of one. Baking is another one of her hobbies she picked up during the breakup. That's one example of how a bad thing can be a good thing.
"There are no "good" guys, that's the point. It's all made up. The real world only allows us to fit in someone's jagged edges but here we chase some impossible standard of perfection never truly arriving at the place we'd like to be."
Safi adjusts her glasses and opens the book again.
"Then how come you see all these couples on Instagram looking happy on a beach sipping cocktails, looking like they're straight out of a magazine cover?"
"Social media is equally, if not more, made up than fiction." She closes the book and puts it away then lies down next to me. "I don't believe people have it all. They do their gosh darn best to create the appearance of a picture-perfect reality but those ones are the most stuck of all. Reality is, and always will be, chaotic and unreasonable. Demanding above all else, acceptance."
The moment lingers.
"That's bleak, Safi. What's in your coffee?"
She bites her lip as if holding something back. I'm taken aback when she finally speaks.
"Does your date have a brother?"
I've never been on a double date and never one with Safi. I'm afraid her knee-jerk reaction might be to actually knee the guy if he's being a jerk. But it's an honest request and hard to turn down.
"I can ask my date." We don't speak further on the subject and let the bandaid rip in silence.
It's like we're suddenly reminded of something important at the same time. Both our eyes dart around the apartment.
I say it first. "Where's Athena?"
I don't have enough time to look for the cat so I leave the task to Safi. I have an entirely different battle to win.