His Mind Made Up
"I refuse to believe that Delauney has won!"
Nadir sighed and shut the book he was reading. Erik was sitting up in the small bed, his chest bare except for the white bandage covering his wound. He had been ranting all morning and Nadir had a headache. But Erik was determined to find some way to get to Christine. He refused to be away from her. Nadir could not worry about any of that, he had to worry about getting Erik back to his full health, which he was doing, slowly, because Erik would not be quiet for a moment and afforded Nadir no sleep at all.
"Christine will be fine, Erik, until you come up with a solution," Nadir said, trying to give Erik some reassurance. Erik said nothing. He was sure Christine was going to be fine, but he was not. She was pregnant with his baby and he knew she needed him to be there. She had been so frightened about raising the baby on her own and he had assured her that that would not happen. But he needed to be with her. His heart felt like someone was ripping it out of his chest each night he feel asleep without her. He needed to hold her once more, feel her lips on his, telling him everything was going to be alright despite what he looked like. She was the only one that did not flinch when he yelled or ranted, she simple yelled back, something he loved so much about her. He wanted to be there with her as the weeks slowly went by and her stomach began to swell, he knew she would glow in motherhood. She did not deserve all of this heartache and misery, this had not been her past, she had nothing to do with it and yet she was the one paying the biggest price.
"Nadir?"
Nadir looked up and met Desslar's gray green stare. He had become used to the sight of Erik's deformity and no longer flinched when he saw it. He could see that Erik was trying to say something and he looked like he was having quite a lot of trouble. Taking a deep breath he finally managed to speak.
"Thank you."
Nadir smiled.
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"Raoul? Can I talk to you?"
Raoul looked up to see Christine standing in the doorway. He smiled at her and hugged her close, deciding to ignore the slight frown of her face. He sat them both down and Christine said nothing for a long time. She looked down at her hands, as if she were trying to decide how she should say what she needed to say. Raoul felt an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach, as if he knew what she was going to say and he desperately did not want to hear it. For the past few days they had spent quite a lot of time together, walking in the gardens, talking over tea, and it had been a very happy time for Raoul. This was the woman that deep down he loved more than anything in the world, and she was willingly spending time with him.
"Raoul, what do you feel for me?" she whispered quite suddenly. To Raoul that was a loaded question. How was he supposed to answer her and not offend her in some way? If he were to tell her that he was in love with her what would she do?
"Christine, I-"
"Please answer, Raoul," she interrupted. She did not want to judge his actions without knowing for sure his intentions. He was a good man, and she loved him like a brother, and she would not see him hurt, even by herself. Raoul could not form words to say what he needed to say and Christine remained quiet, allowing him some time to think. She was in no rush. Really she had all the time in the world.
"Christine, you know I have cared for you for as long as I have known you," Raoul began. Christine waited, having known what it was he was going to say to her. He hesitated a moment longer before continuing.
"I think I am in love with you," he whispered. Christine closed her eyes and looked away from him, realizing that hurting him was now going to be inevitable.
"Raoul-"
"I know you might not feel the same way," he said sadly. Christine leaned forward and took Raoul's hands in her own. He had to look away from her tender touch.
"Raoul...perhaps in another time, and another place, I could have loved you," she whispered, needing him to believe that love was possible for him. He could not look in her in the eye and that hurt her deeply.
"But I found my soul mate...Erik and I were meant to be together," Christine continued.
"He is gone, Christine," Raoul said, needing to believe that there was hope for him and her. Christine felt tears filling her eyes by his words, not cruel, but still managing to hurt her deeply. This man did not need to remind her of the fact that Erik was gone. There was not a moment that went by in a whole day that she did not think about him, not a single moment she did not feel like crying because he was gone forever. All she had to do was touch her stomach and she was once more flooded with images of the man she loved. No, she did not need Raoul to remind her. She stood up, her face having become angry, and Raoul immediately realized his mistake.
"Christine, wait-"