She was a strong woman but his silence was torturing her. Erik desperately wanted to say something but his mind was numb, stopping him from forming any sort of coherent sentence. Christine clasped her hands in front of her when she felt them begin to tremble.
She had been so afraid to tell him, she had refused to think about it because she was afraid that he would not want the baby and she did not know what she would do if that were the case. She was scared of bringing a child into this world because she did not know if she would be a good enough mother. She had never had to take care of another human being before and the idea frightened her.
"Erik..." Christine whispered desperately. Erik could hear the fear and uncertainty in her voice. She was afraid he would reject the baby, tell her that now was not the right time to have a child. On feet weighed down with uncertainty he walked to her and wrapped his arms around her. Christine collapsed against him, her hands clutching frantically at his shirt.
"Please reconsider what you are doing, Erik, please," she whispered.
"Christine-"
"I cannot raise this baby on my own," she whispered. Erik pressed his face into her hair, taking a deep, calming breath.
"No one said you had to raise this baby, my love," he murmured reassuringly. Christine felt tears beginning to form in her eyes.
"I cannot let you go there, Erik, knowing that you might never come back! Please understand this! I cannot lose you!" she cried softly. Erik sighed. He had to go and finish something that should have been completed long before he had ever met Christine.
The fact that Christine was pregnant made him even more determined than ever because now he not only had her to protect, but their unborn child. And he would not let anyone hurt the family he had waited for so desperately; for so long.
"I have to do this...it is the only way," he murmured. Christine pulled away from him, now desperate to do or say anything to make him stay. Tears were silently flowing down her pale cheeks. Erik watched the desperation take over the look in her eyes.
"If you go I cannot promise that I will be here waiting for you," she whispered.
"You do not mean that," he whispered. Christine swallowed back the sobs that threatened and nodded.
"You will not leave me," Erik insisted.
"I will if you leave me and go to that manor," she whispered. Erik walked to her angrily and grabbed her, yanking her against him. His mouth landed on hers with passionate frenzy.
Christine felt her knees go weak with the force of his kiss; unable to stop her response to the man she loved. The strong, warm body pressed against hers, the unique smell that would forever fill her senses, the tender way he held her, all of this made up the man that she would move mountains for if given the chance. And yet he was hurting her with his need to go and seek revenge. He pulled away so their breath still mingled and he could look into her eyes.
"We have this, Christine. We have the passion and the love, you will not leave that, you need me just as much as I need you," he murmured, his voice cracking because if she were to leave him he would lose his grasp on reality.
Christine closed her eyes, trying to block out everything: the sound of his voice, the feel of his hands, the rhythmic beating of his heart against her hand.
She did need him, more then she would ever be able to explain. What other man would be able to stand her temper and heated arguments, and still love her even after arguing for hours? They were one in the same, both just wanting to belong to someone, to hold another persons heart.
Erik rested his hand on Christine's stomach, still marveling at the fact that she was going to bear his child. There was nothing else in the entire world that he wanted more then to have a family with Christine.
"I need to protect you and the baby, love, please do not make this harder then it already is for me," Erik said.
Christine no longer had the strength to fight him over this. For once his stubbornness would win over hers. She moved away from him and went to the bed they had spent many hours making love in and laid down on it, resting her hand on her stomach and closing her eyes.
"Christine-"
"Go, Erik! The sooner you leave the sooner you will come back!" she pleaded. Erik rushed to her side and kissed her, and continued to kiss her until there was no doubt in either of their minds about their love for one another.
When he pulled away he turned from the sight of her tear stained eyes and silently left the room. Christine pressed her face into her pillow, muffling the scream she emitted and the tears that would not stop. She knew she had told him that she would leave if he was to go, but they both knew that she could never do that. She loved him to much to even try.