Diary,
It has been so long since I have seen Erik. I miss him terribly and pray every night to God that he is safe and in a warm place. I know he left us because he was ashamed of his face but I wish he knew that we loved him none the less. He had one of the biggest hearts I had ever known and I know that for as long as I live I will never meet another human being like him. He was truly one of a kind. I wish he could have seen how big Anthony is getting and how beautiful my daughter Christine is. He would have adored Christine, I am sure of it. Gustave is good to me and I love him with all of my heart. I know that Nadir was the man I should have been with but I ruined that and I will never be with him. I hope God knows that I tried to live my life as well as I could...regret is not a good feeling to have. If I continued to look back at the past and regret my actions I would slowly go insane. The only thing I can do is look toward the future and hope I do not make the same mistakes twice.
Emm
"No!" Christine's cry echoed in the suddenly quiet room. Anthony said nothing, although his eyes did hold a new appreciation for his sister's husband. Erik also said nothing as Christine frantically grabbed onto his hand. It was the only way. He needed to end this once and for all. There would be no more running, no more looking over his shoulder.
"There has to be another way, Erik, please think logically!" Christine said, hating the fact that she knew there would be no way to talk her husband out of this. He was almost as stubborn as she was and when he had his mind set on something he did not let it go.
"There is no other way, Christine, you and I both know this," Erik said. Christine refused to believe this and glanced at her brother, begging him to give them some time alone. Anthony understood and he silent removed himself from the room. Erik took Christine's hand and led her to the bed, carefully sitting them both down on it.
"Erik..." Christine whispered, her voice pleading.
"I do not want to forever worry that you are going to get hurt for something you never had any part of. We need to end this Christine," he said softly. Christine pulled away from his grasp and went to the window to look out into the quiet city of Rome.
How could she tell him that if anything happened to him she did not know what she would do? She finally had someone she loved and who loved her in return and he wanted to risk all of that. Erik came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Christine's body, however, remained stiff and unyielding.
"Tell me what I can say to make you stay," she whispered. Erik sighed and pressed his face into her hair. She had no idea how hard it was for him to hold her like this and no that he would have to let go in order to get done what needed to be done.
"I cannot continue to run, my love," he whispered. She spun around in his arms to face him, her eyes full of tears.
"I would run to the ends of the earth with you, Erik, as long as you were with me!" she cried, collapsing against his chest. Erik admitted that he was surprised with the way she was acting. Christine was a strong woman, she did not break down easily, which proved to him how much she did not want him to go. He kissed her tear stained face several times, trying to calm her down without saying a word.
"I am doing this for us, Christine. Please understand," he asked softly.
"They will kill you," Christine said, clinging to him as if he would evaporate should she let go.
"Do not think like that," he pleaded. The idea of not returning to her was something he refused to think about. Christine looked down at the ground. How could she not think about him dying when he was going to confront two men who would do anything to see him dead. Erik took her chin in his hand and raised it so he could meet her gaze.
"When I come back I am not going to leave your bed for two days," he murmured, trying to lighten the mood.
Christine continued to stare at him with a great sorrow in her eyes. He had never seen her this sad. Deciding that there was only one way to keep her mind off the separation he gently pushed the robe from her body. Christine sighed when he pressed his mouth against her collarbone, knowing all to well what he was doing.