The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead as I forced myself to walk past her desk, the scent of jasmine and something uniquely Lina wafting toward me, tugging at my core. It was a daily battle, this urge to stop by, to hover and engage in trivial conversation just for the sake of lingering in her presence. But every step taken was a victory against my own desires, a silent mantra repeating in my head: do not visit her, do not visit her.
From the corner of my eye, I caught Rawson, his smile all charm and guile, leaning casually against her cubicle. He was handing her a tea, that same stupid grin plastered on his face—the one he thought could win over anyone. Seeing him there, trying to worm his way into her life, it clawed at my insides, igniting an anger that simmered beneath the calm exterior I presented to the world.
"Got you your favorite," I heard Rawson's silky voice as I passed by without stopping. His laughter, mixed with hers, left a sour taste in my mouth. My hands clenched into fists at my sides, nails digging into my palms as an attempt to anchor myself to the here and now, not the chaotic swirl of emotions threatening to overcome my senses.
It didn't help that Leon had been flaunting his newfound happiness around the office like some badge of honor. Ever since he got together with...her, the air seemed charged with his joy. The lavish lunches he brought back to the office, the designer clothes draped effortlessly over his frame, they were all signs of someone who couldn't hide their contentment if they tried. And why would he? Love had made him foolishly generous, a stark contrast to my brooding restraint.
I pressed on toward my own office, the door closing behind me with a click that sounded too final, too much like the shutting away of possibilities. Alone in the quiet, I let out a long breath I didn't realize I'd been holding, the cool glass of the window pressing against my forehead as I sought to quell the storm within.
"Focus, Alarick," I muttered to myself, attempting to channel my energy into the workload that never seemed to dwindle. But even the mundane tasks couldn't pull me from the thoughts of her, or the irksome display of Rawson's pursuit, or the infectious glee of Leon's love-struck extravagance. It was a trifecta of torment, each part feeding into a cycle that left me restless and yearning for a resolution that seemed as distant as the stars outside my window.
The memory of the engagement party lingered like a shadow, dark and unshakeable. I found myself across from Laila, her eyes narrow with concern as I laid bare the events that had driven me to a half shift. Without telling her I was talking about me. Her office smelled of antiseptic and herbs—a testament to her dual role as family and healer.
"Pure jealousy can do strange things," I began, my voice low, "it can push someone past their limits, blurring the lines of control."
Laila listened intently, her fingers steepled beneath her chin. "And you think this... emotional turmoil caused a half shift?" she prodded, skepticism threading her tone. She was a scientist at heart, always searching for empirical evidence in a world of myths and moonlit transformations.
"Exactly." The word felt heavy, burdened by the truth I couldn't fully disclose. "An intensity so fierce it forces the wolf out, halfway at least."
"Unheard of," she murmured, shaking her head. "Ever since the mate bond faded from our pack, such extremes of transformation haven't been seen." Her gaze searched mine, looking for the lie or exaggeration, but finding none. "This person you're talking about must be from another pack, Alarick. No one here could manage that, not without serious consequences."
Her words were meant to be reassuring, yet they left me hollow. If even Laila, with all her knowledge, dismissed the possibility, where did that leave me? A freak amongst my own kin?
But there was no time to dwell on the impossibility of my situation; duty called. As I strode through the office corridors later that afternoon, the scent of Lina's perfume wafted through the air, tantalizing and unwelcome. It mingled with the bitter tang of Rawson's cologne as I neared his office, igniting something primal within me.
"Stay away from her," I growled, barely recognizing my own snarl as I confronted Rawson. He leaned back in his chair, smirking, clearly undeterred by my warning.
"Or what, Alarick? You'll lose your cool again?" His words struck a nerve, echoing my own fears.
I stormed out, feeling the change clawing its way to the surface. By the time I reached the safety of my own office, my hands were shaking, fangs pressing against my lower lip, the beginnings of a pelt prickling my skin. Another half shift, provoked by mere proximity and heated words.
"Control," I whispered, forcing my wolf down. "You must control this." But it was a command easier spoken than obeyed.
Averting my gaze from the reflection that betrayed my inhuman features, I made the decision then and there—avoid Lina at all costs. It was a resolve lined with agony, knowing that each step taken away from her was a piece of myself left behind. Yet, it was a pain I would endure. For what choice did I have, when even the thought of her threatened to unravel the fragile threads holding me together?
Coco knocked on the slightly open door. "Alarick, your afternoon appointment is already waiting for you. Do you need another minute?"
"No, I'm alright," I answered not leaving room for distrust. Did she see me? I wondered.
Coco closed the door behind her as she left my office, leaving me alone to gather my thoughts once more.
I kept my head low and my steps silent as I navigated the maze of cubicles, the constant thrum of office life buzzing around me. Papers shuffled, keyboards clicked, and phones rang with a rhythm that was usually comforting, but today it felt like a cacophony designed to drown out my own racing thoughts.
Every fiber in me strained for a glimpse of Lina, yearning to witness the way she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear or the focused furrow of her brow as she concentrated on her work. It was a desire that gnawed at me, insistent and unyielding, even as I forced myself to veer away from the path that would lead me past her desk.
"Control," I muttered under my breath, a mantra to steady the roiling emotions inside me. The image of her smiling face danced behind my eyelids, and I had to clamp down on the urge to seek her out, to simply bask in her presence.
Instead, I found myself stealing covert glances through the glass walls of the offices as I passed by, each peek a mixture of torment and relief. I imagined her eyes widening with realization, her voice softening with understanding as she learned about the world hidden within our own. The thought of her acceptance was both a balm and a poison, soothing yet far too dangerous to indulge.
"Maybe she was my mate," I whispered to no one, the words a secret hope that fluttered in my chest despite everything I knew. Our pack had lost the mate bond long ago; such connections were myths, stories we told our pups. Yet here I was, grappling with feelings that defied explanation, tethered to a woman who should have been nothing more than a coworker.
As the day wore on, I found my resolve hardening. I couldn't risk another incident. Not when my very nature threatened to erupt at the slightest provocation, spurred by a jealousy I had no right to feel. But as I slipped into my office and closed the door behind me, sealing myself away from her, I couldn't help but wonder if fate had something else in store—a destiny that involved Lina and an impossible bond that I couldn't quite bring myself to deny.