Walking through the calm night of the Forbidden City, Ru Lingyi's state of mind was anything but calm as she assisted Consort Xian back to Chengqian Palace. Her brow furrowed, her lips pressed into a thin line. She fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve, her gaze darting nervously around the courtyard. She was so lost in thought that she nearly tripped over a loose paving stone. The weight of the evening's events pressed down on her, each step a struggle. If anyone had told Lingyi, that her well-crafted rescue plan she had in mind all these while to uplift her status and cement her standing in this world, would fail her so spectacularly, Lingyi would have scoffed. Now, the reality of her failure loomed large, threatening to crush her. She weighed her options, the familiar knot of anxiety tightening in her stomach. Should she confess everything the way it happened to her mistress, Consort Xian, and risk her wrath? Or should she shoulder this burden alone, navigating the treacherous currents of the palace with no support?.
"But what am I to do now?" she whispered to herself, her thoughts echoing the turmoil in her heart. "Pretend nothing happened and simply carry on?" Lingyi wasn't just grappling with the failure of her plan; she was haunted by the encounter with Prince Lan. To her, it felt like a violation, a near-defilement, and although he didn't succeed with her, which was due to her own strong resolve, this would have happend to any other maid in her place But to Prince Lan, she was just another nameless palace maid, her life insignificant in the grand tapestry of the court. He was utterly oblivious to the fact that she, Ru Lingyi, knew what had transpired in that changing room. The injustice of it burned within her.
Lingyi was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't notice when they arrived at Chengqian Gate. The gentle thud of the royal sedan touching the marble floor, signaling Consort Xian's disembarkation, jolted her back to the present. She immediately jerked into consciousness, forcing a semblance of composure onto her face as she assisted her mistress from the sedan and led her into Chengqian Palace. The night was young, but exhaustion clung to everyone like a heavy cloak. All Lingyi wished for was an early dismissal, a moment of respite to gather her scattered thoughts. "If I must navigate this unscathed," she murmured to herself, correcting her earlier slip of the tongue, "then I need to clear my head and devise a plausible explanation." She said to her self as her heart raced, a frantic drum against her ribs.
And as she led Consort Xian into her chambers, her heart raced. She clenched the hem of her garment, wishing desperately that her mistress wouldn't inquire about her sudden absence from the evening's feast. But even if she doesn't, Consort Shu would rather walk a camel through a needle's eye than keep quiet about seeing lingyi. She walked Consort Xian to her chamber seat, her movements precise and deliberate as she undressed her mistress's elaborate outer robe and intricate coiffure. She carefully removed her hair accessories, the delicate jade and pearls feeling heavy in her trembling hands, and began the nightly ritual of oiling Consort Xian's hair. Even though she tried desperately to conceal her nervousness, it was as transparent as water to Consort Xian. The silence in the room was unusual, thick with unspoken words, but understandable to them both.
Finally, Consort Xian broke the silence, her voice calm but firm. "Now, tell me, Lingyi. Why and where did you disappear to?"
The words landed like a stone in the pit of Lingyi's stomach. Her carefully constructed facade crumbled. She thought of fabricating a plausible lie, something that would appease her mistress and keep her own secret safe. But a small voice inside her urged her towards honesty, albeit a carefully curated version of it. After a moment of agonizing hesitation, she swallowed hard, her throat dry and scratchy. She parted her lips slowly, her voice barely a whisper. "I… I was overcome by worry, Niang Niang. I feared that Prince Lan had abandoned his promise… the promise of marriage. So, I… I disguised myself as an ordinary maid, hoping to get close to him tonight." Lingyi said, clenching her teeth in shame.
Consort Xian's eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed in something that Lingyi couldn't quite decipher. A small, mirthless chuckle escaped her lips. "And were you able to get your answer tonight?" she asked, her tone laced with a hint of irony.
Lingyi's mind raced. She thought of confessing the whole truth, telling Consort Xian how her cousin, the esteemed Prince Lan, had almost violated her in the changing room, completely unaware of her true identity. But the words caught in her throat. Prince Lan was Consort Xian's family. That bond, that blood connection, was not something she dared tamper with. The potential repercussions were too terrifying to contemplate. She simply shook her head in silent despair.
Consort Xian chuckled again, a low, throaty sound. She leaned forward, her gaze piercing. "What were you thinking, Lingyi? Going after a man like that… my brother, for that matter! You aspire to be Princess Lan, and this is how you conduct yourself? I'm sure someone else must have witnessed what happened today. You are making me an object of ridicule! Oh, Lingyi," she sighed, her voice laced with disappointment, "do not trouble my calm waters. Do not think that just because you manage the affairs of Chengqian Palace, you can take such liberties. I can have you replaced in an instant."
Lingyi's heart plummeted. The weight of her actions, the sheer recklessness of her desperation, crashed down on her. She immediately fell to her knees, kowtowing deeply to her mistress. "Niang Niang, please… I beg you for mercy! I was foolish, blinded by my own selfish desires. I swear, it will never happen again."
Consort Xian threw her left hand up in the air, a gesture of dismissal, her face tight with anger. She turned away from Lingyi, her displeasure palpable. "Leave," she commanded, her voice cold and sharp.
Lingyi rose slowly, her knees trembling. She bowed deeply to her mistress, her head bowed in shame, and retreated backwards from the chamber. Outside Consort Xian's door, as she walked towards her own quarters, the events of the evening replayed in her mind, each scene a fresh wound. She glanced back at the shadow of her mistress through the translucent door screen. Now, she had no shield. Her prince charming had nearly assaulted her, and her mistress no longer trusted her. The world seemed to tilt beneath her feet.
She walked into her own sparsely furnished room and collapsed onto her bed, the rough fabric of the mattress a small comfort in the face of her despair. She was alone now, utterly and completely alone. Whether she could survive the tremors and schemes, the intricate dance of palace politics, depended entirely on her own cunning and resilience. The silence of the night pressed in on her, broken only by the frantic beating of her own heart. The long night stretched ahead, an uncertain path into a future she could no longer predict.