As we stood there, our foreheads touching, I knew this was the start of something big that would change our lives a lot moving forward. And as scary as that idea was...I couldn't wait to see what happened next.
When we finally pulled apart, I couldn't help but giggle a little because Ric looked so stunned but happy. Gosh, we were a couple of lovestruck fools, weren't we?
"Well," I said, out of breath. "That's sure one way to start over."
Ric just smiled and hugged me again, burying his face in my hair. "I don't know what's next for us," he said quietly. "But I do know I'm never letting you go again, Bee. You're it for me."
I hugged him tighter, letting the truth of his words and our brilliant new reality sink in. There were still so many questions, so many hard things and potential heartaches ahead on this road.
But for now, for this single moment...I let myself have this. All the hope and possibility and love I'd wanted for so long, finally real and safe in his arms around me.
It was enough. He was enough. And maybe, just maybe...I could turn out to be the same for him too but that is when it hits me hard, Ric has a girlfriend, I totally forgot about that.
"Oh no. You have a girlfriend Ric." I say while I give him a slight push away from me. He just laughs at that.
"You look cute like this you know." He said. (Like, is he crazy or something).
"Are you crazy, Ric. Am being serious here." I said while I start to panic thinking of everything all over again. Ric just stands there looking at me, the smile not leaving his face.
"Oh no. What have I done? I can't believe I forgot that important detail." I continued now in full time panic.
"Relax Bee. It's okay."
"No it's not. How can you even say that. I can't believe you're still smiling." I said lightly hitting him on the shoulder.
"I was never dating Tina okay. Everybody just concluded, so I chose to say nothing." He said.
"But....but we clearly met you guys that day right?" I asked in confusion.
"Yeah, we were just hanging out. Thought we could just get to know each other and maybe see where we go from there. That was just it." He said.
"But that means there's still something going on Ric." I said still panicking. "I can't add being the other woman on top of everything Ric. It's ....it's terrible okay." I said and he burst out laughing. I didn't think anything about what I said is funny so I just kept on looking at him as he continues laughing.
"It's not funny Ric." I managed to say. "Nothing I just said is funny." I added while he draws me into him in another hug. (He's behaving wierdly okay).
"I made it clear to her when we spoke earlier. Don't worry. You are the main woman here okay." He said stressing the 'main woman' while laughing.
"Really?" I asked. I needed his word on that. I needed to be sure.
"Yeah. You have nothing to worry about. You're the only woman I want, Bee. The only one." He said and I felt my heart grow full at that moment. I hug him back tightly.
"So you and Tina were never actually dating?" I asked Ric, still confused.
He pulled me close and said, "No, we were just hanging out casually. Trying to ignore these..." He looked between us. "Feelings we have."
I felt my face get warm. Of course we have been avoiding this for a long time.
"I can't believe you kept that from me," I said, lightly hitting his chest. "We're best friends, remember? No secrets."
"Like you were so open yourself?" he teased. "Remember you stopped talking to me after meeting Tina?" He said.
He was right. When I saw him with Tina, I was so jealous. I stupidly tried to bury my feelings by avoiding Ric. Not my best moment but it was necessary okay.
"Okay, fine. We're both bad at communicating," I admitted. "Especially about...this." I motioned between us again.
Ric's expression softened. "Yeah, the lines got blurry. We're cousins, but best friends. And somewhere along the way..."
"Feelings happened," I finished quietly. "Feelings we couldn't ignore no matter what."
He cupped my face. "I'm done ignoring it, Bee. I want to try...us."
My heart fluttered hearing that. Part of me had been hoping for this. But another part felt scared and guilty.
Ric, this is...kind of crazy, you know?" I stammered. "We're family. Taking that next step is...wrong, isn't it?"
To my surprise, he laughed softly. "Since when do I care about breaking rules or norms? We've never been conventional Bee."
He had a point there. We had never been an ordinary pair.
"So you're saying...we just go for it? No matter what?"
He leaned in close. "I'm saying...I can't live a lie anymore, Bee. And I don't want to miss my chance at real happiness with you. Not if you feel it too."
I looked into his warm, longing eyes. Finally, I nodded shakily. "Okay...okay, let's do this crazy thing. Let's give 'us' a real try."
The smile on his face made me weak. With a soft laugh, I looped my arms around his neck hugging him back.
Who knew where this wild path would lead? But I was all in now, consequences be damned. With Ric by my side, maybe I could handle anything.
"I hope you're not going to have us start this conversation all over again." He said laughing again.
"No, I have already decided this time. Don't worry." I said to him.
"I'm so happy Bee. I can't tell you how happy I am that you agreed. I thought this will never happen. But you have made me so happy today." He said breathing into my neck.
"Me too. I'm happy." I said "But it doesn't mean I'm not scared." I added.
"I'm scared too. But it'll be fine." He said
"Yes, it will. But that is to say this remains between us only. " I said and he lifts his head suddenly pulling away a bit to look at me as if searching to see if I meant what I said. I mean it. I really do. This can only stay a secret. Only a secret.