SAOIRSE's POINT OF VIEW
"Ugh!"
I exhaled sharply, punctuating my frustration with a deliberate toss of a book towards Silvia, aiming for impact this time. Predictably, she effortlessly intercepted it mid-air, unfazed by our surroundings in the sanctum of the library.
She drew a composed breath, a smirk dancing upon her lips. "Trouble in paradise with Taemin again?"
I nearly choked on my disbelief. She had an uncanny ability to needle me, aware of the visceral reaction his name provoked, evoking a visceral response that twisted my insides.
That wretched man ought to be six feet under by now, lest I take matters into my own hands—oh, break was ending soon.
I groaned audibly. "Sil, I've told you to refrain from mentioning him. It's been five years," I gestured pointedly with a clenched fist. "Five interminable years and—"
"Emotional convalescence lacks a fixed schedule," she quipped, her grin persisting. "Relax. You'll get there."
My lips tightened into a thin line. "That's not the issue. It's not about moving on; I simply despise—"
"Same difference," she interjected with a smirk. "Why do you think you still harbor that animosity?"
"Sil, can we not?"
"Sure, sure," she nodded, her grin undiminished.
I sometimes wondered if conversing with her invoked a malevolent spirit within me. Occasionally, bizarre musings surfaced, questioning if she was truly my confidante or a celestial test I was destined to overcome.
A fleeting smile crossed my face as I recalled our first meeting.
Back in fourth grade, yearning for a loyal companion akin to an angel, I found myself in the pantry with my personal maid when a commotion erupted at the entrance. We turned to witness her quelling the campus bullies with vigor. How we grew inseparable thereafter eluded me.
I chuckled softly, shaking my head.
"Come on," I gathered my belongings, rising to my feet.
With just fifteen minutes until the next class resumed, we hastened out. Passing students greeted us routinely; I, the school ambassadress, and she, my predecessor.
"Isn't she that girl?"
"No wonder he replaced her. She's hardly remarkable. Irene was far more striking."
"Perhaps it's because she lacks prowess in other domains."
I halted, fixing my gaze on the trio to my right in the hallway. They appeared startled but defiant. Approaching them, I paused a meter away.
"What a fascinating tale. Where did you come across it?" I inquired, smiling. They exchanged nervous glances, at a loss for words.
Known not only for my role as school ambassadress but also for my uncompromising stance against troublemakers, I surveyed them with a measured stare.
"Um... it's... uh..." one stammered, unable to formulate a coherent response.
I smirked, continuing to scrutinize them. "Your lives must be quite empty and dull," I lamented. "Your parents sent you here to study, not to meddle in others' affairs."
They glanced around nervously, aware of the attention we were drawing.
"I-I'm sorry," they mumbled in unison.
"Leave before I lose my patience," I hissed, gratified by Silvia's chuckle from the sidelines. "Sorry, was that too harsh?"
"You, bitches! How dare you? Is what I wanted to say, but I understand the reputation we must uphold as ambassadresses. Next time, though, if you won't, I will."
"Nah, not worth the effort."
She fell into step beside me, and together we proceeded to our next class. We settled quietly, awaiting our professor.
As second-year Pharmacy students, Silvia and I shared Organic Chemistry, a subject I particularly detested.
Once enamored with experiments, now joy eluded me. Why did I choose this course again?
"Hey, will the substitute be taking over today?" Silvia asked, retrieving her books from her bag.
"Yeah. Any idea who it might be?" I inquired, to which she shook her head.
"Who knows. The dean hasn't informed us, but since the regular lecturers are busy, they probably hired someone while Mrs. Gamboa's on maternity leave."
I shrugged, uninterested in further details.
As long as this substitute doesn't quiz us orally like Mrs. Gamboa, we'll be fine.
I removed my earphones, opting to pass the time with music. "Been Through" by EXO filled my ears, and I murmured along to the lyrics until Silvia nudged my waist, nearly causing me to drop my phone.
I groaned, yanking out one earphone and shooting her a glare. "What was that for?!" I huffed, forehead creasing.
Silvia gestured subtly ahead of us. I turned and my eyes widened at the familiar figure.
What in the mother fucking fuck is this?! Why is he here?!
"Settle down," he commanded. The students obeyed, the girls audibly swooning at his smile.
A knot formed in my throat as he spoke. The sensation was sharp, painful.
He looked older now, more ruggedly handsome, his dark hair brushing his sharp brows. I could sense his sculpted physique beneath the thin white polo.
Why am I even thinking about this now?!
"My name is Taemin Hinata, and I'll be your substitute teacher for the next month while Mrs. Gamboa is away."
"Just a month? Why not forever?" Chandria, one of the campus beauties, sighed.
"Because nothing lasts forever," he replied, smiling, prompting a sarcastic chuckle from me.
"Indeed," I retorted. "Which is why it's so surprising to see you here again."
He met my gaze, and I returned it fiercely. I wouldn't let him win this time. Not now, not ever.
Silvia nudged me again. "Stop," she whispered, but I couldn't suppress my smirk.
Taemin's Adam's apple bobbed as he held onto his book.
"Open your textbooks to pages 112-120. Read and be prepared for a brief discussion when I return."
The students glanced at me as he stepped out.
"What?!" I exclaimed, rising abruptly in annoyance.
"Where are you going?" Silvia queried, but I didn't respond, striding toward the exit.
"Eonnie!"
Her use of the honorific conveyed her concern. I couldn't let her witness my emotional turmoil again, not now.
This was unexpected. I thought he was gone for good. He should have been! I ground my teeth. I couldn't return like this; I might lose control in front of everyone.
I stopped by the large lilac tree near the school's edge, sighing as I sank beneath it, hugging my knees to my chest.
"You son of a—" I hissed, slamming my forehead against my knees until Silvia suddenly appeared beside me, inserting her palm to prevent further harm.
"It's rude to walk away when someone's still talking," she scolded, catching her breath.
"We both know he's a jerk. Can you stop with the theatrics?"
"You know it's not that easy," I murmured. "Why is he even here? He acted surprised to see me, but he knew I studied here!"
She sighed, sitting beside me. "Are you suggesting he's here to see you again?"
"No!" I protested. "Of course not!"
"That contradicts to what you just said," she observed. "Have you forgotten what he did four years ago? Don't tell me, because you haven't moved on and still love him, you'd take him back if he returned?"
"It's not like that," I frowned. "I've tried so hard to forget him and what he did, but now that he's here, it feels like all my efforts were wasted."
"You can't force yourself to forget. The more you try, the more it lingers. Time will heal your wounds. Moving on isn't about forgetting; it's about learning from it. Since your relationship is dead, cherish it in memory until you're ready to let go."
I managed a smile. Silvia could be childish, but in moments like this, I could always rely on her.
I wrapped my arms around hers. "Thank you for always being here for me, Sil."
"I'm your best friend."
"So you're obliged to stay with me," I teased, meeting her raised eyebrow with a grin.
"Being a best friend isn't an obligation; it's a strong bond that connects one person to another," she lectured gently. "While I may not have walked in your shoes, I've always been right there beside you. Even though I haven't experienced your pain firsthand, I can feel it."
I chuckled. "Ah, Silvia... always with the iconic speeches."
She rolled her eyes, feigning annoyance. "Cut the drama, will you? We're still in the middle of class!"
"Alright, alright."
Taemin hadn't returned yet when we arrived, so we used the time to read through the assigned pages. I could hear whispers among my classmates about him and me, but I ignored them, focusing on the text before me.
Just as I finished reading, he entered the room. Our eyes briefly met, and I quickly looked away, determined not to show any discomfort and to pretend he wasn't there at all.
"Hmm..." I murmured, batting my eyes as I noticed two orange butterflies fluttering around the lilac tree outside—and a girl. She appeared to be chasing after them.
For some reason, my attention fixated on them, a wave of emotion washing over me, a strange sense of nostalgia as if I'd seen her before— but where?