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The Empress covered her mouth with a handkerchief, tears streaming down from the corners of her eyes. This was the true connection between mother and son; the child had felt her presence. She didn't miss her son's expression, nor his final mouthed words, "Do not cry."
But she wanted to cry. After so many years, countless days and nights of torment, she blamed the Emperor, but hated herself even more. As a mother, she despised herself for not protecting her son, for not ensuring his safety. She never dreamed of her son because she didn't dare to, and she felt ashamed to even think of him.
All these years, were it not for her eldest son, Jingchen, and her hatred, she couldn't have found the strength to carry on. God knows how infuriated she felt inside every time she saw Zhang Jinghong.