PANACEA.
That was what her words left me.
"How can my dumpling be so smart and adorable? You're healing my heart, baby."
I did not pull Lumi into a tight embrace this time.
Instead, I rose from of the mattress, held her by the armpits, and nuzzled myself against her cheeks.
I was not lying.
Her words really were a panacea.
The ache and numbness in my heart was gone, now turned warm and fuzzy and glowing now.
My blood pulsated with vigor and vitality, supercharging me with confidence.
I could do anything if it was for my beautiful, sweet daughter.
She wanted my love.
She believed me.
That meant the whole world; that was everything.
I vowed again to make all her dreams come true; to make all her wishes into reality.
Put me down, Dad. I am a little tired.
I complied, a tad reluctant.
There was the weary furrow between Lumi's brows and her eyelids flickered shut.
She was much more than a little tired.
I hurried to tuck her in.
"Dumpling, are you feeling, okay?" I murmured into her ear, voice laced with concern.
I'm sleepy. When I could understand your thinking, there was a lot of words and pictures in my mind. I was dizzy.
My fingertips brushed the top of her head.
I'm glad to hear that, dumpling. Get some rest. Sweet dreams.
Can you pass me Meteor, Dad? I always sleep with him. He's a bear. In the corner of the bed.
I found the teddy bear with a quick glance, if one could even tell it was a teddy bear.
It was ragged and worn-out.
Curly brown hair stuck out like twigs.
Fur mottled dirty with black dirt and dust.
Torn stuffing around his belly area.
One of his button eyes missing.
I recognized the bear.
It was one of the only gifts, if not the only gift I had ever given to Lumi, all the way back in time when she was first born.
My heart went to knots and totters.
Dumpling. You've kept him for so long.
*
*
*
A little part of me was glad to find Lumi drifting into dreamland.
I'd heard her soft snoozes and her empty mind.
I refused to her to see me cry again, knowing she could feel and understand much more than my thoughts.
Our telepathy extended more to our emotions, knowledge, memories.
It included awareness of our bodies and even talents.
I was never one with musical talents, but I've had expierence and my fair share of embarrassing moments.
Karaoke boxes and bars were frequent drug dens in my past life.
But now, as melodies of popular hit songs from my past life sounded in my mind, I found I could understand the music as colors…
which meant Lumi was a synesthete.
My grip tightened around Meteor.
"If we can share talents with our connected bodies... that could mean we could share practice.
So, if I got better at singing, Lumi would too. I could share her burden," I murmured.
People were not made into stardom.
I knew it was a combination of factors.
Hard work and discipline.
Talent and genius.
Luck and opportunity.
I knew many who desired to be a star, a singer, an actor, but never managed to make it to the big screen or stage.
The common rule of thumb was ten thousand hours to master a skill.
Ten-thousand hours practicing four hours per day was equal to two-thousand-five hundred days.
Two-thousand-five hundred days with around two-hundred-and-thirty working days in a year.
That was equal to around eleven years of deliberate practice, four hours daily.
Other people retained twenty-four hours in a day.
I postulated Lumi and I could practice forty-eight hours a day because of our telepathy.
"Dumpling, our wish doesn't seem to be as ambitious as before," I whispered to her, crouching at the head of the bed.
I wanted to place Meteor in her arms, but opted to settle near her pillow instead.
I refused to let bear or anything disturb her sound sleep.
I rose, reluctant to part from her presence for too long, although necessary.
The sight of Meteor in his condition was more of a weapon of war to my heart than any bullet or missile.
I knew I had fix him, no matter what.
I was thankful I had the experience of a seamstress. It wasn't a difficult job to clean Meteor up and patch up his ragged tatters.
I began to do just that.
"Sleep tight, Lumi. I will make your dreams into reality," I murmured into her room, as I stepped out.
When I returned with a sewing kit in hand, I was in for quite a surprise.
A surprise so much so, it forced me to drop the sewing kit and rub my eyes.
There was Meteor, except he was not.
The old, dirty teddy bear was now in pristine condition, brand new as brand new could be.
The large tear in his belly area became into a zipper pouch.
I placed emphasis on the glow surrounding him.
Meteor glowed the most ethereal silver glow around its body.
An etherealness only matched by Lumi's adorable sleeping face.
L-Lumi, dear? Dumpling? Do you see this?
There was no response. She remained snoozing away.
I was in crosswalks staring between Lumi and the new Meteor but found myself gritting my teeth.
It remained as one more thing to add to the list of impossibilities.
Lumi's cuteness.
Our telepathy and shared bodies.
My second chance.
And a supernatural glow-up of a teddy bear to boot.
It was difficult, but I accepted it.
I took a daring step forward and picked up the bear with two hands and held it in the air.
"Hello," I said, unsure what to expect.
I bit my lip at the mocking silence which ensued. I did not know what else to say.
"Is there something you need, Meteor? This is all very surreal, so please tell me who you are.
Are you a wandering spirit that took possession of this teddy bear?
Haunting it, or perhaps enchanting it?
If you bear harmful ideas towards my daughter, I assure you to let them go, because I will never let you go."
My provoking attempt fell short, so I changed my tactics.
I was aware I sort of lost my mind talking to a teddy bear, no matter how supernatural he might be.
But I considered the series of fortunate events today and found myself with a lot to talk about.
"If you are genie-like spirit, please bless my daughter. Grant me a wish for her.
She is the kindest, purest soul you will ever meet.
Even to pain, she harbors no resentment, only forgiveness.
She only desires to recognition and love from the universe that once gave up on her."
I paused.
"Grant me something that can heal and sweeten her voice to be of the most beautiful and charming singers.
Her abusive mother once poured scalding hot water down her throat.
Her once unavailable father never bothered to listen to her voice.
That is my wish. That is our wish, oh-wandering spirit."
I saw in Lumi's mind the interest she had for fairy tales, so I took the opportunity to practice my storytelling.
It was more of a cordial greeting than a formal request, so I expected no response.
I also prepared some more silly questions to ask to Meteor.
So when its zipper came undone by itself, it caught me completely off guard.
With the teddy bear still held high above my head, a void of speckled stars and darkness greeted me.