"How's Japan?" My ex-husband stared at me at the other side of the glassed case inside the museum.
"It was good, I'm glad I can see this place again. How's being a mangaka, Sana?" his young face looks back at me and away from the display; his brown eyes stared like the question didn't bother him at all. It was a difficult fact to accept that it's one of the reasons why we broke up, maybe miscommunication, we speak in English most of the time. I'm using my second language English, Filipino is my first language, but it is difficult for me to pick up some words from Japanese. Napakahirap pag di mo alam ang sinasabi ng partner mo. His eyes flutter softly, yan ang mga qualities na hindi ko malilimutan, his gorgeous eyes, face that's soft I could touch all day, lips that's probably soft as it is, chest to put my head on when I feel down. I breathe out a sigh knowing every aspect of him is so lovable, even his heart, his heart is so pure, I didn't deserve it at all. He's doing all charity works outside his job as a mangaka, if he at least found time in his schedule he teaches in a nearby school as a substitute, this man doesn't deserve me at all. This man doesn't deserve people around him, even me.
So why did we break up, Sana?
"I'm still doing the same, Christian" Maybe because I was a guy? "... or should I say Christiana" his lips curl into a smile, I couldn't say it was a painful smile, nor I couldn't say it was a real authentic smile about my gender preference, to be fair, he's really hard to read, even though we've had been together for four years.
There are many reasons why people choose to change their gender, maybe trauma, maybe they feel they don't fit into the world with the body they have at birth. It's not anyone's fault, nor their parent's fault. It's just that it feels so wrong. Others say that they feel so trapped inside this body and trapped in society's opinion on what they can do. I personally would have enjoyed everything in my life. You know, having long hair without any Prefect of Discipline cutting it off just because of the school rules, and I'm enrolled in a catholic school. I mean, I respect those school rules, as people said you must abide by it, but it really feels off. In any case, I'm fine now, finally, although some people I'm friends with are shocked at my decision... I'm gonna be honest, it is a gradual acceptance, although my dad still doesn't like the whole me yet,
"You know, you can still call me Christian." I smiled back. "That is if you're still uncomfortable," I respect what people prefer to call me, but I prefer the female version of my name, I feel like a new person, a person who can start a new and a full chapter in her life.
"I'll call you still what you like to be called, it doesn't matter what you prefer to be called, I respect your likes"
"Thank you." I walked with him in his art exhibit, his art is colorful as ever, the tone was always lively, the details are like the old Greek sketches or statues, I've always been fond of looking at in Rome when he and I were still together. "You're pretty inspired to draw like these a lot, huh?" I commented, he tucked his hair back on his cap as he slips on his tinted eyeglasses to be unrecognizable from the crowd. A few students crowed us as they looked at the painted canvas where Sana's own favorite character, also a mangaka who is described by other people his own personification of himself, yet I see him the opposite way aside from the hair color he has which is pink while Sana have brown ones, and pink eyes while he is also the same as the color of the earthly ground. Their characteristics are all different, I don't know why they kept him comparing them, maybe just because of their occupation, I guess... well that's a wild guess.
"Sana?" I looked around me and I only saw the students gathering around. I called his name two times more and decided to step away from the crowd, "Sana?" He stood next to a sculpture of an angel he made looking at it by the glass.
"Sana..." I breathe out a sigh as I went to him.
"Do you mind if I grab your hand?" he asks as he immediately grabs my right hand still looking back to the main front.
"I don't. Why?"
"We're going to run away."
"What? Why? I just came here-"
"You know my boss, right?"
"Oh?"
"He's going here, and I'm gonna stuck here again."
"It's your Job"
"I'm happy you can finally get what you want. I'm happy you're happy now."
"And I, to you."
A brief moment of silence envelops us and for a moment silence broke the red strings of fate tied on our fingers.