Despite dreading it... despite running from it... zero hour - or as it was more commonly called by people actually looking forward to the event - Homecoming arrived.
I was less than eager to spend hours cooped up in a redecorated school gym with the rest of the significant student body (many of whom I did not like), but I was coerced into attending by the rest of my team. I told myself I would even the score with them eventually, mutinous bastards that they were, Mister Rasputin included, seeing as how he was a chaperone.
The proverbial rain cloud over my head kept many people at bay for quite some time after I first arrived, which I was fine with. Unfortunately, it didn't take too terribly long for the first person to arrive who couldn't read my mood. Either that, or he didn't care.
Eventually, Julian strode up, looking as self-satisfied as ever, "Marcher! You look miserable as fuck," He commented with a grin, "Then again... you usually look pissed about something."
I couldn't say he was wrong there, "Hello, Julian," I said as neutrally as possible, before offering a smile to the girl he had with him on his arm, "Hey, Sofia. You look good."
Sofia smiled at me and nodded, "Thank you, Bellamy," She took it as the casual compliment that it was. Julian, on the other hand, decided to make a thing out of it.
"Whoa-whoa-whoa," The rich telekinetic put himself between the two of us, "This is my girl tonight, Marcher. You had your own, but you-," I had been gearing up for some kind of remark from him, but it never came, "Huh... never mind. I don't feel like finishing that one."
I was stunned. Even Sofia was surprised. Julian not taking the chance to finish a mean-spirited joke? And at my expense? What had the world come to? Either way, I left it alone. If he wasn't going to give me a reason to start any trouble, I wasn't going to pursue it.
"Are you by yourself?" Sofia asked, trying to get us past the previous moment.
I just shrugged, trying to look cool with my hands in my pockets, "Kinda short notice to try and find another date," I said, keeping an eye out for my ex, lest things get even worse, "...Kinda in bad taste too."
Julian seemed put off by my answer, "So, you're here, but you're not gonna try and dance with anyone?" He asked, "Dancing with a girl isn't the same thing as fucking one in front of Pixie, Marcher."
"Trying to enjoy yourself isn't spiteful," Sofia tried to counsel me, taking a more measured approach than her asshat boyfriend, "I know you want to take the breakup seriously. But do not forget to have fun," She gave me a pat on the arm before leaving with Julian, "We will see you later."
"Yeah, and quit scowling," Julian offered as a parting shot/word of advice, "I know it's, like, your default expression, but it's girl-repellent."
It was too early in the evening to flip someone off, so I kept my middle fingers holstered for the time being. I felt like there would be plenty of opportunities to be a shitheel as the evening progressed.
Looking around, I could see some of my teammates enjoying themselves. True to what we'd all expected, Hisako had a date. Some guy I didn't know, that she had never bothered bringing around the team. Good idea, keeping whoever it was away from us for the time being. There was no need to have the rest of the Paladins scare off someone she might have been interested in early.
Eddie was dancing with Cessily, and had thankfully foregone the leather suit, both for his sake and for Cessily's. The two of them had gotten together randomly, so I was glad it looked like something substantial was coming out of it.
...Humbug. I didn't need to be there for any of this. All of these good feelings. Blah. The crew could catch me up on any goings-on that I missed and absolutely needed to know about.
I had given up and was on my way out, when on my way to the door, I came across a gaggle of girls, including Megan, clad in a dress that matched her pink hair. She seemed taken aback that I was there.
"Hi, Bel," Megan said, sounding very uncomfortable, "...We need to talk."
I stared her in the eyes, having been waiting for this for quite some time, "By 'we', do you mean you and me? Or do you mean-?" I trailed off and gestured to her accompanying entourage. I knew this would happen. Any conversation we had amongst the peanut gallery would be worthless.
She looked back at her gathered friends, "No. Just me," She said pointedly, giving them enough of a glare to get them to back off. I was grateful for that, at least.
The time for this talk had been a week ago. After that point, it was too soon to try and smooth things out now. When I told other people that I wasn't angry, it was because I did my best to avoid the topic altogether. But anger wouldn't do me any good here. Control. That was what I needed.
We were still in the middle of the gym, and tons of kids had stopped what they were doing to watch. Some weren't even respectfully subtle about it, "You want to do this here?" I asked.
Megan looked around and quickly picked up on what I had, "No, I-. Follow me."
She took me outside, away from the other dance-goers. It took a moment for my ears to adjust to the lack of music and other noises. The quieter it got, the more nervous I got. It was something I had to swallow down and push through. This needed to happen. That didn't mean it was going to be fun.
Bravely enough, Megan was the first one to try and push through the awkwardness, "So, how have you been?"
Her attempt to break the ice was met with snark that had been festering for a week, "Oh, you know. Winning Field Day... thwarting terrorist attacks... being called out around school for cheating on you. Other than that last thing, great."
A shock of satisfaction rolled through me when I saw her wings droop. But then, I immediately felt like a jerk. Why? Why couldn't I just ever be mad about something without thinking about it?
Megan spoke quietly, eyes to the ground, "I never said that about you. It was the others. Not that it really matters as far as you're concerned," She took a deep breath, "It got out of control so fast. It was, like, one day I came out of my room and boom! It was out there, and I couldn't tell enough people how wrong they were."
I believed her. Despite the unpleasantness of the break-up, she had never lied to me. The only time she'd ever hurt me at all was the break-up itself. That gave her the benefit of the doubt from me.
"I don't care about what people I don't know think," I said to her. I gave the school at most a few weeks, and no one would even remember what the issue with me had been, "Pix, I need you to know that I never would have cheated on you, ever. Not with Laura. Not with anyone," The thought had never realistically crossed my mind, "I'm a piece of work, but I'm not that bad."
Megan sat down on a bench outside, looking down at her feet, "I wanted something simple. A cute boy who was all mine, who I could just be with," She wiggled her toes anxiously and looked up at me, "That's definitely not you. You're not simple."
I wanted to sit down next to her, but I felt that was too close for being a brand new ex, "...I could be."
Megan smiled at me sadly, "No, you can't," I felt my posture slump at that, something she noticed, "That's not a bad thing! It's not a bad thing that you're complicated."
I shuffled in place, uncomfortable, not because of my suit a d dress shoes, but because of the conversation, "I don't think I'm that complicated, Pix."
Megan scooted herself over on the bench and gestured to the space next to her. I didn't come any closer at first, but she wouldn't say anything else until I finally gave in and sat down, "You might think you're not, because you can explain who you think you are without thinking about it," She shook her head, "I can't. I feel like I'd have to write a term paper just to get through all of the nuts and bolts of what I think makes you tick."
"Sounds like a good idea for a psychology piece," I muttered. If someone actually cared enough to look at the telepathically altered construct that was now my mind, it would probably be quite the show.
"It's not just that," Megan continued, "You get shot off to space. You fight terrorists and supervillains. Your son from the future wants to kill you," She started sounding more exasperated, "The things you fall into... it's too much. It's too big. I know this is a school for X-Men, but all of that is over my head right now."
What a nice way to say that I was more trouble than I was worth. If I had been feeling more positive, I probably would have laughed. As it stood though, all I could do was soberly accept it, "I understand. I wish you'd have told me that when you dumped me. I could have stomached that."
Megan shrugged, not really apologizing about it, "It took me a few days to realize how uneasy all of that made me," Her expression turned hesitant, "...Do you hate me?"
I gave her a look that I hope reflected how dumb of a question that was, "Pix, if I hated you, you wouldn't have to ask. You would know. I'm petty as fuck when I'm mad," I definitely didn't hold civil summits with people I was upset with, "..I guess I really am a starter boyfriend. Could be worse, I guess."
Megan hadn't been privy to the conversation I'd had with Cessily and Hisako to get the reference. It felt like it had been a lifetime ago, when it had really only been a few weeks. Had all of this really fallen apart that fast? Oh well. As I still couldn't think of what I'd done to actually win Megan over, I would just have to live with not having her.
"Well, we had fun though, didn't we?" I said, letting her know in so many words that I knew it was over.
A smile lit up her face, all bright eyes and freckles, even though I could see the tears starting to well up, "Absolutely."
"Do you regret getting with me?"
"Not a chance."
That was all I could ask from her; that I wasn't a mistake. I would keep to my word and let her go. The last thing I ever wanted to be was 'that guy'. Megan gave me a kiss on the cheek and got up to go back inside. It was as close of a goodbye as we could have, given that neither of us were leaving the school and we would continue to see each other around. That would be awkward, but hey, we would deal with that when the time came.
You couldn't control and plan for everything. I wasn't any good at that sort of thing anyway. Anticipation wasn't my strong suit. I was more of an action/reaction kind of guy - cause a response, see what happens, and adjust to things as they come along.
Speaking of handling things as they came along, Laura revealed herself shortly after. She'd kept out of sight along the side of the gym while Megan and I had been talking. I wasn't really surprised she'd been listening; more so that she'd actually shown herself.
I didn't tell her to leave, nor did I tell her to come over. I let her make that decision on her own. Eventually, she decided to join me.
Whereas she usually walked so quietly she could leave a room from standing right next to me without my noticing, the heels on her feet clicked off of the pavement. And to say that it was odd to see Laura in a dress as vibrant a color as powder blue was a major departure from what I was used to.
"S'up," I greeted, leaning back on the bench, looking up at the moon.
Laura stopped a few feet away, hands clasped on front of herself, "I didn't mean to listen in, but..." She stopped explaining herself once I waved it off. I didn't care if anyone knew about what had happened, I just wanted an environment where Megan and I could have the conversation to begin with, "Are you okay with how this went?"
Not really.
"Does it matter?" I asked aloud, "Even if I was, what's done is done now."
Laura spared a glance back to the gym where Megan had returned to, "She's still attracted to you. You could probably get her back, you know," She seemed conflicted on advising me as such, "You could probably do it right now."
I fixed her with an odd look and studied her face. Why would she want me to do something like that? Eventually though, I fell back on my own reasons for doing what I did, "Maybe you're right. Maybe I could get her back for tonight. But I can't keep her. Not without changing who I am," I shook my head, "...I like who I am, Laura."
It was true. Sometimes, I was a little harsh on myself, but that was because my standards for myself were really goddamn high. In the grand scheme of things, I was more or less pleased. Maybe one day, somewhere down the line, I would look in the mirror and hate the guy staring back. Then I would work on changing. But not at that time.
"I like who you are too," Laura admitted, her gaze turning intense, "...Do you remember what I told you the last time we were alone together?"
About her and me? How could I forget? I thought about it almost every time I looked at her. It was intimidating, especially with the way she looked at me... and kind of exciting as well. I couldn't say that out loud though. I could only encapsulate my thoughts in three words, "Bring it on."
I must have amused her somehow, because she smirked at me, "Not tonight," She said, turning around to go back inside.
"Playing with your food is bad manners," I quipped. I could swear I heard her breath out a laugh through her nose.