Squad practice wasn't extremely tiring. Mister Rasputin believed in preparing our brains for missions instead of our bodies, more so than Miss Pryde did, even. Instead of splitting us off to get us to spar, he would keep us together and drum up mock scenarios that we'd have to walk through, going over possible solutions to whatever problems came up. And using fighting as a solution was often frowned upon.
That was fine with me. Ruth was never going to be a combat specialist. Eddie didn't have a taste for fighting unless you got him mad. Laura was the best fighter out of all of us, and wasn't going to get much better slapping us around. Hisako and I got enough training on our own time. In addition to working with Mister Logan, she'd even started asking Saberwolf for help.
Regardless, a slow day was just what I needed. I didn't want any more aches and bruises to add to the other ones I already had to try and sleep off. My body wanted rest, my mind wanted rest. Maybe that was why on this particular day, I didn't get it.
The moment my body sank onto my mattress and my eyes drifted shut, an annoying cackle rang out in my head, 'Quire, can this wait for like eight hours?' I complained in my head. Not that I would be willing to deal with his brand of bullshit even after a nap. I would just be better equipped for the task, 'I'll yell at you all you want later. Have a heart.'
"Now why would you ask someone else that when you don't even think you have one?" Of course, he was privy to my own thoughts about why I sucked. It wasn't like I kept them at the back of my mind, "No, this is good. You're less mouthy when you're tired. Easier to get into your head too."
Oh. He had to take advantage of me being tired and fed up to get at me again, 'So, you've been silent because you couldn't get into my head. I thought you were a top-class telepath. I don't even have any mental defenses,' I taunted.
"Bullshit. It's like a wall of flubber in your brain. I hit it, and get a little way in, but it just bounces me right back," He sounded frustrated. Good. Stay the fuck out of my head, "I agree on one part though. You definitely didn't do anything."
Sure. Go ahead and try to save some face, just because you couldn't use your magic brain to throw your weight around, 'I sure stopped you from messing with me.'
Quire's aggravation deepened at that, and he lashed out the only way he could at the moment, "No. You didn't, you arrogant ass," Quire said in my head. I had a response ready, but he got another word in before I could fire back, "Genius, did you ever stop to fucking think about why you just accept everything going on around you and move on? You never freak out? You never lose you shit?"
'Because dwelling on anything won't solve the problem?' I thought as though it were obvious. It was how I'd adjusted to the school. How I'd learned to roll with the punches that kept coming my way. It seemed to work so far.
"Yeah, but why would you think like that?" Quire said, continuing to make his point, "Before you came here, you were just some dumb brat who went to regular high school like the rest of the normies. Why!? What have you ever done before this that prepared you for this!? NOTHING!"
I wanted to say that I had been well-trained. I wanted to say that I'd been prepared for anything. But it wouldn't have been true. Other kids were trained too, and they froze up inside of the Danger Room. Hisako was an incident away from a panic attack before we got to Breakworld.
Nothing prepared you for getting randomly shot off into space like a test monkey. Nothing prepared you for a near-death experience where you were literally holding your own entrails inside of your open belly. Nothing prepared you to fight a motherfucker from the future, one that you apparently spawned.
Yet, I did. And I did my best to brush these things off. For the most part, it worked, and it really shouldn't have. I had nothing to go back at Quire with, and he knew it.
Quire's words were sharp, antagonizing. They jabbed at me like a needle, "That's what pisses me off the most about you. You walk around like you're so bad. Ha!" He let out a bark of laughter, "You moron. Every bit of real swagger you have, you got from a blind girl with a broken mind."
I was very aware of the tightening in my jaw, '...What are you on about?'
"You don't get it yet? Think. Who else would have tried to block your stupid brain from me? Who else would have benefited from you thinking you were more lion than sheep?" Not Miss Frost, and not the Cuckoos. Frost didn't like me, and I didn't know the sisters nearly well enough for them to jump into my head and start adjusting the wiring, "Face it. The best parts of you as an X-Man are all because Blindfold wanted a hero."
I couldn't believe what he was getting at, 'You're saying Ruth did something to my head?' My Ruth? My favorite mind-reader, with all of the power but none of the ego? 'I don't know how to break this to you, but her stuff isn't that subtle that I wouldn't have noticed it.'
"Why would she have to be subtle? You trust her. Any time you realized she was in your head; did you tell her to get out? It's not like she was hurting you, or making you do anything. Of course... maybe she was."
What did Quire know? Just because that's what he would have done, because it was the only way he could get anyone to be around him, that didn't mean someone else would.
"Only one way to find out, hero. But who's to say she won't just scramble your brain when you bring it up?"
Because I said so. Ruth wasn't like that. She didn't do that to people who deserved it. She'd never manipulated anyone to think better of her, even when tons of kids thought she was creepy. Even Eddie hadn't thought the best of her for the longest time, and she'd never done anything with her powers to try and manipulate that.
I trusted her. That being said, a seed had been planted. Now that I'd thought about it, there wasn't any reason not to go and see her before I went to sleep.