The next team session we had, the Paladins were one man down. That was because Miss Pryde decided that I wasn't fit to participate in that day's exercises. I had been right on the money when I figured that she would be mad after finding out about what I did.
"You can't do this to me," I said, looking down at my teammates' progress from the observation room alongside my advisor, "This is terrible."
Miss Pryde didn't even bother looking at me, as I pressed myself against the glass, so sorely wishing I could phase through it like she could, "It's supposed to be. This is a punishment for being an irresponsible brat. Emma Frost might have let you off with a warning, but I expect better out of my squad."
Apparently the Hellions played fast and loose with the rules and expectations of students at school. They got into trouble constantly, so much so that it was rare when there wasn't something happening around them. For whatever reason, that led to a certain amount of leniency allowed to them that others didn't get. It was either because they were really good, because they were the students of the headmistress, or both.
The rest of us actually got disciplined whenever something went wrong. Miss Pryde had let me have it when I saw her again for squad practice. Then she made me sit on the sidelines while the others ran the day's simulation. It was horrible. I'd been looking forward to working off some energy and blowing off some steam in the Danger Room all day, and I couldn't shut up about it.
"You're torturing me!" I said. I was fidgeting, physically fidgeting, because I wasn't down there myself doing my part, "Can't you just make me run some gauntlet of bad guys that I can't beat? Let 'em all whoop my ass or something? I'd rather do that than just stand here and watch!"
Miss Pryde didn't flinch, "Of course you would. That's exactly what you want. It's not a punishment if you're okay with doing it, Bellamy."
"A regular session would be bad enough. You're letting them fight actual villains today," And indeed, they had their hands full with a crazy six-armed woman with white hair named Spiral. She was teleporting all over the place and using magic to kick them around, "You never said anything about planning this before. You're only doing this because I started that fight with the Hellions."
"Do you really think I'd be that vindictive?"
"If I say yes, will you hold me out for another session?"
"Who says it was just supposed to be this one? I didn't tell you how many sessions I planned on keeping you out for."
The glass in the observation area must have been sturdy, because she didn't stop me when I started softly banging my head against it. It wasn't just that I wasn't getting any action to use my powers on that was affecting me so badly. I went dead silent as I kept my eyes peeled to the goings-on in the Danger Room. All I could do was watch and see how the others handled themselves.
It was bad.
Eddie was the most mobile of the three on my team, easily. He'd taken it upon himself to try and fly in close to distract Spiral since he was the one who came the closest to being able to keep up with her. Anything he did was in an effort to buy enough time for Hisako to get there and try her luck. It was never enough though, and Spiral would teleport away before our heaviest-hitter could get to her.
If I had been down there… I'm not saying we would have won, but we would have had a better chance.
The gears turned in my head as to how a combination of the four of us would be inifintely better than three.
Ruth could try and use her powers to determine what Spiral would try next. Instead of Eddie taking a beating just trying to keep Spiral in one place, he could do a fly-by and cut her off, just long enough for me to get a shot in on her from wherever I was. Then Hisako could sweep in to smash her.
As things stood right now, Hisako was split between hanging back to try and watch out for Ruth, and trying to break away long enough to help Eddie.
Miss Pryde had no qualms about digging into me about what was obviously already eating at me, "You know, when you were put on this squad, it made things so much better as a whole. Hisako and Eddie have to get near their targets to do anything, and Ruth's telepathy isn't advanced enough for her to disable enemies from afar with it. At least not yet."
Me though, I liked to consider myself a utility player because my powers weren't just based on me shooting things. I could also enhance my body processes by fueling them with the light I absorbed. But in the grand scheme of things, I was our long-range guy first and foremost.
It was really evident how much we needed that at the moment.
"Your squad could really use you out there right now, Bellamy," She continued to say to me, "Do you get it now? When you act irresponsibly, it's not just you that's affected most of the time. It's all of them. You have to think more about what you're doing, why you're doing it, and how it will affect others. For the X-Men, that doesn't just go for the teams we take on missions, it's mutantkind as a whole. Everything we do reflects on the entire species."
"Is this how it was before I got here?"
"…Yes," Miss Pryde said quietly, "I needed you to see this. You took responsibility for what you did to Julian and Santo. That's a good start. It means you accept responsibility. Now you need to understand responsibility as well. The things you do aren't just about you, even when you do them alone."
I didn't say anything back. I just watched until the end. It was all I could do.
Eventually, Eddie had been battered around one too many times and couldn't readily take flight again. That left Hisako at her mercy. Her armor protected her from anything that Spiral could do for the most part, but it didn't protect Ruth. There were only so many angles you could cover when your enemy was a magical teleporter.
"I hate this," I said, the palms of my hands were glowing as I pressed them against the glass. I could feel them warming up against the contrast of the cold surface.
She separated the two of them and moved in on the weaker link to try and whittle the team down to one. Holograms or not, everything in there still hurt for real and did actual damage.
"I know," Miss Pryde said, putting a hand on my shoulder, "End simulation."
With those two words, the battlefield landscape my teammates had been fighting on turned to the lifeless metal of the bare Danger Room. I didn't even want to walk down there with her. I felt so awful about not being there.
Yes, we likely still would have lost somehow, but we would have all went through it together.
Eddie moved around on the ground slowly, gingerly picking himself up, "Ugh," He was unsteady as he reached his feet, "Well that was just like old times, wasn't it? And I don't mean that in a good way, either."
"Sometimes, one or more of your team will be out of commission. It'll still be up to the rest of you to keep going," Miss Pryde explained to the others to try and smooth over any ill feelings from the doomed combat simulation, "Granted, this was done because of what Sol did the other day, but there's still a lesson to be taken from it on your behalf."
"Can any of our lessons not be painful?" Eddie quipped again as Hisako and Ruth also got up from the ground.