After this afternoon's fiasco, Julien and I, decided that it was best not to bring this conversation up again. I feel like we were both mentally tired to be dealing with any more information. Moreover, I was preparing myself to announce my pregnancy to my mother. I was terrified of her reaction. She had always picture me getting married before having a child.
"Have you decided about what you want to do?" Julien asked me, as he ate some pop corn. We were currently sitting on the grass in my backyard. The sun was out and nothing was better than calming my nerve in my backyard.
"I'm going to keep my baby" I announced without any hesitation. My mind was made. No one was going to change it. Julien nodded before letting his body fall on the grass. Her hands covered his eyes as he started talking.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"I am ready" I told him.
"If you are, I am too" Julien said. I stared at my best friend in gratitude. "I will support you. You will be well surrounded. The most difficult thing for you to do right now, is to tell your mother" Julien told me, while peaking through his fingers. He was blocking his eyes from the sun.
"I am freaking out" I admitted. I was scared of my mother's reaction. But I was sure that she was not going to leave me alone. Having sex with Hades, without any protection was irresponsible. It was our entire fault. Why should this little baby pay for it?
"You also have to tell Ella" Julien said casually.
"She is going to freak out" I sighed.
"Are you planning to tell Hades?" He asked me. I shrugged while thinking about it.
"I am not going to tell him. But I am not going to hide either. If he finds out, he finds out" I told him honestly. I was not going to tell Hades. It was selfish from me but I believe that he has his other responsibilities towards Hannah. It would be selfish of me to just go and expect him to support me during my pregnancy. I was well-surrounded. I didn't need him.
But I wanted him.
I was in love with him.
I was carrying our baby.
Our love.
If Hades really loved me, he wouldn't have slept with Hannah. Oh, I forgot to tell Julien about that part. I lied down on the grass, stared at the sky, appreciating the nice sensation that the sun was giving me.
"I forgot to tell you something" I started. Julien turned his head slightly to have a better look at me.
"How can you forget to tell me something?" He questioned in disbelief.
"Hannah slept with Hades yesterday" I said casually, deliberately ignoring the pinch that I felt in my heart as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Julien quickly sat up, staring at me in pure disbelief.
"How can you forget to tell me something like this?" He asked as if I was stupid. I shrugged while staring at him. His eyes were closed as he shook his head. "You guys were not even broken up yet" He stated. I nodded at his statement.
It hurts.
"Children!" We both turned to see my mother peaking her head out by the sliding door. She waved when she saw that she grabbed our attention.
"Come outside, mom!" I shouted back. She rose her head to look at the sun, then nodded.
"Let me take my shoes off" She said before disappearing inside of the house.
"Are you going to tell her?" Julien asked me.
"Yes" I muttered. I have to muster even courage to tell her about my pregnancy. I didn't really know what to expect from her. My mother was quite unpredictable.
Like me.
My mother walked outside barefoot. She was wearing a beautiful long summer dress. She had on her hat and glasses on. She had a bottle of red wine in her right hand and three wine glasses in the other one. Julien could see that she was struggling so he quickly stood up and went to garb the glasses from her.
"That's exactly what we need" My mother cheered.
Fuck.
I had alcohol in my system yesterday. I face palmed myself when I realize how stupid I was. Julien quickly ran inside as my mother settled next to me with her bottle of wine.
"Where did that boy go?" Mom asked curiously, eager to drink her wine. I inhaled deeply, trying to get rid of the lump that was forming in my throat. I was most probably going to ruin this moment for her. Julien ran out, with a bottle of apple juice and the glasses in his hands. "You're not going to drink?" My mother asked him, a frown forming on her face.
"It's for Luna" Julien said as he sat down next to us. My mother shrugged and started pouring down a glass for her and one for Julien. The longer I took to tell her, the longer it was burning my inside.
"Mom" I started.
"Do you want me to leave?" Julien quickly asked before I could continue.
"No, you're family" I quickly said. I needed him here. He nodded while my mother stared at us in utter confusion.
"What's happening?" She asked in worry. "Oh! For Marshmallows' sake, I can't get some time of rest, can I?" she asked herself.
"I'm pregnant" I quickly said and watched as she scoffed.
"No, you're not" she laughed.
"Yes, I am" I said.
"She is" Julien said at the same time.
"The doctor said that she was okay" My mother said in shock.
"I had to go again. I am pregnant" I repeated. My mother put her glass on the grass and took her hat off to push her hair back. She wiped her invisible sweat off her forehead. She exhaled then closed her eyes.
"Are you sure?" She asked slowly.
"Yes" I whispered.
"What are you doing to do?" She asked calmly.
"Keep it" I said in confidence. She was not pissed. She was just shocked.
"We'll do it together then" My mother smiled suddenly. I gulped as my eyes started getting teary.
"We'll do it together" Julien agreed as he lifted his glass to cheer with my mother.