"I wish you actually asked me before booking a session" I snapped while walking to my room. My mother and Julien were following behind. I was not ready to face all that again. Dr Alistair was going to bring me back my past all over again. This was inevitable.
"What's wrong with me doing so, Luna?" My mother asked me in anger.
"I am an adult! I think I would have been able to do so when I would feel ready" I scoffed. I turned around to look at her. She was trying her best but I wanted to go at my own pace.
"If I wait for you to be ready, you'll never be going there, Luna. We both know that" she said. This was the truth. My mother simply shook her head then walked away. I closed my eyes then took a few deep breaths.
"You're being a major asshole" Julien concluded. I opened my eyes to look at him. He seemed pissed. "You've literally just hurt your mother who is simply trying her best to help you" he shook his head in disappointment. "You might be going through some tough shit but at least you have your mother by your side, helping you through these shits and she's fucking protecting you" Julien snapped. "As much as you are going through hard times, she is as well" he continued. "now, stop being a major asshole and go apologise" he said before walking away. I ran my hands over my face. I didn't know what was happening to me. My emotions were all over the place and I had no control over them.
As I made my way to my mother's room, I started thinking about how I was going to apologise to her. When I heard sobbing coming from her room, I felt my heart twist slightly. I hated hurting my mother. I gently open the door to see my mother standing by her balcony. She turned to look at me before wiping her tears away.
"Oh, Mom" I whispered. "I am so sorry" I walked to her and wrapped my arms around her. She didn't deserve to be treated that way. I had no idea what had gotten into me. Maybe it was necessary for me to go meet Dr Alistair. "I am sorry, mom" I repeated as I felt my eyes turning teary. She wrapped her arms around me as well.
"Listen, Luna" she started. "You might be an adult but for me, you are still my little girl. I am going to do everything that I can to protect you" she continued. "I somehow feel that I have failed as a mother" I quickly pulled away when I heard her words.
"What are you even talking about?" I asked in bewilderment. "You're the best mother ever! You've done everything in your power to make me feel loved, cherished and most importantly safe. You have never failed as a mother!" I exclaimed in disbelief.
"I somehow feel like, I should have never made you do that fake relationship thing. I feel like I have sold your worth to your world just to get a few contracts" She sobbed. I scoffed before wiping her tears away.
"You didn't. You gave me the choice and I chose" I told her. "It was my decision and that decision made me create some amazing memories" I said. "It is what it is today. If I have to go to Dr Alistair to feel better, I will. But I don't want you to ever doubt yourself as a mother" I whispered. She took in a few deep breaths before sitting on her bed. I sat next to her and took her hand in mine. It has been a while since we haven't had a moment like this.
"Luna. I know that whatever is happening with Hades is really hurting you. I can see that you two have grown close together but please be careful" my mother whispered.
"I am careful" I lied.
'Yeah?" She asked with an eyeroll. "Why did Julien think that you were pregnant then?" She asked. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. I rolled my lips in my mouth then shrugged.
"Julien is Julien. You can never know what goes in his head" I responded after gulping.
"If you were sure that you were not pregnant then why ask me to stay out of the doctor's office?" She asked smartly. I playfully glared at her. I stood up then shrugged.
"Let's forget this. The good news is that I am not pregnant with Hades' baby. Hannah is" I said. I tried to joke over that but the lump that I was feeling in my stomach was very much there. I was holding too much inside. My eyes have turned blurry and the next thing that was happening, my tears were rolling down my face. My mother looked at me with pain. "I don't even know why I am crying" I lied. The fact that Hades walked off then didn't even bother to give me a call, showed how important I was for him.
"You're hurt, kay" My mother whispered as she pulled me again in her arms. I started crying even more. The cries were more painful. The heartbreak that I was filling. Somehow, the selfish part of me knew that if Hannah was pregnant, Hades would never leave her alone. He was rather leave me. Was I an option at the end of the day? I really hoped that Hannah was fine. Maybe this situation with Haded was just a way to answer my unspoken questions. "Everything will be alright with time. You just have to trust your heart and your own choices" she continued.
"i suck at making choices, mom" I sobbed. She wiped my tears away then cupped my face in her hands.
"That's how you learn. You make mistakes and you make sure not to repeat them again" She told me.