I am lost in the clouds. Ah~ My face is red, isn't it? D-Don't look at me like that… I'll get shy. Did you say eat up? Nice, nice, I feel like I haven't eaten in days.
"Wow~," Drowsily, I crawled nearer to the man offering me food. I saw a bowl of red velvet cookies in his hands. My hand swiped to grab it but it simply passed through it like air.
"Dude, what? Not cool of you. Give me my cookies!" My eyes are lidded as I try to grab the red velvet cookies from his hands. "Where! Is! It!"
"Mister Escavera." A deep, familiar voice protruded from my misty vision.
"That voice…" I gasp. Could it be? Could it really be him? The voice was familiar but I…
"I don't know this voice! Who goes there!" I spoke like a man from the Victorian era wearing a nightgown and a hat as pajamas who heard a rustling noise in his closet. "Good heavens. If you don't come and tell me your name, I will force you myself!"
A choked laugh belonging to a girl emerged and I definitely know who it is now.
"Erika?" I'm fully awake now, though my head and limbs are still sore.
She smiled, still giggling. She wore her usual army green zip up jacket over a graphic T-shirt and bleached, baggy jeans. "How do you do?"
I smiled back as I approached her, then shook her hand. "Doing well."
"Well?" The deep voice came from beside her. A tall middle aged man with buzzed hair. Oh no.
Looking away, I groaned. "Shit, shit, shit."
"Real shit, huh." Erika said. "I'm not going to lie, I helped this baldy because I was worried for you. Don't worry, he said nothing about expelling you."
"For real?"
Baldy coughed. "That's Mister Renault to you. And it doesn't mean I didn't say anything about expulsion, that I won't expel him."
"What?!" Erika and I said in unison.
Erika defensively rambled on how I had good grades and couldn't just be expelled because of family problems.
"Miss Del Mundo." Firmly, Renault said, "He overdosed Percocet in a park—"
"Yes. Not on the school campus." She replied through gritted teeth, showing her annoyance.
"—wearing our uniform and his wallet out, showing his school ID. Also, have you forgotten that, without a note from your adviser, you are not allowed to leave the school premises?" Renault glanced at her, his expression showed that all he said was facts. Erika looked defeated. She took a glimpse of me, all worried.
"Dude, you're the only person I can stand in that school. You can't get expelled."
I lightly punched her shoulder with my fist.
"It's fine." But I knew it was a lie.
Getting expelled meant going home to my sadistic father. The boarding school I just got expelled from wasn't that good. It was more of a prison rather than a school. But it was certainly better than buying cigarettes and cheap beer for my old man, the one who drove my mom to suicide.
Even in school, I was a nobody. I could count people who treated me nicely with one hand. I don't even know why. While I do come from a poor background, I'm not a bad person. I guess this is what they would call a 'mob.' Just an ordinary mob whom people just find too weird to talk to.
Hell, even my other classmates who are uglier and meaner than me get treated better for some goddamn reason.
Erika was the opposite of me. She was popular and people liked her eccentric vibe. She had a foul tongue but people found it a charming trait.
(I was average looking— a face you would forget in a few days. I was kind but I guess that wasn't enough to be treated well. Gosh, I really sound like an incel.)
But, unlike me, Erika was cool. She's into anything that is art; movies, books, shows, history, paintings, et cetera. She had her own way of living life. She didn't get good marks since she skipped school a lot. Yet her charming personality seemed to cause everyone around her to love her.
Why is that?
I clenched my fist, digging crescents into my palm. I was jealous. But she was still someone I considered a friend. I would never say it to her face.
Erika and Renault were staring at me. I seemed to have been lost in thought. I dazedly stare back.
"Escavera. Are you still high?"
Erika hummed. "I doubt Percocet can affect him that much."
"Shut your mouth or you'll be expelled too."
Erika came nearer to me, the back of our hands barely touching. She said, whispering, "I don't think that's too bad."
I get slightly flustered at the fact she was hinting that she was okay with getting expelled to hang out more with me. I kept my composure. Retracting my hand away from Erika's, I responded to Renault.
"I'm doing well now, thank you, Renault—"
"Mister Renault." The vein on his head looked like it was about to pop, his face was pink in anger.
"Yeah, yeah. What now?" I flick his skinny stature with my finger, trying to piss him off. Because this might be the last time I could have fun (with Erika.)
Renault bit his lip and his bottom lip is our of view. "Pack your things. Quietly as to not disturb those who are learning."
"All right. Drive us back?"
Renault sighed and walked towards his car. We follow suit.
-
The car ride back to boarding school was fun. I got to talk to Erika about all sorts of things that could've got me in trouble if I was still going to school.
Like that time I climbed a concrete wall with wires just to get out of PE, and ended up with bloody scratches on my legs. (Thank God Erika cleaned it. She's really nice.)
Or that time I smoked in a classroom after school hours with someone I didn't name. (If I did, it would get her in trouble too.)
It was nostalgic. Since I was twelve until now, seventeen, I was forced to be in this prison. As much as I am relieved to leave…
"I'll definitely miss you, Rika." I admitted, her nickname felt sweet on my tongue.
I couldn't meet her eyes. Since I was young, I thought I wasn't allowed to like anything since we couldn't afford much. It is so embarrassing and nerve-wracking to openly admit that you like something— that I need her.
"Yeah, me too." I can feel the way she's so gentle with how she talked to me. She's so nice and it really made me think what I'd do without her. She is irreplaceable to me.
Renault seemed to try not to eavesdrop. Which is kind of difficult when we're in an enclosed car.
"Anton." She said my name like it's the most delicate thing. "Contact me when you arrive at your mom's place."
I couldn't bring myself to tell her that the reason I doused Percocet was because my mom killed herself the day before, nor could I tell her that I wasn't allowed a phone at my father's place.
I probably won't see her again. My father's apartment is a whole state away.
I stifled my tears. "Y-Yeah. I will."
She embraced me tightly. For someone as athletic as her, she hugged me like I was fragile when I expected a tight embrace. Burying her face into my shoulder, I feel my shirt getting damp.
We stayed in that position for a long while. When she let go, I yearned for her touch again. I let my hands linger on her back a little longer.
"We're here. Out." That fucking boulder-looking shit interrupted us.
We were in front of the dormitory. A few more hours and I'll likely never see her again. Am I going to let it end like this?