TRIGGER WARNING : - MENTIONS OF RAPE, TORTURE, CHILD ABUSE, MURDER, DEATH.
SAGE POV
I am not gonna give this story one of those dramatic introductions, you know the ones that go like "oh im dying..." or "i realized i lost someone precious..." you know the introductions that make you wanna fast forward to the last chapter just to know what happened after that first line.
My story was supposed to end with being the life of an average teenager with no boy problems no academic stress, just plain, boring, simple but if it were that way i wouldn't be here trying so hard to tell you my story and not just mine, my best friends more like sisters and some others i never thought i would meet but i did and oh am i glad that i did.
This is not just a phase or a small part of life it was new people who forced their way into our lives and changed it, when i say change i mean a complete turn over, secrets out of their little box, oh how i wish they stayed in their box,
but the question would be,
Did I like the way my life changed?
Did I find comfort in the new people in my life?
Do I want it to go back to the way it was?
No answers, not because i don't know the answer but because there are too many answers and none of them actually gives you the right answer to any of those questions and so you will have to wait and find out, probably not all the way to the ending you will get some answers along the way, maybe I will get my answers.
Right answers are overrated.
I know i promised not to be dramatic but i think it comes with the fact that i'm frustrated right now with the clear lack of clarity about anything in and around my life which is making me angry on top of which i am already hot headed as hell and i thought venting would help but i have been texting my friends for an hour almost and they aren't replying, again as i said not to be dramatic but they usually reply really fast, when i say fast i mean within seconds unless its exam season or if their sick or you know dead which is very possible since the three of us are suicidal except the angel sent from i don't know if heaven exists but if it does then she's probably from there, the rest of us are very you know energetic not the right word i know maybe more like suicidal but not in a harm ourselves kinda way but we would do things that would make death wanna give us a kiss because as long as it looked fun or sounded fun we would go full speed at it.
I mean would you rather live a fun life and die young or live a long healthy but a very boring life?
Have you ever tried asking yourself that, I ask myself everyday.
Start with, Did I have fun today or was I boring human again?
Anyways, I don't usually talk this much but as i said i need to vent right now and i need someone to reply to all that i say literally.
GROUP CHAT :
Sage : Hello you guys? Where are all of you? If you are dead, how about sending me a snap of how you died, okay nevermind my bad, you're dead you can't move.
(i do talk to myself a lot)
No reply, all the messages are delivered but are not read or seen so i guess obviously no answer.
I get up with a sigh, grab a cookie that has been in my room since last night and put in my mouth biting into it slowly, you know something about it tastes better when it's a little old, grab my large oversized hoodie that has not been washed for over a week but it's the most comfortable to wear and head out with my headphones already on with loud music. I listen to all genres of music so it doesn't matter what I'm listening to, it just needs to be loud enough to block everything else.
You know they say out of sight out of mind but I think it's more like if you can't hear you don't have to worry about it in the first place. (I know im very confusing sometimes maybe all the time)
I scroll through my list of movies i haven't watched yet and decide to watch this documentary that has been on my list for sometime now. It's about a woman who kills her daughter's rapist in the most brutal ways. what that lady did I think is justifiable. Okay i'll just be honest, i don't think what she did is wrong at all but of course human rights exist don't they, i didn't really think a fifty year old man who rapes a seven year old girl, a girl who could be the age of his daughter would need to be protected by 'human rights' but the life sentence he received is not very fair either because apparently he did not just stop at raping her once but kidnapped her raped her multiple frickin times and then murdered her slowly in the most painful way and threw her body away.
If it were me i would torture him in so many ways he would beg me to kill him and then i would make him suffer some more and then kill him and donate his body to science, wouldn't that be an honour for him, undeserving of course.
I slap myself hard again, this has been the third time I have had thoughts like that today and I know if Sarah heard me she would have a stroke and would be bed-ridden for days.
Keep your mind clear Sage. (I say to myself and continue on my walk in this quiet, posh upper side of the city i live in) *rolls eyes.