I loved him more than anything in this world even though our marriage was based on arranged marriage I took it as my fate and loved him and support him. As time passes by I thought he loved me with all his heart like I do but my expectations always hurt me reality always turns different from what I expected it to be. What he shows up outside isn't what he was in inside. He never loved me. As time passes by, I became pregnant with Shi. I loved her very much because it's the token of love of my life. At that time I didn't know that the baby's girl or boy I just know one thing that I should give her love. He was very happy when he heard that I was pregnant. When I saw his smile a tip of hope light in my heart. Then one day Shi's father came home and asked me to go to hospital for check up to know what's the gender of the baby. I agreed with him thinking whatever the results is he'll love his baby but what awaiting me wasn't happiness but a disaster. After results came out finding that the baby's girl not boy he started to mentally and emotionally tortured me with many bad thing which I didn't expected to heard from him. He left us without anything left. What's left was just my baby and myself. Why I'm never going to find happiness in my life? Why this always happened to me?? Like this thousands type of thoughts running on my mind like this time passes by, my baby didn't give me a hard time as if she knows mom is having hard time and consoling me . I began to think happy memories because bad thinking is bad for my baby. After managing my thoughts and taking care of both of us time came when my baby came in this world... But an accident happened, I fall in road because it's crowded and I started to bleed I started panicking and some kind people called for an ambulance and admitted to hospital... phew* after many time passes I heard a baby crying... Her crying made me feel relieved and the doctor told me that the baby's delivered successfully and she's strong as her mom. Then she passed me my baby...
The first thing that came to me was my baby's very cute and adorable but her papa isn't here to see that. Then after some time, I came back home with my baby.
*Crying* why? Why? Why you left us without anything? This was your baby too... why you can't love her? * With depressed eyes* now we have nothing left (looking at sleeping baby) mommy can't do anything for you baby *crying* I think I should just die what's the point of living now? Yes only death is left ... (Wah.. wahh) * sudden realization* what's that thought just now (slapping herself) what're you thinking just now? How can you think like that? *Holding baby and crying* Mommy's sorry baby sorry I'm really sorry baby
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After some time passes by, the baby I used to hold began to walk and then run but I noticed one thing she never asked for anything like the other kids of her age do whatever I made she never once disagree nor throw any tantrum she just take it one time my dishes got more salty but she said it's delicious.. so delicious that she asked me to give my dishes too so she can eat later I realized that the dishes I made was so salty then she goes towards windows looking outside.. but when I asked her to go outside and make friends she said with a smile "it's ok mom I don't like making friends I just love spending time with you" with a smile I said " my baby love you" (hugging her back)
Like this time passes by but my baby never asked me for anything whatever and whenever I asked what she want she just said it's ok I don't want it... After some time passes she got a best friend whom she loved very dearly but after some time I began to show some changes in her behavior she's depressed but never showed to me she always acted happy in front of me little did I know that what my baby showed wasn't happiness from her heart but an act. Time passes by and she got a boy friend and sometimes he come over our house and have chat with us while having conversations I saw love for my baby in his eyes. He's always worried about her and know more about her than me her mother. I was happy to saw that my baby got a person by her side who's willing to do all and walk the path together no matter how difficult the path is. She's married with him after many ups and downs. And you know what they didn't get married until I give them blessings cute right. My body wasn't stable after that accident so my father took care of me and showed path to my baby to meet me. I know she's to take all difficulties for me but my baby I love you more than anything else in this world and baby Mommy's sorry that she can't do much for you but these things I can't say it to her because she finally found her happiness after so much hardship so I want my baby my little girl to always be happy from her heart â€ïž Eventhough I'm going to live with my father and will carry out my family business I'm very happy for my baby and I'm grateful for my parents love towards me and my baby <3
And one more thing, Many people said that she's strong as me but what I think is she's more stronger than me that's never going to change. Seeing her growth made me realize that I was very weak compared to her and help me maintaining my thoughts of not losing my hopes and with my baby I also learned many things in this journey. No matter how many ups and downs happens in life giving up is never a solution but fighting for it and paving the roads and making path isđ» so you too never loose hope you may think I'm a weak and didn't think much about my baby but with time I began to learn more and more and work harder than before . Now looking at my past self I think my present self is bit stronger eventhough I know it's not much but it's better than being weak right? slight progress make different results and I believe you'll do so too... Life is full of suprises and lessons dear so hold on to experience more and get unexpected results.