Sunday, May 4, 2021
So it has been a few weeks and well I have to go to an early class reunion, for the class of 2020 at culver community middle/ high school. So this is going to be fun. But well I did do my hair a whole new way and will I dyed it blonde and red streaks,and I am proud of myself I did shave half my head. I said fuck it. And did it. I have wanted to do it for so long and well I did. But well I got dressed in this offutt:
So I grabbed my purse, phone keys. And well I forgot I had my guitar in the back. And I didn't have time to take it out so I left it in there. But I had an hour maybe two hour drive ahead of me so well this is it.
At culver middle/ high school
So I got there after an hour since there was no traffic. And thank goodness for that. But when I got there I saw a crap ton of cars. And the thing is I am wondering why did they have a reunion now and not in ten ambye less years. But not under five. I rolled my eyes and got out with my purse. I walked a little and then I heard my name I don't know why someone did, " Haley?" I turned around to see Ashley. I said, " hi Ashley." She said, " you're wearing color I am so proud of you." I laughed and said, " yeah this will be the only time though. All of my black clothes and skinny jeans were in the laundry. So this was the last option. How are you?"
She said, " good. And your dad said he is coming to." I sighed and said, " okay. I saw him a few weeks ago. But well okay." So I went over to the bleachers. And well before I could walk up I heard someone call my name once again, " Haley?" I looked back to see an old friend of mine, Carrie. I said, " hey Carrie." She smiled and gave me a hug. She said, " you're wearing color. I am so happy." I laughed and said, " this is what I get for having all of my black clothing in the laundry. But how are you?" She said, " good good. Also your dad is wondering where you are." I nodded and said, " okay well do you know where he was last seen?"
She replied, " concessions stand." I nodded and said, " okay and can we catch up later?" She nodded and I left to find my dad. I saw him at the window I waited and said, " hey dad." He turned around with a pretzel in his hand. I laughed and said, " still a pretzel monster I see?" He laughed and said, " hi. Wanna bite?" I said, " no thank you I am not hungry." He then said, " Haley so I know you didn't want to have a sweet sixteen but well I was thinking that I could help you plan for your eighteenth sweet birthday." I can't believe this I know he wanted me to have a sweet sixteen but this is like my mother passed him.
I told him, " dad I don't get the point of it. Why you know I don't want to celebrate my birthday." He sighed and said, " please. It will be fun. Besides think of this as a good thing." I growled and said, " no dad. Don't okay just no I need to cool down when you stopped acting like my mother come find me." I stormed off and well I just felt tears stream down I went to my car, and just quickly grabbed my phone and just started to play my YouTube mix. And my ear buds were in so I put it in my head and hit play. Music is my only friend. That understands me and helps me think.
I can just clear my head. And well I smacked my head on the steering wheel. And said, " I wish I was normal. And I wish I was real. I just wish right now I am invisible and alone in a room."
I then didn't realize I was in my own head. I heard someone knocking on the window I got out and saw ash and Carrie. I said, " hi." They looked at me and Carrie asked, " why are you crying." I replied, " my dad is acting like my mother. And right now it is just-" I cried even more and they just gave me a hug I said, " thanks." Ashley asked, " please stop crying. I don't know what to do to help?" I said, " bring my mom back?" She gave me a tighter hug and said, " Haley she is in a better place." I suxked up my tears and said, " I know it is just I wish we would've left on better terms." Then I heard ash's boyfriend, michael. " should I come back I see crying." I laughed and she said, " it's okay. Just girl talk."
I smiled a little and said, " it's fine. Just family being weird." We had a big group hug and I then heard my dad ask, " Haley?" I pulled away from the hug and said, " yes dad?" He said, " I am sorry. Just forget what I said." I sighed and said, " okay. I kind of did when I was listening to music." He laughed and said, " I still She you have your head stuck in it?" I laughed and said, " dad music is my entire life. I don't know what I would do without three things. Family, friends, music." He smiled and I heard Carrie say, " hey I am going to go find Hayley. So see you later." She left and I said, " well I am gonna go later guys." I walked away and to the bleachers.
So I got to the bleachers and I felt my phone buzz it was a twitter notification. I clicked on it and it read, " okay so we finally chose a winner. And the winner is-" these words changed my life. " Haley ward." I fucking squealed and everyone looked at me. I ran off the bleachers and tried to find my dad. And soon I did I found him walking I said, " dad." I ran to him amped gave him a hug and said, " hiiii." He said, " okay what's with the mood change?" I said, " so thank the gods for twitter, guess what?" He said, " what?" I showed him my phone and he said, " and this is for what?" I explained it to him and I said, " this is the best fucking day ever."
Ash came over and said, " hey Haley, come with me." I said, " bye dad." I walked with her and said, " this is the greatest day of my life how are you?" She said, " okay mood change." I showed her my phone and explained, " this is so good I am so fucking happy." She gave me a hug and said, " okay so really quick Carrie and Hayley are looking for you." We found them and then I got a twitter message. " hi Haley so really quick you said you lived in Indiana right?" I texted back. " yes?" It texted back, " okay so we are on tour right now and we had a show in Chicago so is there any possible way you could meet us up somewhere?" I texted back, " I am at my high school right now so do you have anywhere close by?"
It texted back, " well where is the high school?" I texted back, " culver Indiana. Why?" It texted back, " we could meet you there since we are actually close by. We have our next show in Indianapolis and we don't play there till Wednesday so you're call." I said, " okay but just to warn you we are a town that is freaking small. But well this event ends around like ten thirty." It texted back, " okay well we are actually wow really close by so we will possibly be there in a hour an a half. So see you soon." I texted it back, " okay. And meet me in the front of the school. I will be the one by a tree."
So i shut my phone off and put my earbuds in but then Carrie pulled them out. I said, " hey I was about to listen to that. What's up?" She said, " why you so smiley." I said, " nothing much." Ash slapped me in the back of the head, " the fuck ash?" She said, " show them your phone." I smiled and showed them it and they had a blank stare. I rolled my eyes and said, " well if you see a big black bus pull in front of the school you will know why."
We talked a little more and I then said, " I am gonna go to my car. Text if you need me." So I went back to my car and I knew what I was going to do. I had my guitar, with me so I started to play music in my earbuds which flowed through my head, and well burnout by bear tooth started and well I just played along with it. And I played a few more songs and then I saw a black bus in the distance. I put my guitar in my car and shut that then went to the front of the school. And went under the tree.
I waited a few minutes but they stopped it and soon oh fuck my life. Inner fan girl just fucking dying right now. But well the people,e who came out were, Andy, ash, Danny from asking and well Juliet Simms just fuck my life right now. Trying so hard not to fucking panic the fuck out. But I said, " hi I'm Haley." They said, " hi, I'm Andy, this is my wife Juliet, and that is Danny from asking Alexandria." I said, " I kind of knew. I listen to asking, black veil, and Juliet." But she then said, " okay, well it is good to meet you and congrats.." I said," thank you." Andy said, " okay so this was kind of easier to meet up with you and well since we are on tour it is easier. But well I guess we should ask a few questions."
I nodded and said, " okay." He said, " what made you decide to enter the contest?" I replied, " well for one music is my entire life. It has gotten me through hell. And well another reason is that I have always loved to sing and play guitar, but I just had this passion for it so I set my mind and made it my dream, and if I get enough money I am moving out of here. And starting with a baby steps." I saw the expression on there face and Juliet said, " wow. If you would move where would you move?" I said, " Los Angeles California." They slightly laughed and well I then heard my phone go off meaning I heard immaculate misconception play as my ringtone. Fuck, I said, " I am so sorry. I forgot to mute it."
Andy and Danny slightly laughed and I said, " may I take this really quick?" They all nodded and I walked over to the side for a minute nad I answered the call.
Conversation: Haley and Ashley
H: hello?
A: where the fuck are you?"
H: talking to people
A: who?
H: if I told you you wouldn't believe me.
A: fair enough but what the hell is a bus doing here?
H: me talking to people and contest ring a bell?
A: no shit?
H: listen I have to go talk to you later ash.
A: Haley don't you dare hang up on me.
I did hang up and shut my phone off so it would be a distraction. I went back and said, " I am so sorry about that my friend was wondering where I was wondering where I was and I told just ext but nope." They laughed and Danny said, " well if you do move out to California which that might happen. Good luck, and well we could tell her that next month we could start recording?" Andy said, " that might work. So Haley what do you think could you possibly fly out to la for a few weeks?" I said, " yeah. That is okay. Just let me know when." They nodded and then a horn honked I said, " I take it you guys have to go?" They said, " yeah. And good luck Haley see you in a month." I waved by and well I just met my idols well fan girl just died of a heart attack. But the bus left and I went back to the fetid and well. Ashley pulled me in a hug.
I said, " room getting darker." She pulled away and Carrie, Hayley, and my dad walked over and I said, " hi." My dad asked," why was there a big black bus in front of the school?" I said, " my Idols." My dad looked at me confused and I said, " I am not joking. I know I sound crazy even though I already am but well yeah." Ashley asked, " what do you mean ' idols'?" I said, " well you know how I like bands like black veil brides, motionless in white asking Alexandria, pierce the veil, sleeping with sirens. Those bands?" They nodded and I said, " well I just met Andy from black veil, Juliet Simms Andy's wife, and Danny from asking." Their mouths dropped and I said, " well also I am going to be in Los Angeles for a few weeks next month. So that is going to be fun."
I then heard my name being called once again, " Haley?" I recognized the voice but I was going to play stupid. I turned to see my ex Chris. Kill me now. I said, " I'm sorry do I know you?" He said, " wow don't even know your own ex that's a little harsh" I then said faked shocked, " Chris? Wow you have changed I don't even recognize you." He said, " same. How have you been?" I said, " I have been pretty good right now but lately he'll." He said, " well do you wanna maybe catch up?" I said, " sure. Let's walk," He got a head start I mouthed, ' kill me now.'
I caught up to him and said. " hi stranger. So how are you." He replied, " I have been good what about you little miss smiley." I said, " well today I have been great, but other days not so much." He asked, " aw why's that?" I said, " missing my mother." He said, " why don't you go visit her?" I said, " I don't know where her ashes are." He looked down quick and said, " I am sorry I shouldn't of brought it up. But switching topic, do you know why there was a bus here?" I laughed and explained it to him. His mouth dropped and I said, " and next month I head out to Los Angeles."
One month later: June 7
So I have done it I bought myself a small apartment in Los Angeles and well I got my stuff already shopped down there, and well I have my two bags for carry on. Well one at least as a carry on. And that is my purse,but well I have two suitcases and the rest shipped. I sold my bed with the house. And well I did order this bed bunk office frame. So the structure will look like this and I am switching the bedding for
but my room I am adding all my band posters. And I am going to make this one for the sidewall on the inside of it:
So i have to decorate and well I haven't texted them and told them yet so this will be a surprise. But hopefully a good one at that. But well this is going to be great and well I do have plans for the next few months besides recording. So I quit my jobs and my last paycheck was a raise. That is fucking awesome. But well I have saved up a few hundred dollars, and my two paychecks that adds up to 4,000 dollars my paychecks weren't that big, only a thousand. And I worked like basically all day and half the night. But well I did save up two thousand so that is how I have four thousand.
But well moving on so right now I am on a plane to California and I did say bye to friends and family. But well the hardest way to say bye to my dad. But I told him I would try and call every day. So for now listening to music and catching up on sleep.