Sunlight shone onto Farel's face as he stood staring at Aisyah's back. Every scenario of life in his memory was replayed with the song of the canaries dancing up there.
He knew that the canary was not related at all, but merely livened up the atmosphere. But if asked why he had come here, he believed he was more of a suitable entity to replace the canary. More real than background. He thought so and he almost turned back.
But the words ... made him look back at Aisyah's school uniformed back, which was drenched in sweat. He did not care though. He extended his hand instantly without any conversation with his own body. The fictional story is created by that action, then confronted by two different scenes and he is unable to reach it.
"I…"
With that one word, Aisyah looked back and was met with eyes that shriveled up like a dead man's, perhaps she felt familiar with the voice.
"Farel?" replied Aisyah, her face beautiful from every angle to make Farel's heart beat fast.
Nevertheless, Farel's expression seemed determined, before letting out a long breath, and saying:
"Don't you want to be my girlfriend?"
That one question brought a story and unleashed an entire structure onto the world stage. Aisyah was speechless. If you say she wasn't surprised, she probably wasn't. After all, his eyes widened like he was watching someone being stung by a bee. Only, as time went on the wind got carried away and blew everything away, like the feelings of one who had now wandered off to who knows where. Aisyah then opened her lips...
***
The sound of scribbling, scraps of paper from the back seat, gossip and rumors. He heard it all from his seat while playing with a pen with his right hand. His left hand? happily supporting the chin of a slacker.
He was not handsome, but he could not be considered ugly. Because humans are viewed equally by God. So, let's just say that he is an ordinary person who exists everywhere. However, this ordinary word is also inseparable from the market-like atmosphere of the class. He bit his lip hard but said nothing.
At this moment someone surprised him by tapping him on the shoulder. He almost jumped up and cursed a lot.
"I think you like Aisyah, Rel," said the man, Farel's classmate.
He knew this man, a person who could be called crazy. So much so that he could be known in the same school. It was enough to make him squint, then pause. He sighed and said, "You're weird."
"I just wanted to try it out. I've seen in the book the art of speech that just one sentence can make people feel hypnotized."
"You're crazy, you want to hypnotize me!"
"Use ask," he said with a grin. "But before that, listen to what I have to say. Look at Aisyah."
He believed everything that would come out of this man's mouth would be nonsense. So he wasn't afraid to look to the side even though he was told there were ghosts and all that. So he turned to Aisyah and fell silent.
The message from heaven was delivered from the seventh heaven and is now right before our eyes in all its beauty. The word 'beautiful' can be said to have been stuck with a golden light deep inside her head!
"How, does it affect you? Isn't it beautiful?"
Before listening to those annoying questions, he couldn't believe that such nonsense could make him shake his head. "No! It's normal."
"Really?" The man squinted. Today you could call him a crazy man! Then he left while muttering in a soft, weak tone. "Strange... it doesn't matter anyway." In between, her words paused for a moment. "Did I get tricked by that book?"
He himself continued to stare at the crazy man until he disappeared somewhere. A minute wasn't enough to calm him down! He waited for two minutes and a half before turning to Aisyah who was smiling like a flower that had bloomed under the sun's glare. Her seat was far back, but her smile spoke with all the words and unique phrases that could not be interpreted.
Do I like it? he muttered as he supported his chin.
As the atmosphere came back to life, he believed only the sound of Aisyah's pen was the most beautiful of all! As Aisyah slid her pen over the blank sheet, he felt like she was right beside him! He even anticipated that if Aisyah's pen shifted to the upper right, then she was writing down the date, the month, right on the navy blue cover of her book!
Maybe it could be said that instead of that crazy guy, Farel was even crazier. Why? Because when he imagined Aisyah talking to a friend, he was as happy as if they were smiling together in a movie scene. However, if it was possible, it was only Aisyah who seemed the most flowery.
While she was imagining it all. Someone bumped into Aisyah who was writing. Farel's eyes widened and his body stood up. But then the bell rang. He dismissed the excuse to come to Aisyah's side and ask 'are you alright?'. Instead his gaze spoke to refocus on the still white and shiny whiteboard, which would be dirty as soon as the teacher entered the classroom.
***
At 12:00 the bell rang. He had no reason to come to her, but his body told him that he didn't need a reason! No, if you call it a reason, he probably had one. Like worrying about what happened earlier!
If you look closely, Aisyah is really beautiful. he muttered. He was really close to Aisyah, but he couldn't think of anything to say with his silent mouth. He was nervous.
"Aisyah, are you okay?" he said as he looked away and scratched his cheek with his index finger.
"Uh, what does that mean?" Aisyah tilted her head. She's like an innocent child who doesn't understand the world!
"That's... I saw you, emmm… was hit by someone."
Aisyah immediately realized that. She clapped her hands. "Oh that, I'm fine."
"I see."
If you look at someone's gloomy past is there anyone who would say that? It must be very embarrassing. Everything in this world is probably worth a laugh watching a clown show. It's his first time and he's never been like this before, it could be the main cause as mentioned by the crazy man, which makes him awkward to talk!
But who would have thought that this scene would be so quiet and still for so long. The silence alone was suspicious, so even Aisyah, who was now smiling gently, would also be suspicious. "Do you still need anything?"
"Oh, no! Okay, bye." Farel's lips twitched slightly, then he tilted his head. "Yeah?"
That performance really deserves to be called an award. The clown award! The joke suited Aisyah who had to chuckle cutely while covering her mouth trying to hold back laughter. "You're funny. You're usually such a quiet person, but I didn't expect you to be this awkward."
"That's how I am in your eyes." Farel then took a stool and sat beside Aisyah.
They were both talking in their own world. It got to the point that people in the class started whispering all they wanted that the two were dating and would openly hold hands when they got home. But none of their words were as sharp as the ones that could even scratch their walls. In the following moments the topics they discussed were much more specific, more detailed, while laughing and smiling. Then it ended with Farel, whose lips twitched slightly. Do I have to ask for her cell phone number too? he muttered. His eyes were still glued to Aisyah, who was now smiling very sweetly.
He couldn't stop his heart from pounding. He was afraid, he was afraid that it could be heard. What if Aisyah's ears were so sensitive? He could only pray constantly that it would never happen! Nevertheless, he couldn't let go of his mission!
"Eh, you have Instagram, don't you? Let's follow each other!" said Farel. He's much bolder on the outside! It wouldn't be brave if he asked for her WA number now, but that doesn't mean he has the guts to ask for her Instagram account!
Aisyah smiled. "Okay," she reached into her pocket and retrieved her smartphone, which she showed to Farel.
He took a little peek and immediately memorized Aisyah's nickname on Instagram. After that, he immediately opened his smartphone and searched for Aisyah's profile, then pressed the follow button. Aisyah did the same once the pop-up notification appeared.
He felt the happiest. He felt like he was going to jump up and down on his bed to show how happy he was. Nevertheless, he was curious about the profile photo Aisyah was using, it was a bit unusual.
"Where did you take the photo, it's so unfamiliar to me." Farel placed a comment before closing the smartphone again. Anyway, he had to continue this conversation until he was satisfied. How selfish, indeed.
Aisyah fell silent for an instant. Her eyes stared at Farel's innocent face. From there it could be seen that silence was implied in the previous words. In the next second she felt the rose petals blooming. "I forgot."
"That's it, I have class soon. I haven't eaten yet."
Farel implied that he was reluctant to stop this conversation. But inevitably he had to put Aisyah's interests above his own. He could only sigh. I'm already following each other anyway, at least there's progress. He muttered while appearing disappointed. He got up from the bench and returned to his seat where he had been whispering longingly.
***
At four minutes past five, the bell screamed again. Half an hour until he arrived home and lay down on the bed he had missed. His head turned to the right side, his hand reached into his pants pocket, took out his smartphone and placed it right in front of his eyes. He checked Aisyah's Instagram. Afterward he pressed the message button and typed:
"Hiii!"
He waited a minute or two until he took a deep breath and exhaled. Despite the long wait he didn't feel annoyed. It was only natural that Aisyah hadn't checked her smartphone yet. Not that there was any chance she was on the road, or perhaps... at this moment, his eyes caught that she was typing! His heart honestly said that he was happy.
"Hi there!"
He rolled around like a child. The person probably didn't realize. They don't even realize they're smiling. Seeing him was like being mad. Soon, his fingers moved like a bird released from a cage and ready to flap its wings in the sky.
"Aisyah has arrived home yet? Nothing happened on the way, right?"
Then he waited for Aisyah's reply not as long as before.
"I've arrived."
The reply this time was also heartfelt. However, he was silent. Let alone his body, his fingers were the same. What should I ask next? He muttered as he brought his thumb to his lips.
Then he traveled deep into memory, looking for a chance to see the petals of a blooming rose. But he stopped when every corner of his eye caught sight of Aisyah typing. He felt that this typing would change something…
"I want to tell you. Incidentally, I've also told my friends too. Actually, next month I want to relocate. I don't know where yet, but my father told me that we're moving out of Java as a family. I'm sorry for suddenly telling you this. You're the only guy friend I know. I've also thought about just staying quiet, I wanted to just not tell you about it. But now that I think about it, it feels cruel if I don't say anything."
Was the world really that cruel? Or should she blame fate. His entire body froze, while his eyes read it all from side to side.
"I see..."
"I'm sorry. I hope you'll still be my friend even though we're on different islands."
That was the last reply he saw. His eyes met with a pitch-black color. He dropped his smartphone on the side and left it lying there lit up with answers from classmates on WhatsApp who were messaging with annoying stickers.
"...D*mn it!"
***
The days went on as usual. Nothing has changed, not a single thing. Just someone in an unusual mood. He opened the door in the morning, where no one was inside or out. His eyes glanced at the whiteboard and found scribbles, one of which was Farel x Aisyah. He looked at it and squinted. "She must be disgusted when she sees this."
"Let it go, I don't care anymore." He walked to his seat. He hated that seat, I don't know what was wrong with it. When he was ten meters away, he threw his bag onto the bench. Then he turned around and walked out of the classroom, tucking his hands in his pants pockets. It was the cafeteria.
As he exited the classroom, he looked up. The distant clouds stretching above were darker than when he left earlier. "Overcast." He believed that it would drizzle soon. Maybe ...The world is shedding its tears for me? Heh... He smiled, but frowned again. Nevertheless, he did not stop going to the cafeteria.
Arriving at the cafeteria, there weren't too many people to be seen, the ones he knew were only a matter of fingers. One person from the next class greeted him by raising a glass of brownish water and saying hello.
"You're already drinking coffee this morning," Farel said. He still looked annoyed. However, he was forced to smile when she said that.
"Let it be, I like it," he replied, " by the way, I heard that you're close to Aisyah."
Farel narrowed his eyes. "How do you know?"
"By word of mouth." He shrugged his shoulders.
Then both sides fell silent. Until one side sipped its coffee. "So it's true," he said with a mocking grin. "When will you confess?"
Farel was not provoked by the teasing. Instead, he replied casually because he had prepared a reply when he got home. "I dunno, I don't think I will confess."
"What's wrong? How stupid," he mocked, again sipping his coffee. "There must have been some incident that made you hesitate to confess."
"That's it." Farel smiled mockingly. "I doubt it because she said she wanted to move house."
The coffee from his mouth sprayed out and he looked back at his in surprise. "D*mn it! That's why you hesitated."
"She said she wanted to leave the island."
"I see... it's really difficult." He looked up at the sky, which was still dark from when he was in the cafeteria. Then he turned to Farel. "But I advise you to confess now. Instead of regretting it later."
The words were not wrong, and hearing them from the mouth of the next classmate really made him want to grind his teeth. He also turned his head but didn't say anything. For some reason he left without buying anything from the cafeteria. He just nodded to the next class as a thank you, then turned around and waved goodbye. Believing that those words shone the brightest in his heart.
Since the class and the cafeteria were not very far away, he arrived within a minute. But when he reached the classroom door, he stopped and listened to the gossip from inside. Someone was talking about him. And between them, her voice sounded familiar. It was soft. Aisyah...
"Uh, Aisyah, do you like Farel..." Her tone was joking, but Farel's ears caught it seriously and clearly. Curiosity was piqued with every word. He was eager to hear the next sentence, but from the other side.
"I…"
However, Farel then fell silent as he looked down. he had heard that answer come into his ears with a tone of voice so mellow that it could tickle people! However, he could only smile back.
He was forced to go inside, outside was meaningless. He believed so. Destiny was clearly written. The doorknob was turned and the door swung open. He walks in looking happy. The look on his face had just been born from the fetus but he didn't cry. There was no word of regret in his heart. Although Aisyah and her conversation partner widened their eyes as they stared, he was not bothered. He lived in his own black-and-white world!
His narrowed eyes briefly glanced at Aisyah, then turned back to his seat. He was alienated. Where the tables scoffed, the benches laughed contemptuously, and the whiteboard seemed to write itself with every word that had to sound bad to his ears. At that moment, he was far away from the world.
***
The homecoming bell rang. He got up from his seat, and hurried away from there. His destination was home. To go back to sleep and close the curtains on all this nonsense like it never happened. In other words, he tried to escape, thinking it was all just a dream that never happened in reality. That's what he thought. It's just that...
"Hey..." someone tapped Farel on the shoulder, making him stop walking.
He turned his head back slowly and looked at her sarcastically. "What?"
He was the man who tried to hypnotize Farel with useless words, perhaps? Crazy man! But he gasped. He removed his hand from Farel's shoulder and took a step back. Really, did you ever think that Farel would show a reaction so horrifying and unworthy of the naked eye? Probably not, especially not for him.
"I have something to say to you!" he said firmly. He really meant it!
"..."
"I know, my hypnosis worked, right. Now I'm asking, do you like Aisyah?"
"What are you talking about, retard" Farel turned around and walked again. Speeding up his footsteps slightly.
However, this crazy man suddenly stood in front of Farel. He overtook him while spreading his arms! When Farel moved to the right or left, he even blocked him and did not let him pass.
"You've lost your mind!"
"You're the crazy one, not me!"
"You freak!"
"You're the one who's a freak. Listen to me first. You won't be able to get away with what I say."
Farel was silent for a moment, then sighed and exhaled a long breath. Maybe he had given up on debating with the crazy man in front of him. He's kind of a stubborn person, or maybe he is.
" Good!" The crazy man grinned happily. "I know you like Aisyah, and you can't deny it."
"F*ck you!" Farel was really upset. He wanted to punch this crazy man in the face!
"LISTEN TO ME FIRST!!!"
Farel was startled. His body shivered instantly and he obeyed in silence while widening his ears.
"I've been watching you since I tried to hypnotize you, I noticed you suddenly came to Aisyah, I also heard you asked for her Instagram. Then I can conclude that you must have gotten her WhatsApp number, right. I've guessed from this that you really like her. Did you hear all the gossip that's been going around lately? That's because of me!"
Uwahhh... this kid is really crazy. He muttered while still silently listening. He was no longer annoyed but instead was curious about what else this crazy man would say.
"Did you read the writing on the whiteboard this morning? Do you know who wrote it? It was me too!!! and I've been watching you since you came in, you left it there and didn't try to erase it!
"I don't know why you're not looking around like you usually do. You didn't even realize that my bag was in class. Pretending to be ignorant, that's what I thought at first. But now that I think about it, it could be because your mood was already down before entering the class! So I guess something must have happened in the chat, maybe some news from Aisyah that she likes someone else, or she's already dating."
The crazy man paused for a moment, and continued, "Or she wants to relocate."
Farel gasped. He had no idea that his crazy friend could guess that far from such little information!
The change in his expression revealed a fact! Of course this man in front of him smirked, after all he did not escape observation. "I think the most correct one is the last one!
"After that you went to the cafeteria. You went home determined... that's right, you were determined, but you stopped at the classroom door...
"She... no, I should have said, Aisyah. She said,"
He took a deep breath. "She doesn't like you."
It's over. It's over. he guessed it... he thought. Nevertheless, he remained still on the surface like a calm ocean. This time his expression was really well guarded so he couldn't tell the truth.
"Looks like what I said was correct." The crazy man knew that Farel would keep his expression after he guessed right earlier. So the next correct answer was when he pretended to be calm! The crazy man turned around and left happy.
"My advice is, you have to make up your mind right now. In the cafeteria you already know the answer you'll get if you confess. The answer is still the same, it's just that what you experienced that morning was accelerated in time. So why are you scared now?" Waving goodbye, he disappeared into the background and hid from the curtain. It was an ending that no one could have predicted, but the impact was so powerful for him.
Farel gritted his teeth, determined to show that he was cooler than 'him' who was so cool with his crazy role!
***
This afternoon there was more happiness than usual. It can be seen from Aisyah and her friend who are now talking and laughing heartily.
However, she grew tired of her friend's jokes that weren't funny anymore. She missed 'him' who always stood out. Aisyah opened her smartphone and her eyes glanced from left to right reading the message from the name displayed with the emote of a man. Before she finished reading, Aisyah stopped which also stopped her friend's steps.
She turned to Aisyah with a tilt of her head. "What's wrong?"
"Sorry, I think I have some business." Aisyah smiled wryly.
Aisyah had known her friend for a long time, so it was the same for her. She knew her friend was a sensitive person, so it must have been easy for her to immediately understand Aisyah's point.
"I'll be waiting here," she said as she looked at her pink watch. "Ten minutes."
"Thanks." Aisyah waved before turning around and leaving her friend alone who curled her lips, then looked up at the sky.
"Romance, huh." The voice sounded soft, as soft as a mother whispering affectionate words to her child.
Aisyah didn't hear what her friend said, nor did she turn her head. She only vaguely felt her friend supporting her from behind, though she didn't know what that support was for. Still, she ran with all her might towards the place where 'he' was waiting.
Halfway down the road, she glanced to her right and faced forward again. She had passed the traffic light. Then the two-story school building came into view. Her legs grimaced softly asking for a break, but limping was not allowed. She must climb the stairs from this moment on!
She forced her unexercised legs to stay glued to the second floor. When she reached her destination, there was no one there. Why...? Aisyah muttered, sweat pouring from her body. She didn't care about the school uniform that would stink of sweat. But instead it makes it wet from every side. She just, just did not expect to be deceived by 'him' who was a friend. Could she believe being deceived by a person she called a friend.
"Aisyah,"
Farel... she murmured with a smile. She was not wrong to believe him! But... this feeling, this tone of voice... One thing is for sure that the world is now happily witnessing an epilogue that is locked to the exact same word as the smile on someone's face.
But for her, should she just accept the destiny that has been written? Why did the story she wrote from a friendship become a story...
"I love you..."
That's right. She believed the story would end this way when she heard him mention 'Aisyah'. She trembled, afraid, but she had to turn back and face him directly. Her lips trembled, and she held it in. As her eyes caught sight of Farel's face... her pupils fluttered as well. The curtain on this show she believed would close in a moment and all it took was one word with a thousand meanings, no, a million meanings, to tear the world apart.
Her face was distressed. She pursed her lips before saying,
"I'm sorry."
"I can't be yours."