At 2:00 AM, her mother entered the room wearing her customary revealing attire.
Rosa, maintaining a facade of slumber, closed her eyes.
Mary sat on the bed and sighed. "I need to treat infection again! Gosh! But that big thing entered well though".
Rosa was nine.
Ever since she was born, her mother had trained her in school with the money she earned as a prostitute.
Mary smiled and kissed Rosa lightly on her forehead. "My dear child, when you grow up, please be the opposite of mummy. I wasn't able to establish myself as a fashion designer because of my love for sex. Become a fashion designer and steer clear from men that would want to use you".
Rosa internalized those words.
Each evening, her mother, Mary assumed the responsibility of preparing dinner before departing home at 10pm.
At school, she endured jests as the news of her mother's profession circulated.
The entire class was aware of her mother's occupation as a prostitute.
Rosa woke up the following morning to her mother's reminder.
"It is almost eight. You will be late for school. Take your bath before your school gets cold." Mary said in her usual hoarse voice.
Hastily, Rosa bathed and adorned her school uniform after a quick breakfast, proceeding to leave the house.
As she walked, tears welled up in her eyes, which she wiped away.
Deliberately arriving late to school became a routine, subjecting herself to punishment and immersing in the resultant pain.
Throughout her life, she had embraced pain as a catalyst for growth.
At times, she intentionally inflicted harm upon herself, using the ensuing pain to enable her locked emotions.
Inflicting herself helped her to cry.
The disparaging comments from Natasha, her classmate about her mother, Mary, echoed in her ears, yet she adeptly concealed the tumultuous emotions churning within her.
Despite the inner turmoil, she managed to greet Natasha with a composed grin. "Natasha, how are you doing?".
The young girl exhibited clear astonishment at Rosa's response.
Throughout classes, her peers intentionally avoided her due to parental warnings.
Speculation circulated that she would mirror her mother's life when she grows up.
After school, she traversed the journey home in solitude, leading an isolated and detached existence since the age of nine, yearning for physical distress.
Upon arriving home, she abruptly halted upon observing a gathering in front of her residence.
Hastening to the scene, she discovered her mother's lifeless body, prompting a collective recoil from the onlookers.
"Someone shot your mother this morning . She had gone out to buy food stuff and someone in a blue RAV 4 shot her in daylight! I witnessed everything". An elderly man confessed.
Rosa was overcome with emotion as she gazed upon the scene.
Her mother was covered up in blood.
She closed her eyes, swallowing the immense pain.
Hurriedly entering the house, she sank to the floor, covering her ears to find solace in the silence.
Subsequently, she positioned both hands on her ears, attentively embracing the tranquility of silence."Rosa, she is finally gone. You will be fine. You will be fine okay?". She comforted herself.
After a thorough search of the house,she discovered an old grey book her mother had frequently written in.
With a deep breath, she opened it, ready to unravel the mysteries within.
She ultimately located an aged, gray tome, frequently observed as the repository where her mother documented various thoughts.
Upon discovery, she proceeded to open its pages.
First page.
'That old haggard bastard...I won't forget how he was always wearing mother's ring'.
'That old haggard that fateful Wednesday had raped me'
'He had raped me so much that I began to love it'.
Second page.
'The first man I loved had used me to get Juliet jealous. His seed, for the first time in my life I couldn't abort it no matter how hard I tried'.
Third page.
'Andrew, she is so beautiful. I named her Rosaline. I pray she doesn't end up like this '.
Fourth page.
'You know one thing with prostitution? If you ever start it, you will end up running back to it forever when things get a little bit hard'.
Fifth page.
'Andrew, she knows that I am a prostitute. I am sorry for being so useless'.
Sixth page.
'I hate my life'
Seventh page.
'I hate my life'
Eighth page.
Rosa grappled with a complex blend of empathy towards her mother and a desire to distance herself from the situation.
She screamed and grit her teeth. "Where is my father? I think he must be a rich man somewhere! Where did she hide his identity?"
She forcefully dislodged the shelf, causing papers to scatter across the floor.
Upon hearing approaching footsteps, she turned to find their neighbor, Uncle Jackson, who had a close relationship with her late mother.
Wondering if he possessed any insights about her father, she contemplated the possibility.
She searched his eyes. "My father's name is Andrew. Do you know him?It is clearly written right here". She forced the book into his hand.
He gasped at her. "Your mother just died".
"Is my father rich?I only want to know his identity if he is rich".
"Are you not going to get justice for your mother?".
She burst into laughter. "Justice? For the first time in my life, I feel so relieved. I am no longer a prostitute's daughter!".
"She did all that because of you!".
"No! She did all that because she enjoyed it!do you know what I hear every time I pretend to sleep? She says things that I don't even want to hear. Words like...'his thing was big!'". She rushed to the wardrobe and brought out all the clothes. "Look at these beautiful dresses! She made them for me! Why didn't she design dresses like every other normal person? She knew that I was very much aware of her occupation but that didn't even stop her! You can't even imagine how I felt all the time! Sometimes I feel like my heart will explode! It was too much for me! I was isolated and I could only cry in the toilet because I had to hide everything from everyone! I have never enjoyed my childhood because of her! I hate her!". She grabbed his hand. "Uncle, please help me! I want to be the woman I wanted my mother to be. I want to design dresses and make money. I want to leave here and forget everything!".
Tears filled his eyes as he stared at her. "You have grown too fast mentally, Rosa".
"Uncle, I want to be a virtuous woman".
"Virtuous woman?".
"A woman who has faith in God, who honors and fears God, who remains loyal and helpful to her husband, and who is selfless to her children and society. All those, I will prove to everyone that even if I am the daughter of a prostitute, I can still keep my moral standard regardless of everything ".
"You are so intelligent ".
"Do you know my father?".
"Andrew Anderson. The CEO of Globe shipping company. He has a wife and three sons".
"Can you give me his home address?".
"Your father wouldn't want to see you. He is known around the globe".
"He has sons but no daughter. That is to my advantage ".
"His legal wife doesn't know about you".
"...then she will know about me soon, then. What is their home address?".
"How will you cope? They will maltreat you there".
She chuckled and lifted her dress, exposing hard bruises. "I gave myself this injury daily so that I would learn how to cry. It helped me cry, growing up".
He gasped. "You are such a strange child".
"I need my father's money because I want to become a great fashion designer. Both of us are poor but I need my father's money to become all that I have looked out for in my mother".