** Harper **
The sky might as well have just collapsed.
He … not only read every chapter, but had even been waiting for her updates every day? Did he have too much spare time that he didn't know what to do with?
It took Harper a while to find her voice back. "Y-You didn't have to read it!" She wished she could dig a hole in the ground and disappear through it. "I mean, I know how crappy my story is. It—"
"Don't ever call your work crappy, Harper. Writer's rule number one, always be confident with what you create. You can't make someone else fall in love with your story if you don't love it yourself first."
Eli's tone seemed to have just changed with that statement. He sounded serious now, professional. "Besides," he added, "I've been doing part-time editing for a while, and I'm being honest when I say your writing is quite smooth. Outstanding for a first-timer, actually. Nothing crappy about it at all."
Harper blinked. She wasn't sure if she should feel flattered by such a compliment, or more mortified that Eli had put such earnest effort into evaluating her indecent story. A curious thought emerged in her head: did he really think this book wasn't that bad?
How did he like those intimate scenes then?
… !!! What the heck was she thinking? "Um, thanks for the vote of confidence," she said quickly, as if uttering some words could help to drive those silly thoughts out of her mind. "I wish more readers could agree with you. They clearly think there's a bit too much room left for improvement."
"They agreed that your early chapters were catchy. The emotional buildup was natural and relatable, and the tension was well paced. You wouldn't have hooked so many readers so quickly otherwise." Eli paused ever so briefly. "The only place where you could use a little extra work is where things get bold."
Where things get bold. Oh great, so he did find those scenes unsatisfactory … Harper whimpered internally in agony. She could flush her reputation down the toilet now. The guy she'd had a crush on for years had read every word of her secret fantasies, and had found it unsatisfactory. Could anything get more embarrassing than this?
"I can tell you've put a lot of effort into editing those chapters," Eli continued, oblivious to her inner turmoil on this side of the phone. "Your sentences are well polished, and your descriptions are quite detailed. But the crux of the problem isn't there. Instead of spending more time editing, I'd suggest that you take a step back and rethink the big picture."
He still sounded serious and professional, like he was focusing solely on trying to help her analyze the story. But Harper knew she shouldn't let this conversation go any further in that direction. He was getting into too much detail now, and she couldn't handle any deeper discussion on this topic, not when it was Eli. She should find an excuse to stop this call before he starts teaching her how to write a non-PG13 scene. She should—
"How should I go about doing that?" She heard herself ask instead. "What should I change about the big picture?"
… Darn, what had gotten into her? That was not what she had planned to say at all!
"You could approach it from a different perspective, or try to reimagine the scene with some new inspirations. Where do you typically get your story ideas from? Inspired by other movies and books, or real life?"
Harper almost choked on air. Yep, she shouldn't have let the conversation continue. How did he even come up with such a question? Of course she wouldn't tell him that as someone who had never moved a relationship past the kissing stage, she had absolutely no way to draw any relevant experience from real life … But could he already tell? Was he asking because those bedroom scenes were so unrealistic and inexperienced that they gave her away?
"M-Mostly movies and books," she admitted. "It's easier to derive art from art, I guess."
Eli chuckled. "Then you haven't been watching the right movies or reading the right books. Good art inspires us, but bad art can foul our taste." A hint of casualness returned to his voice. "That's an easy problem to solve though. Why don't we go watch a movie together this weekend? I can show you how to learn from the good ones and stay away from the bad ones. It'll help give you the right inspirations."
A movie to give her the right inspiration for her book? Harper didn't need to think to know what kind of movie that might be, and she couldn't even bear the thought of sitting through something like that with him. She shook her head vehemently, then remembered that he couldn't see her over the phone. "Eli—"
"It's not like we haven't watched a movie together before," the man coaxed, clearly hearing her rejection.
Of course they had. Back when they lived in the same neighborhood as children, Harper's parents liked to invite other families for movies, and she'd lost count of how many times she had sat next to Eli in a theater, sharing a bucket of popcorn and sometimes stealing his coke. But they were kids then, and those movies were always about a brave teenager's adventure through the magical world. How was that anything comparable to what he was suggesting now?
Nope, she couldn't accept the invitation. This was inappropriate, and could turn into big trouble in too many ways. Not to mention that it was too far a stretch from her original intention of getting some feedback on her book. She had to say no.
"Okay." She heard herself say instead. "Where do you have in mind?"