Ever since I was child, my parents haven't been there for me.

Either they are busy with work or busy with my siblings.

I don't know what's the difference between me and them, racially looking like the same, I ask one day, of course not knowing there is things I am not supposed to ask, so the outcome wasn't pretty.

Anyway, regardless, I listened to them such as paying attention to studies or not hanging out, saying it was a bad influence and I did try to do well in study,

Though I wasn't praised despite my effort to get high marks, I wasn't called a useless child, at least until they forgot about it the very next day.

And my friends…I didn't have any friends.

Either they assumed I was a cactus or I was water.

Can't blame them, I didn't have much to talk about.

Well, other than not having an opportunity to speak beyond pleasantries at the household, I didn't have much interest in most topics.

What's the point of entertainment if you see it at home?

What's the point of news of a land far away if we don't care what happens to our surroundings, to people around you?

Then again my interest was always towards the household, so my viewpoint might be too narrow for the norm.

And about hobbies..hmmm...I don't have one.

Couldn't get a musical instrument and if I try to sing or dance, anything but my throat is in pain.

Household wasn't tolerable to hear audible noise that was created by moi ....., so yeah.

Though if you consider seeing porngraphics (with no sound), playing online dating sim(with no sound) and reading romance web novels a hobby, then I suppose I have it.

Now why you wondering why the fuck I am monologuing myself, while I supposed to pray for quick recovery after getting hit by a truck when I was reading a new webnovel?

Either your attention span is shorter than a newborn or innocent like a child, which I envy to be honest.

Anyway, I am just too bored, and self pitying myself as much as I can with you, aka myself.

Maybe it is considered crazy, but I know my condition and used this as my coping mechanism to keep myself in check.

Still, the first time I am talking to myself in a void like surroundings, feeling like I am in a lucid dream.

I am not surprised it's a void though.....

Yup, my common sense is kicking in , so I hope the dreams end soon.

The faster I get back to my IRL, the less terrible I feel about myself.

....And....why I am seeing a woman lifting me up as I was light as a baby?