"Die...". I can die. I really want to die.
As I stand on a cliff, staring at the horizon, I want to die. With a cliff that if I just jump one to two times, it would fall and I would die.
It was the summer break and I am in a mountain known for its crescent moon shape. Hence the cliff I was on. It was the top of that crescent moon.
I stood at the very edge, and truly pushing myself to jump. Just by looking below, the height was definitely enough to kill me. Of course there are trees that might save me. But I don't think those fictional stories of tree branches cushioning falls are actually true. And either way, I am not fit enough for my back to not break in half, landing in the middle of a branch.
My parents are also gone as they are asleep due to being tired from the travel. And so were my other relatives. Truthfully this is the best time for me to jump.
But when I looked at the sky, the sun was close to setting down. And it was the perfect view. A thought came into my head, saying that dying on a sunset is a beautiful end.
"Stop!" I yelled unconsciously. It probably meant two things but I could only care about one. The longer I stay here viewing the skies, the cliff, the trees, and the longer I think about my death and my family.
I wasn't really doing a last thought. I was just delaying or, well actually I was just avoiding it.
It is perfect, it is a perfect height I really should just jump!
Or maybe I jumped on the ground till the cliffside would fall as it was really just a hand thick cliff. I don't even know how it could handle my weight.
Ok, i'll just do that, that is...
No... I'll just jump. My heart, despite all my thoughts and despite standing on a ledge I could fall anytime, was rather calm. I guess it knew this was the end. My body has accepted it, and only my mind has rejected it.
Looking at the sun, a failed beautiful setting sun. The trees that were lushful green and stucked together like a bouquet. A wind that blew even my hair. My body that felt so free I felt like I was flying.
And soon I really did fly. I jumped. I didn't hesitate anymore, I don't like stalling time.
As I fell, I felt the wind through my body, my clothes opened and flung like it was in front of a fan. It was a thrilling feeling.
"Is this how sky divers feel?". I wish I could have actually done sky diving myself. Maybe when I was actually grown. I woul- I can never do any more of that. I can never achieve any more of my dreams.
I jumped cause I wanted to disappear, not to die. For a second, or maybe just as soon as I stepped into the air. I felt regret. My heart beat so fast I couldn't breathe. I want to ignore it, but now I just can't. It hurts. I wanted to do more in my life...
And before I knew it. As I was thinking for way too long. Maybe your life flashing before your eyes wasn't real. But the way that you think as fast as you could in a dire situation, might actually be real.
I am taking so long to fall, and with that I am just becoming scared of the pain. But I should always remember. "Pain is a small price for Death."
Oh, and I almost forgot... "***** * **** ***"
...
More time passed and I woke up. I felt pain, and true death. I knew that. But when I opened my eyes, I was facing a wall. My body was crouched like I tried my best to fit a sitting position in a small gap on the walls.
"You couldn't kill yourself."
"You didn't die."
What? Where am I? Why are there rodents, cockroaches and even flies talking in front of me.
"Did you really think you could jump?"
What?
"Did you really jump?"
But I felt the wind, I saw the ground. I felt the pain. I died.
"You can't die."
"You didn't die."
"You never jumped."
"You couldn't jump!"
Shut up! What is going on. I can't move my body at all. i am stuck. What can I even do. My stomach that was much bigger before even felt like it was gone.
"You could never die."
"You are not allowed to die."
"You were to scared to jump."
As I try to figure out my position and location, I can't stop hearing the words going into my ears.
Fuck! I tried my best right? I actually finally mustered the courage to kill myself. And your telling me it was all a hallucination? Fuck yourself!
"You will never die!"
"You will never die!"
"You will never die!"
"You will never die!"
Shut up! shut up! Ahhhh! My heart is beating so fast, I am starting to feel stressed. It hurts my ears. I died, so what is this! Is this hell!
Im sorry! Im sorry! I never wanted to die! I had no choice!
"Death was your goal."
"And Life should be your punishment."
When tears fell from my eyes, I almost went insane. The words just kept on going and going, faster and faster. But then, two lines were said. And the walls that were keeping me in, expanded.
I could finally move my body. And the walls that just felt like bricks and were completely uncomfortable, turned into an alleyway. With a lot of water and garbage.
I then started to walk to the end. I don't know if it was because my eyes cried much more than I wanted. Or maybe this was actually the afterlife. But the end of the alley was suspiciously bright white on both ends.
But when I have already felt dying, I really could care less where I would go next... maybe I would even reincarnate in another world. I could start anew. And maybe...
As I walked through the bright light. More light enveloped me. But it wasn't any pure white light. It was the shining sun that has blinded my eyes.
For now or forever. I stood on a field of grass. "I have come to another world...". That was the only answer. I could have not been anywhere else. This is another world... and I couldn't help but cry more.
"Why am I crying so much today! My childish dream... has my stupid dream finally come true..." As I said my lines, a flying dragon flew through the sky and that has proven more that this was another world.
And just like any reincarnation, transmigration, or any typical fantasy story. Even I had to get that.
But I didn't. It seems like this is another world without a system. But then what.
As I stood at that same spot for more than a couple minutes. I just stared. Stared at that city I could see from afar. Stare at the clouds. Stare at the greenfields that had nothing but grass in it.
I wondered... "What am I supposed to do here again?" I mean, yes, it was one of my dreams to escape to another world as like any one of my generation hates life.
But what am I supposed to do now. The only thing I thought about was being reincarnated. I failed to imagine landing on grass land without even a system.
It feels weird. I feel freedom, like I could do anything. But I also feel laziness, like I just want to lay on the grass and stay here forever.
What should I even do. I already died. I still look like I was before. I am already a teen, I can't even start from the beginning. I can't even get a new appearance. A better body. A healthier body.
This sucks, I would rather die than live life even in a fantasy world.
[You Have Unlocked The "Life" System]
[You Have Gained A New Mission]
"Wha- so I do have one." My mouth was open like an idiot. I laid on the grass and stared at the sun as my eyes were being protected by the screen that had popped in front of me.
It was a life system. What even is that? Taking lives? I would like that. It seems interesting.
And I also got a mission. I wonder what type of mission it was. I feel like doing it right now. "Ok!". I finally gained the motivation I needed. I could live again!
I said all of those internally, not knowing that I have misunderstood everything. This system was not anything grand. It was in the name itself. "Life"
[Main Mission - Tutorial]
[Venture To The First City]
[Reward: A New Chance]
[Penalty: Just Go]
[Time Limit: 1 Hour][60:00]
I gasped. I pressed my lips and stared at the words more times than I could count.
In a short moment or a very long one, I realized it. Death was my original goal. And as punishment, I was given another chance in life. Well soon that last line was going to be false. But for now it was time to start my adventure.
My first adventure in another world. I stood up and began walking. I could see the city from the very start. I just wasn't surprised as it was normal. But the city definitely looked like any isekai city.
If this is a typical world, I would have a lot of advantages.
Then a problem arose as I was walking. Something I already knew was going to happen.
I was tired. I hate how I still had my original body. Cause I was ugly, my body was overweight. And I was very underdeveloped. I am just plain, weak.
[Time Limit: 1 Hour][46:39]
I still had a lot of time. And if I look at how the city has become bigger in my eyes and with the amount of steps I have walked. I could still get to the city even with some rest.
But then once again, another problem arose. I was thirsty. Like really thirsty. I am in the middle of a field with nothing. At the same time the sun was burning hot. I have weak skin, so I would definitely have sun burns later.
This is such a problem, that I think the only possible solution is to get to the city as fast as possible.
So I headed, fast, faster than I have ever walked in my life. My legs were hurting so much it felt like I was exercising in a gym on leg day. What is this. And you tell me I don't even get a proper reward other than a sentimental sentence.
I know that this entire system was truly meant to change myself. But like, even water or a stamina recovery? I mean it should know I am not fit to walk this long without water right?
My head was starting to feel light headed. I am going to faint soon if I don't reach the city or drink water or even just be away from this heat.
I was already using the window system to block the sunlight. And even if it was working, it was still hot.
Am I really going to faint here? I have never fainted or even passed out. Which is funny as I have already died. Ok! I slapped myself, this was no time for jokes. I needed to get serious. Even if my legs hurt and I was even limping. With my throat so dry it felt like I was liking sand. And my body was full of sweat. This wasn't even the dessert!
I just kept on pushing and pushing, but still... I guess it feels good to try new things. And experience new things, even if that was fainting from heat and dehydration. So I fainted to the ground and I don't know what happened afterwards. I just hoped my will power somehow walked my body to at least reach some people that could see me.
[You Have Completed You First Mission]
[Welcome To Another World]
[May You Live Wonderfully And Learn New Things]
[Even With A Short Time]
[And May You Make Your Past A Better One]