I was around eight years old when the daily lives of neighborhood kids at that time were dominated by a robot cartoon that aired every day on TV at 5 p.m. "Soul Warrior Parvache" was its title. Soul Warrior was an old-fashioned and exquisite title. The name Parvache was ambiguously similar to a large 19th-century dog that had frozen to death in the Netherlands. Quite strange, but the cartoon was very popular.
Until then, in the cartoon genre, the concept of a robot was just a "vehicle" made of metal – controlled by the protagonist, but Soul Warrior Parvache was a natural fit as a title. It was all about a giant robot with a soul. It was breaking away from passive mainstream norms of the time. This unique robot cooperated, communicated, argued, and got outraged with the protagonist's peculiarities, an elementary school student.
Due to the limited circumstances of the time, it took a while for the Parvache robot toy to hit the markets; back then, it was the No. 1 treasure that all children had of that era had in their hands. And finally, that day came for me, when after weeks of begging and pleading, my uncle sneaked one of the toy figurines to me, unbeknownst to my mother.
'Oh, I'll play with this all the time. I will keep playing with it!' was what I kept thinking at that time. I fell asleep with the toy in my arms that day and had a strangely picturesque dream. It was a scene where I couldn't see my face, and someone very tall was looking down at me. The entity clicked his tongue and stretched out his hand to reach me. Then, a blue light began to glow within my body. As the light faded and became smaller, the tall man disappeared almost instantly.
After much time had passed in the space without him, another change occurred. A cool breeze blew through the pool of light flowing in my heart; it breezed across the room. For some reason, I thought I shouldn't let the wind go. As if responding to my heart, the sensation I felt for the first time in my whole body awakened. It felt like warm water was moving gently inside me. As if reading my thoughts, the breeze soon began to turn and was drawn towards me. It appeared like someone was pulling it by force. The breeze hovered around me for a moment and then disappeared as it penetrated the toy which was in my arms.
It was a strange dream. When I woke up in the morning, I looked at the robot in my hand, Parvache. After sleeping one night, I felt like this toy had changed a little, but eventually, I soon forgot about it.
***
The next few days went by in an instant; I played with the Parvache toy without growing even a little tired. Then one day, I was lying on the floor and role-playing, having a cartoony conversation with my toy.
-"It's a big deal! Parvache! The Duke of Caiman has come in from the Metal Planet!"
-"Dangerous! Parvache! I need a second level of power-up!"
-"Parvache! We're running out of energy! Open the Power of the Soul!"
-"Parvache! People on the street are in danger! We have to rescue them!"
-"Parvache!"
-"Parvache…!"
In my mind, I was a pure soul and wanted to be like the main character in a cartoon, too. I also wanted to be a companion to Parvache, The Soul Warrior, and defeat countless villains as a part of his team. I wanted to talk to Parvache. Just as the protagonist, an ordinary elementary school student, had become the hero of justice, I desperately wished that such a thing would happen to me. I wished Parvache would also come to me.
It was then, the strange sensation I felt in my vivid dream a few days ago tickled inside me. Something like warm water stayed in my head as if it were wavering and swaying in a to and fro motion. Then it flowed down my body and relaxed on my palm for a while. And then it disappeared from the tip of my fingers, leaving only a tingling sensation behind. Finally, my gaze naturally turned to the Parvache figurine, held in my hand, where I felt the sensation as it left my body.
And then it happened.
I felt as if Parvache's eyes, which were only tiny pieces of green plastic, were moving. Of course, there was no movement in those dull eyes, not even the pupils dilated, but my head recognized that Parvache turned his gaze to look at me. And, finally, he spoke to me for the first time, as if it was natural for a toy to speak.
[You, I've told you for the 36th time today…please shut up! Go outside and play! Please don't mess around and roll around with me all day; go out!]
[And don't get me near your head! You spit on me!]
[Stop saying crazy thing like "Push shu shu shu!" and "Launch!" like that! You only spit more!]
[And I don't know what you mean! I don't know what it means, but please tell me one thing at a time! You're telling me to give you a second level of power, or to open the power of the soul, or to rescue people, just one of them! Of course, I don't understand what crazy things all of these words mean but speak in context so that I can understand!]
[Oh, and damn, what the hell do you mean by "Parvache"? I don't even know its meaning! How crappy is the history in this world that it wasn't in the Akashic Records!?]
[And why do you not understand what I'm saying? It makes no sense that you can't comprehend while delivering your will to me!]
[Oh, how come I was caught by a wizard with a mental illness and left to suffer like this…]
[You seem like a kid who hasn't even started to divide his reproductive cells yet. Why the hell haven't you heard me for a few days? Then, you're talking about crazy sounds alone? Huh? What's wrong with you? What's the problem with you?!]
[Why did you suddenly become quiet? Hey! Why are you shaking? …Can you hear me? Can you hear me now, you crazy little bastard?!]
When Parvache's screaming stopped, I was left speechless.
"…"
After a while, I think I burst into tears, burdened by overwhelming fear.
* * *
My mother didn't understand why I suddenly threw away the toy I had so desperately begged for. I threw it away and ran to my mother, screaming – 'Whooo! Mom! Parvache was swearing!' She scolded and even hit me, but eventually, she took me to the hospital. My claim – that the toy spoke – was diagnosed as a delusion and an action to attract my parents' attention. Everyone considered it to be resolvable by time. But, of course, it wasn't resolved over time.
"What do you mean, Parvache? If you're not from the Planet Thor, where are you from?"
[*screaming*…!]
"No, the cartoon said that Parvache came from the Planet Thor…ah! Stop swearing! And I'm not a wizard!"
[*screaming*…!]
"Channel? What Channel?
"Channel? What Channel? MBC is number 11. Oh, I told you to stop swearing! What is this 'Channel' in my body? Am I a TV? Stop saying weird things."
[*screaming*…!]
"I'm the only one with a Channel? Strange, my house doesn't even have SBS… Why am I the only one with that?"
My mother, who looked at me with a gloomy face when I was muttering alone with my toy in the corner of my room, quietly approached me and put her hand on my back.
"Min-Joon, do you want to watch SBS? There is SBS at grandmother's house, so shall we go to play next week?"
My mother kept talking to me to distract me from my abnormal obsession with the toy and from displaying delusional behavior. But I was so distracted by Parvache's words in my head that I didn't even respond.
[If you can't see the Channel in your body, you can assume that the whole body's magical circuit is blocked. No, you didn't listen to me at first, but you suddenly changed, so you seem to have penetrated the telepathic receiver system in your brain with your magic.]
[That's an ignorant method. But it's a show of great talent.]
[This civilization can be regarded as ignorant of magic as long as it is negligent like this. Well, it is an incredibly young world that hasn't yet been listed on Akashic Records as you cannot access this level of knowledge regardless….]
[By the way, what kind of Truth-Seeker has sown seeds on the child's body? Hey, what did you dream of that day? Tell me again…]
[Oh, and don't touch me with your nose-picking hands, you damn bastard!]
Parvache repeatedly said that I had a long blue crack in my chest. And he called it a "Channel," and through that passage, Parvache came out into this world. Even if I lowered my head and looked inwards, all I saw was the dull-colored cotton T-shirt that I was wearing.
***
Even as a small child, I was sensible. It wasn't innate, but because I was young and spoke to my figurine at lengths, I was always the center of all things bad – bullying, swearing, and being ostracized by my friends and classmates.
They said, 'Yoon Min-Joon was crazy. He was talking to a toy.'
The children started to stay away from me. I had been transferred several times. My mother, feeling the burden of expenses, no longer took me to the hospital. At this point, my mother could have thrown this toy away, but she chose not to do so. Some doctors had said that sudden separation from my toy could worsen my symptoms. My mother, who firmly believed that this delusion came from a lack of affection, hesitated to throw away the object I was attached to. Moreover, it was because I didn't have any other friends around me anymore.
After a year or so, my head had grown a little bit thicker, and I found out that no one believed me. At the school I last transferred to, after the grade was changed, I no longer spoke of Parvache. Then, because my personality had already changed timidly, I didn't make any good friends. Still, I wasn't outright bullied at the new school. No one knew the rumors about me.
And the conversation between Parvache and me continued inside the safety of my house. By that time, I understood that Parvache wasn't a hero from the cartoon Planet Thor. Yes, my Parvache wasn't a soul warrior who came to save Earth from outer space. Despite realizing that, and even though I couldn't understand most of the grumbling words in my head, I loved talking to him. I still called him Parvache, but the meaning of that name had already changed to something more than a robot from a TV cartoon.