After the mentor check-in, the rest of our practice time was pretty uneventful. We spent the rest of our time doing full group practices as we'd missed the chance to do them previously.
The time flew by in a flash as dinner came by, it seemed like I'd just been panicking about the review being pushed forward a moment ago and now I was scarfing down food like I hadn't eaten in days. I glanced around the table and saw Daeho and Dohyun looking way happier than usual, which was a stark contrast to their usually blank faces.
As I was itching to talk about the 2-stars' performance, I asked them first how theirs went. "So, how was your guy's mentor check in? You seem pretty happy."
Dohyun looked at Daeho for a second and then laughed, I was really curious now considering his reaction. He then replied after composing himself, "Oh man, it was horrible. The mentors were super pissed, I felt like I could see smoke coming out of their ears."
I was confused, I was not expecting to hear that they actually did badly, considering we were 2-stars and were super successful during our review. Apart from that, I was also wondering why they were so stoked with that information.
"Wait- why are you so happy then?" I asked. With a knowing look at Daeho, Dohyun replied, "Oh... It's just that me and Daeho were pretty much the few exceptions. Also, Hajun did the absolute worst, he was even worse than during the signal song reveal practice."
I nodded joyfully as that prick deserved to get shamed with his lousy attitude. I really didn't understand how he was picked by his company that even I knew since they should've known that a guy like that would cause trouble.
As we continued to eat, the pair continued giggling about Hajun, which was quite amusing as these two looked like the happiest kids in the world. The laughter eventually died down as I saw the filming crew enter the cafeteria, probably wanting to capture our conversations about the mentor review.
Although I told the two to quiet down about Hajun, the crew left us alone as they hung around the high-ranked trainees instead, relieving my worries about them capturing us bad-talking him. Even though I was glad they didn't catch us talking badly about another trainer, I did feel a bit disappointed that they didn't even bother coming to our table as they left immediately after filming a couple high ranked trainees.
After the filming crew left, I tried to focus on finishing my food, but my mind was still preoccupied with thoughts about the mentor check-in and the dynamics among the trainees. As the canteen gradually thinned out, we all bid our goodbyes as we headed back to our dorms.
After I sat down on my bed, I felt an unexpected pang of guilt wash over me. I felt somewhat bad about how I intimidated Hajun before the mentor review. As unbearable as he was, he was also another trainee that wanted to debut. Many of the trainees here were probably just as desperate as I was, although they probably wouldn't face instant death if they failed to debut.
With that thought in mind, I decided that if I had to deal with annoying people like Hajun in the future, I'd try a different approach instead of stooping down to their level.
As I drifted off to sleep, I listened to the quiet sounds of the dorm, everyone seemed exhausted as the usually chatty roommates were quietly in bed.
[SYSTEM]ERROR!ERROR!ERROR!
"Ha... ha.. ha... Wait--!" I yell, my voice hoarse as I chase after a figure drifting away from me. No matter how hard I run, it felt like I was stuck in place, my legs start going numb, as my joints scream in protest.
"W-Wait! Don't leave me.. behind..."
Just when I thought I could catch up, my knees buckled, and I collapsed. I reached out to the figure as it faded further into the darkness.
As my vision dimmed, I managed to croak out, "Mom... I'm sorry... Don't—"
[SYSTEM] SYSTEM RESTORING...
[SYSTEM] SYSTEM RESTORED!
I jolted awake, tears streaming down my face. My hand instinctively went to my chest as I struggled to breathe, panic clawing deep inside me. "Mom...?" I whispered, the emptiness that filled my heart felt like a black hole consuming my soul.
The room was still, except for the sound of my heavy breathing. I rubbed my eyes, trying to shake off the remnants of the nightmare that was still fresh in my mind. My heart raced as I recalled the fading figure, the desperation in my voice, and the crushing weight of regret.
I mentally call out the system, wondering if my eyes had deceived me after experiencing the vivid nightmare.
[Name: Kwon Sunwoo (Kang Juwon)]
Age: 19
Potential: ???
Vocal: A+
Dance: B+
Rap: D-
Visual: A
Skill Points: 0
Attribute: Limitless, Become An Idol Or Die!
Skills: All Eyes On Me!
It didn't look like anything had changed so I gradually calmed myself down and concluded that I just had an actual nightmare for the first time in a while. I glanced around the room that was dimly lit by the moonlight peeking through the pulled curtains, the familiar surroundings offered me little comfort and instead felt oddly suffocating. The faint sound of snoring from my roommates reminded me I was not alone, yet I felt an overwhelming sense of isolation.
With a shaky breath, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and planted my feet on the cool floor. I needed to clear my head. I decided to take a walk outside to clear my head. I quietly slipped on my shoes, careful not to wake anyone, and crept out of the room.
The hallway was quiet, illuminated by the soft glow peeking out from the staircase. As I made my way up the stairs, the chill of the air seeped into my skin. I stepped onto the rooftop, letting the night envelop me. The stars sparkled overhead, distant and unattainable, much like my past memories seemed to feel.
I spotted a comfortable bench and sat down, letting the cool breeze brush against my face. For some reason, I recall the laughter of Daeho and Dohyun as they echoed in my mind, a a stark contrast to the mess of thoughts swirling inside me. I wish I could laugh like them right now…
In the silence, I allowed myself to reflect on Hajun. Sure, he was difficult and arrogant, but perhaps he too was struggling under the pressure of expectations from a big company looming over him. I needed to figure out how to deal with all these relationships without becoming an insensitive jerk.
As I sat there, lost in thought, I remembered something my mother used to say: "Every shadow hides a story." Maybe I should start to learn other people's stories, even Hajun's. There had to be more to him than just his annoying demeanor.
But as I attempted to remember my mother and more of our memories, I realized I couldn't manage to picture her face anymore. I couldn't remember anything other than that saying. It felt like all I could recall were Sunwoo's memories. A hollow ache settled in my chest, and I felt somewhat empty. Did I always have a mother in the first place…?
Just then, a soft voice entered my ears. It was Daeho, his expression held a mix of concern and curiosity. "Hey hyung, couldn't sleep?" he asked, taking a seat beside me.
I managed a small smile, grateful for his presence. "Just needed some air. You?"
"Same," he replied, staring up at the stars. "It's been a long day."
We sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, the shared quietness easing some of my anxiety.
"You know," he began, "I was thinking about Hajun, I know he's kind of a jerk but I guess he's also just a trainee like we are, I feel like we were a bit harsh making fun of him for messing up."
I nodded, realizing I wasn't alone in my contemplations. "Yeah, I guess we all have our struggles. Sometimes it's hard to see beyond the surface."
Daeho looked at me, his gaze somewhat embarrassed but resolved. "We need to support each other. We can't debut alone after all. Maybe talking to him could help, even if he seems unbearable." He shyly looked away after nodding, seemingly satisfied with his statement.
The thought lingered in my mind. Perhaps I should try a different approach. I could at least extend an olive branch, even if it was met with resistance rather than cutting Hajun off immediately, I saw with my own eyes how skilled he is, after all.
With a renewed sense of purpose, I took a deep breath. "You're right. I'll try talking to him tomorrow. Thanks, Daeho-ya."
"Anytime hyung," he replied with a small smile. "We're all in this together, remember?"
As the weight of the night began to lift, I felt a flicker of hope. I'm struggling with my own demons, but I wasn't alone in this journey, I had Eunho and now I even have new friends that I can depend on.
The stars twinkled above as we sat there, quietly sitting under the night sky, I felt a warmth spreading through me. I was grateful for Daeho's presence, for his understanding. It felt good to share this moment, to let my worries slip away and take my mind off things.
Eventually, the chill in the air began to seep in, reminding me that it was late. "I guess we should head back before the others wake up and wonder where we are," I said reluctantly.
"Yeah, we don't want to give them any gossip material, do we?" Daeho replied cheekily.
With a grin, I headed into the dorm alongside Daeho, my heart felt at ease now, no longer plagued by the haunting thoughts of potential lost memories.
As I settled into bed once again, I thought about what the future held for me and Eunho, but decided to calm my thoughts and be well rested before it was time for another grueling day of practice.