Shame, what was shame, Kruxe for the first time intricately wondered.
Dishonour, embarrassment, disgrace or humiliation, all these things spun in Kruxe's head but they did not last long as he soon moved on from them and focused on his present situation.
The walk of shame, this was the new thought that came to Kruxe's mind after some seconds of mulling.
As he walked, each step taking him away from his mother, Kruxe felt he was doing nothing but a walk of shame.
He had come here with thoughts of either achieving success or failing at his goals, he had built up a sort of stage in his mind where no matter the results, it would end in grandiose.
The truth was that that stage of grandiosity had been Kruxe's self-defence against the reality that achieving his goal was impossible, he had wanted to hide behind this stage, but now his other had torn it down with her few words.
As Kruxe walked, the urge to look back filled him, gnawing at him to turn and have one last look at his mother, the one person he loved left in the world and though Kruxe hesitated, eventually he turned his head.
Kruxe was soon reaching the ladder to the upper deck, and before he left, he wanted to have one last look at his mother.
Kruxe wasn't sure why, but he knew he wanted to see something from his mother so he looked back.
A few seconds later Kruxe was done looking and looked forward once more, continuing on his path.
Two steps from the ladder and warm tears silently began coming down Kruxe's eyes, as he remembered the look on the face he had turned to, disappointment.
That urge to turn and see his other had been born from Kruxe's desire to see a different look upon his mother's face, one which was not the disappointment-filled one she had on when she sent him away.
Kruxe had hoped to see another emotion, but in the end, the look of disappointment on his mother's face had remained unchanged, her gaze piercing into his without flinching when he looked back at her.
As Kruxe climbed the ladder, his mind was bombarded by several thoughts, many filled with his mother's disappointed gaze.
Though pathetic, to preserve his calm and confidence, to salvage any advantage he could use, Kruxe used his entire might to bury the thoughts of his mother's gaze.
Feeling like a disappointment was the last thing Kruxe needed in his mind as he tried to get off the ship.
Though he walked away in shame, Kruxe never for once forgot the reason why he had turned and left her.
Were his delusional self still in power, staying back with his mother and trying to break her out of the cage would have been Kruxe's only thought, but after his mother had looked him dead in the eye and told him the consequences of his death, clear reasoning had come to Seth and he did what he knew was best.
That his mother would stay true to her words, Kruxe didn't doubt, and he had no intentions to test her resolve.
At the moment, Kruxe still had two lives left, and the scene of his mother killing herself because she thought he was dead was not one he fantasized about.
"They still need Mom so she won't die immediately, what I need to do is first escape the ship, and use that time frame to strategize and find a way to get her back," this thought spurred on Kruxe, who suppressed every other useless thought and let his mind be filled with this prominent one.
Quickly, Kruxe ascended the stairs and was back to the 2nd deck, the place where he had killed Maruge.
As Kruxe climbed onto this floor, his entire countenance fully transformed, from the emotional person he had been, he went to his eyes narrowing and his heavy breaths quickly going under control.
Kruxe wiped off the tear stains on his face and summoned his pistol once more.
Though the weapon had been proving to be near ineffective, something was better than nothing.
Looking around, Kruxe noticed that Maruge's body was still in the same position he had left it, untouched by either Zolink or the other man who had descended to the bottom deck.
Kruxe looked away from Maruge and turned back to the hatch which was a distance away.
His mind was no longer filled with thoughts of just his mother and how to break her out of a cage, Kruxe's mind could now begin wondering why it had taken whoever it was bombarding the ship so long to begin doing so.
Several times, Kruxe could hear the sound of cannonballs either hitting the ship or falling around it.
Were the ship's hull not somehow hard and impenetrable by the canons, Seth would have feared for his mother's life, but now that his mother was all good, he had his own life to begin fearing for.
As seen with Zolink's unhesitant killing of him, whatever his mother and the others were needed for, Kruxe didn't fit into that category, and so staying aboard the ship was just suicide for him.
His route clear, Kruxe ran for the hatch, quickly moving behind the ladder below it just as a person dressed in brown began descending down it.
With the strange man's descent, a smell of smoke came wafting into Kruxe's nose alerting him of the man's possible position behind the canons.
Kruse stayed silent and watched as the man quickly moved towards the hatch of the lower floor.
Watching the man move, Kruxe was gripped with panic on what to do as the man was bound to notice Maruge's body but then to Kruxe's surprise the man ignored it and quickly descended the hatch
With the man's further descent, Kruxe was just about to run up the ladder, but then he heard footsteps come from the floor above him, signifying that there was someone at the upper deck waiting for the brown-clothed man.