i miss you.
i was afraid when we first met.
i was suffocating.
my vision, red.
until i opened my eyes
and that red was your hair.
i miss you.
you waved to me
and i'd like to imagine that i waved back
but i'm sure i didn't.
i'd forgotten how to.
i miss you.
the red is brown today.
you'd tested the waters yesterday
and now you swim.
i watched from the shore
yet still i drowned.
i miss you.
you took my biggest fear
and made it something beautiful.
the waters were harsh.
but they helped me to realize that maybe we are alike.
i miss you.
i was hurting.
physically,
this time.
but nothing could stop me
from walking a familiar path
in which i felt as if my feet had been lifted by angels.
i miss you.
we spoke of things "too big" for our small lives.
you told me something i'd never forget,
and became my biggest inspiration.
now i'm writing this because i miss you.
i went back to the water.
no, that's a stupid metaphor.
for something so paralyzing
could never be compared to the tranquil seas.
maybe it was you. you were the calm that made me forget about the storm.
but i'm back.
the water is rough.
i see greens,
yellows,
blues,
purples.
i don't see red.
i thought i did.
and so i passed along your message
in my own handwriting.
but a crayon could never mimic the humble beauty in your voice.
as sweet as the dreams we spoke of.
as comforting as handwoven fabric.
i miss you.