Death.
A strange thing. Science has never been able to explain what happens after death. Some said there was heaven for those who were good while there was hell for those who committed atrocities. I mean, absurd, right? Who defines what is good? And who defines what is evil? According to these people, it would be god. Or gods. Depending on the religion. But why am I talking about life after death? Simple. Because I, Zeth, believe I am dead.
The last thing I remember was the strange light surrounding me and then pain. I don't know how to describe this pain. It's like being in an oven at millions of degrees. And while your body burns, millions of ants are crawling inside and outside your body, biting you, eating you alive. And then, as quickly as it came, it disappeared and I lost consciousness.
When I woke up, well, not exactly waking up but becoming aware, I found myself in the state I am in. I don't feel my body. I don't feel my senses.
Which is strange because even though I don't feel anything, I know I'm floating, wandering, wherever I am. Just me and my thoughts. A torture, right?
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How long does? A few hours? A few years? Honestly? I don't know. As I float, I began to reflect on my life. I was born to two unhappy parents. My father abandoned me when I was seven. Was he a good father? No, he beat me and my mother. Cliché, right? While my mother? An alcoholic. Blaming myself for her miserable life. And yes, he also hit me. To de-stress. Again, cliché, right? At the age of 8, I ran away and spent my entire childhood and adolescence on the streets. I got involved with drugs, trafficking, I committed murders and stole. Well, I was a small fish so leaving that life was easy. I got a job with the government. Absurd? Not so much, those in power are the biggest criminals in the country. Even if I spent my whole life stealing, I would never be able to steal as much as they steal from people in a week. And so I lived. A few years later, I received news from my father. He was dead. Executed. Well, that's what happens when you buy drugs from criminals and don't pay. I was happy. And a while after that, my mother came after me. Asking for forgiveness. Of course, I didn't forgive. How could I? After years of mistreatment, I fled that miserable house. Do you think she looked for me? No. He was actually happy. After all, there was no longer a nuisance for her to take care of.
But she continues, for months after me, asking for forgiveness. In the end, I gave in. I mean, who wouldn't want someone who loved them unconditionally? In the end, I was disappointed. She was just looking for someone to take care of her. She was sick. I thought about abandoning her but, well, I'm a responsible person. I wasn't able to. Not out of pity or anything like that. I'm simply someone who, if I decide to do something, will see it through to the end. So I continued taking care of her. Well, she was dying so that helped me make that decision as I wouldn't have to do it for a long time.
Thinking back, I think if I had abandoned her, I wouldn't be in this state. After all, I only went out to buy her medicine.
Hahahah, in the end, the same woman who brought me into the world took me out of it too. Despite this, I don't feel angry. Or any other emotions. Strange...
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Boredom.
I don't know how long it's been.
I reflected on a lot of things. Again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again...
Recently I've been sleeping a lot.
I mean, it's not like there's anything else to do. I just keep floating, still without my senses. Just lost in thought. The afterlife is more boring than I thought. No gods. No hell. Anything.
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I think I'm losing the meaning of my existence. The frequency with which my consciousness blacks out is increasing. Yes. Deleting. Not sleeping but turning off. This has been going on for some time. The first time this happened I thought it was just sleep. But, well, as the frequency with which I slept increased, I started to reflect and, later, I noticed that my consciousness is simply going out.
What's the reason? I think it's the numbness of my thoughts. I've spent a long time without thinking about anything, just feeling like I'm floating. So I thought of a solution. Tell. Simple, right? I'll just keep counting.
1,2,3,4....
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I stopped counting when I reached the 720 million mark. When are the days? Ah, this value is my last count. Several times I got lost and started over again.
But the reason I stopped was because the speed at which I was floating increased. Yes. And it's increasing every moment. Slowly but surely I am moving faster and faster. I think I'm finally reaching my destiny. Maybe it's hell? Maybe heaven? Or just finally have my conscience erased. I don't know. But I'm curious to know.
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Light. There is a light....
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YES!!!
I'm almost there. I'm reaching for the light. Just a little more time and I'll finally get to it.
By the way, there are others. Yes. Others Souls. As I got closer to the light, I could see ethereal balls of blue light around me. The question that remains is: how could I see them? I don't know. There's no explanation and I haven't bothered to find an answer. Logic doesn't make much sense now, does it?
I thought about talking to them but...how?
I mean, I have no voice. Actually, I discovered that I don't even have a body. But I still tried to communicate somehow but...I couldn't.
That said, it doesn't matter. The light is here.
Just a little more!
Just a little more!
JUST A LITTLE MORE!!!!
AND....
I FINALLY ACHIEVED IT!!!
HAHAHAHAHAH
FINALLY!!!!!