Some time later
Hermione opened the bathroom door, and his gut twinged when he saw the sorrow streaking her face with wet tears.
She was in her maroon bathrobe, her hair pulled up in a messy ponytail atop her head.
Lucifer'd never noticed how lovely her neck was before.
He was currently sitting on the couch, looking around their new room, while Hermione went to the bathroom to have a bath, she didn't want to smell because of the rain.
Expecting her to curl into his lap, he was surprised when she started to unknot her sash.
"Please, sir. I need a spanking on my bare bottom," Hermione said, sniffling.
Lucifer put his hands over hers, stopping her from disrobing.
"No, Hermione," he said softly, closing her lapels. "A spanking is not what you need right now."
"Yes, it is!" she protested, her voice louder than intended.
The tears came faster, and she angrily wiped her face. "Long and hard. Please hurt me, sir!"
Lucifer heard the panic in her voice.
She was about to snap. "You do not deserve a long, hard spanking. I will not be party to your self-destructive fancies."
He wrapped his hands around her waist, "I know you're angry, and that's perfectly normal; but punishment is for correcting behavior. There is nothing in you that needs changing, because you did absolutely nothing wrong."
Lucifer pulled her into him, urging her to sit in his lap. "Come here and tell me what happened."
Hermione wanted to pound the walls with her fists and scream at him until he beat her arse to a pulp.
But he was making that impossible.
His arms wrapped around her, trapping her against him.
Her jittery anger cracked under his warmth, spilling out the hysterical sobs hidden behind her thin veneer of sanity.
She was broken.
Her heart was broken.
Everything was broken.
Lucifer gathered her up closer, pressing her head against his shoulder, hugging her tightly. "It's all right," he whispered into her hair. "Get it all out."
She did. And then some.
She was scared she was never going to stop.
The more he stroked her back, the more she cried. The grief was eating a hole in her belly.
She'd caused her father's death.
Dan Granger died because his last words before the inevitable were to save her.
Give his blood to her.
This was all her fault.
Her encounter with the Dementor, brought up many of her past memories, including the ones, when she was under Coma.
PS: Amenadiel blessed her after Dan's blood transfer.
When Hermione seemed to be tiring and her tears slowed, Lucifer moved one hand to her head to stroke her hair.
If this was what calmed her most, he'd do it until sunrise.
He didn't want her to cry, but he didn't want her suppressing her emotions any more than she already did.
She couldn't hide from the sadness.
She had to feel it.
Once it had its way with her, he would help her piece herself back together.
"Let me clean off your face," Lucifer murmured, trying to wave his palm.
She refused.
He nudged her chin with his fingers. "Don't be ridiculous. Look at me. You can't even breathe. Let me help you."
Hermione cringed, hiding in his shoulder. "Don't look at me. I'm ugly."
He understood.
It wasn't her appearance she thought was unlovable, it was her imperfections.
He'd avoided mirrors for the better part of his life, never looking himself in the eye, because of seeing that face again.
Last year was an exception, to make Hermione see her arse all damaged by his craft.
And now, to see her so blinded by that same pain stabbed at his heart like a rusty dagger.
"You are not ugly, Hermione. You are the most beautiful girl I know. Inside and out."
"No, I'm not!"
Lucifer turned her face toward him and met her puffy gaze. "I have never ever lied to anyone my whole life. And, I would never lie to you."
Hermione blinked as he siphoned the snot from her sinuses and vanished her tears.
She felt much lighter without all that mucus.
When he was done, Lucifer pressed his lips to her forehead.
The sweetness of it made her cry again, but something shifted inside her.
Although she was still sad, there was also a strong sense of relief flooding through her chest.
"Are you ready to tell me what happened?" he asked softly.
She turned her face to the wall behind him, whispering so maybe it wouldn't be true yet, "Dementor caused me to remember some of my bad past memories, and I just realised that my Dad could have been saved, if he never shared his blood with me....We are both O- and the doctors...they didn't have enough to save both of us, so he...."
Lucifer hugged her tighter. "He made his choice, okay? You shouldn't blame yourself. And, I don't think your family does either."
"B-But, now I understand, why Mum sometimes looks at me with that kind of gaze."
He murmured softly, "It must be one of your illusions, I'm sure."
Hermione's face crumpled. "Don't you think I am a bad, and selfish person?"
Lucifer sighed, considering how to answer her. "...Hermione, there are bad people in this world. But you are not one of them, I swear."
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."
"You're already doing it. Dan Granger deserves to be mourned."
She cried softly for a while longer, and Lucifer stoked her head as he thought about how he could help her get past this.
The way she'd begged for that spanking earlier was a huge clue.
She wanted the pain to silence her sorrow.
Her world was falling apart, and she needed him to put some order back into it.
But he didn't want her trading one hurt for another at a time like this.
She needs stability right now.
He could give her the strength she craved without resorting to physical displays of dominance.
Hermione had sobbed herself to exhaustion.
Sniffling against his robes, Hermione leaned into him and closed her eyes.
Her body heaved out a deep sigh, too knackered to cry anymore.
"How are you feeling?" Lucifer whispered.
"Tired."
"I know you're still sad, but are you calmer now?"
"Yes, sir."
Lucifer smiled. She was ready for him to take care of her. "Have you eaten dinner properly?"
"You weren't sitting beside me, so I wasn't hungry."
"Why don't I run you a bath? I'll make you a sandwich while you get warm."
"How long can we stay here? Madam Pomfrey said to return back when my needs are done with."
"All night."
Hermione looked up at him, in disbelief "Really?"
"Yes, really." Lucifer waved his palm, to clean her face again, "Let's make that a hot bath. You must be chilled to the bone after today in that robe."
She got off his lap, feeling shaky and drained.
He put his arm around her and steered her to the bathroom.
While he plugged the drain and started the water, Hermione couldn't help thinking how odd it was to see him doing something so normal.
So kind.
Lucifer stood before her, meeting her watery gaze as he untied her sash.
Her robe dropped to the floor in a heap, and he smiled softly at her nudity.
Hermione shivered as he drew his fingertips over her clavicle.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered. "I missed this."
"What?" she asked, looking down, wondering what part of her body inspired him most.
He tilted her chin back up. "Being with you."
A tentative smile pulled at her lips. "I missed you too."
That wasn't something he was used to hearing.
Lucifer was starting to fancy it.
He ran his hand along her neck, skimming his fingers over the soft skin of her upper back and shoulders, "Let's get you in the tub."
xxxxxxx
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