Looking for some kind of escape, Tilda read her letter as she waited for her turn to take the divine power test:
"One touch to her hand, and one word in her ear,
When they reach'd the hall-door, and the charger stood near;
So light to the croup the fair lady he swung,
So light to the saddle before her he sprung!
'She is won! We are gone, over bank, bush, and scaur;
They'll have fleet steeds that follow,' quoth young Lochinvar."
Priest Goopty opened the door and said, "We're ready for you now."
Tilda put her letter away and sighed.
Inside the ceremonial room, Priest Goopty, Priestess Juacov, and Priest Smithy, all carried sticks with jangly bells on the end of them with feathers. They waved the sticks in front of Tilda's face.
She looked forward, unblinking.
The priest's chanted, "Verum ostende nobis. Potestas intus. Potentia circum. Omni virtute. Revelate. Revelate. Revelate."
The feathers started smacking Tilda in the face.
"Revelate. Revelate. Revelate."
The priests brought their staffs together and said, "REVELATE!"
A light on the end of the staffs glowed faintly. The glow faded. Goopty intensely studied his staff.
Smithy said, "That's it?"
Checking the meter on his staff, Goopty said, "This is slightly below even normal people's level."
Smithy said, "The strongest person with divine strength from the Arquix estate and that's it? Huh, that explains a lot actually…"
Tilda said, "So, you're telling me I can't be a priestess."
Goopty said, "Your affinity for divine power is… lacking, yes."
Thank goodness, Tilda thought.
Smithy said, "We'll have to see what Pamtha says."
Immediately, the group went to confer with Pamtha.
Looking at the reading on the stick, Pamtha said, "Pathetic really. Sorry Bess, but you're completely unfit for service in the church. Really, I'm not sure why you even wanted to come. Why try at all, really. Absolutely pathetic. Yes."
Did she know I would fail this badly all along?
Pamtha said, "So sorry dear, but you've got not an ounce of promise."
Tilda said, "I guess I should just go home then."
"Yes, yes, yes, that is for the best. Ta-ta. Tell Lady Cosaria I'll write to her soon."
"I will. Thank you."
As Tilda walked out of the room, Priest Goopty followed her.
Goopty said, "Bess, a moment."
Tilda said, "Yes?"
"Seeing as how you carry the castle's divine strength, I just can't help but wonder if you happen to know of any demonic activity going on at the castle."
Tilda said, "What?"
"You see, the lack of divine energy worries me. It means that the people at the castle would be more susceptible to curses and the like."
"I haven't noticed anything myself, but I'll keep my eyes open. What is it I'm looking for?"
"Black marks on the skin. A stale atmosphere, sometimes the smell of death. Be careful, curses are highly contagious."
Tilda's eyebrows rose for half a second, thinking, Highly contagious? Wow, a holy man is lying straight to my face.
Tilda said, "No, we've got nothing like that at the castle. Pamtha's constantly sending us letters and blessings and all the stuff. I suspect that she helps keep the castle well protected."
Goopty said, "She is good at her job, but just as a precaution, if something does come to your attention, please write to me about it."
"Yeah, I'll do that."
He thinks he's got an in into the castle. He's got no idea. I wonder if I can use this against him.
"Excellent," Goopty said as he patted Tilda's hand. "Vale."
When he turned away, Tilda wiped her hand on her dress.
༻✧༺
Tilda was finally leaving the dreadful temple, heading back to the Arquix castle. She was eager to get back to Felux.
Happy to be out of the priestly garbs and wearing her normal comfortable clothes, she heard the voice of her tormentor.
"Tilda!" Malel said as he tried to catch up with her.
Tilda contemplated running away. Instead, she took a deep breath and prepared her nerves. One last time. One last interaction. She could do this.
Malel said, "You were going to leave without saying goodbye."
"Yeah."
He said, "I know you're disappointed about the test but-"
"Malel, stop."
Of course. Of course, he would assume that.
That wasn't the reason she was leaving without saying goodbye, but Malel wasn't capable of understanding the truth. Tilda said, "We're not friends."
"Tilda… I'm sorry. I really thought you would pass the test."
"Why?" Tilda snapped, "Why did you think I would pass the test?"
"I…"
Malel was confused and didn't know how to respond.
Tilda said, "I've never had divine power and it's not like I could randomly generate some out of nothing."
I'm not like Lady Cosaria.
Malel said, "But you were always so devoted."
Tilda said, "Do you know why? Because my family needed holy water and the church was the only place to get it. My sister was dying, Malel."
"Your… sister?"
"Do you even remember Anra? She was the same age as you."
"I only had eyes for you."
Tilda scoffed and turned away.
Desperate, Malel ran in front of her to block her exit. He said, "Tilda, I can see you're still upset but taking it out on the church isn't going to help."
"Then where am I supposed to take it out, Malel? On myself? For not having enough divine power to save my sister's life?"
"That's not your fault, Tilda. Divine power is rare and must be used cautiously and sparingly."
"Don't you think that if I had had even an ounce of divine power, I would have used it for my sister? Creating holy water, using healing scrolls, anything!"
Malel took a step back, saying, "You're bordering on illegal activity with that kind of talk, Tilda."
"Do you think I care about that?! Have you ever stopped to consider that I care more about my sister, than I do about the stupid rules of some stupid church?"
Malel slumped. He said, "Why did you come then?"
Tilda opened her mouth. Then she closed it. Then she looked down. "Lord D…" She paused, then, with confidence she met Malel's eyes, and said, "Because a brother asked me to."
Malel asked, "Which brother? Junior? Beniter?"
"That's none of your business."
"Please Tilda, I just want to help."
"You don't know what I need, and you couldn't provide it even if you did. So just stop. The best way you can help is if you just stop."
"I'm sorry. I just… I care."
"Well stop."
"I… I'm sorry."
Tilda said, "Goodbye Malel."
"Vale, Tilda."
Walking away, Tilda couldn't stand the hypocrisy. If he truly cared, then maybe he would spend less time trying to tell her what to do, and more time working to understand her struggles. Everything infuriated her.
༻✧༺
After Tilda had traveled down the road a few miles, she stopped under a tree. Now that the city was out of sight, she wanted to put it out of mind too.
With shaking hands, she read:
"There was mounting 'mong Graemes of the Netherby clan;
Forsters, Fenwicks, and Musgraves, they rode and they ran
There was racing and chasing on Cannobie Lee,
But the lost bride of Netherby ne'er did they see.
So darling in love, and so dauntless in war,
Have ye e'er heard of gallant like young Lonchinvar?"
The poem was finished.
As she held the letter in her hand, her mind flashed back to the Baxarte estate. When she worked there, she had received a letter from Anra a few weeks before she died. It had read:
To Tilda,
Priest Halifster came looking for you again. He said the church misses you and that they all wish me well. He's a good liar, isn't he? He wouldn't even look in my direction, and as soon as I said hi, he left. Nobody wants to be around the cursed. But don't worry, I know that's not why you left. I know why you left. You left to help me. But I also know there's more to it than that. You left because they were your friends. And your friends wanted you to choose between them and me, and you chose me. I think you made the right choice. But I also think you lost a lot because of it. A lot that you didn't need to lose.
Tilda, did you lose your faith? That would be my biggest regret; That you lost your faith because of me. Because I still believe. I don't agree with everything, but I believe it is true. I believe there will be a divine maiden and that she will save her people. Sometimes I think, maybe there's something bigger than ourselves going on. And maybe in a small way, I play a part in it. That's what I think.
Tilda stopped reading. It had only been the first page and already her temper started to flare. Anra was so naïve to believe in all of that. Tilda would have to show by example that a person didn't need belief to get through.
Besides, those hypocrites weren't her friends. Tilda had never told her sister about what the church called Anra behind her back; wicked, unworthy, unclean, sinner. But Anra already knew. She wasn't blind to their gossip, as much as Tilda had tried to protect her from it. Anra wasn't blind.
Tilda continued reading:
Tilda, I'm not doing so well. I want you to come home. I don't want the holy water anymore. It's not working anyway. You don't need to be there for me. I love you, I don't want you to have to suffer because of me. Start living your own life. Stop trying to save mine. Please, come home.
Love, Anra.
Anra was wrong. She didn't know what she was talking about. This was Tilda's life. Helping Anra was Tilda's life. Anra sounded so defeated, but Tilda wouldn't be. Tilda wouldn't give up. Anra needed the holy water and that was that. It was the only way Tilda knew how to help.
Then Tilda's temper got the better of her and she ripped up the letter.
The flashback ended.
Having finished reliving the worse of her memories, Tilda buried her head in her knees and cried.
༻✧༺
To clear his head, Delrik tried to go hunting in the Red Forest. But he forgot his bow and arrows. And his sword. And any weapon at all. So he came back defeated.
And when he came back, his feet immediately took him to Cosaria, who immediately ran away from him. Another defeat.
He sat at the dinner table alone, because Cosaria was still avoiding him. He didn't even try to hide his defeat as he hung his head and picked at his food like a five-year old.
There was one circumstance in which Cosaria could not avoid Delrik. She had been dreading it all day. The nighttime healing. They hadn't performed the ritual since Pamtha's visit, since things were just so busy. But now, there was no excuse.
The moon glowed through the window into Delrik's room, as Delrik's chest was illuminated by Cosaria's glowing hands.
"It looks worse," Cosaria commented, "Were you taking the holy water?"
Delrik looked away. He may have 'forgotten' a few times… Cosaria pouted with puffed out cheeks.
She said, "Delrik, you need to take care of yourself."
Staring into her eyes, Delrik thought, What happens when I'm completely healed? Will she leave me?
Delrik leaned his head on Cosaria's shoulder, saying, "What can I do without you?"
"Oh, Delrik."
Cosaria's embarrassment was overcome with compassion for her beloved. In an act of true love, she put her hand on Delrik's head.
He pulled away.
Staring at the ground, he said, "I'll wait."
"Wait for what?"
"For you."
"But whatever for?"
Delrik didn't respond.
Cosaria said, "Oh Delrik, is there something you want from me? Just tell me. What is it that you want?"
He lifted his head to meet her eyes. He said, "Stay with me tonight?"
Cosaria gasped. She said, "Yes, of course. If you need me."
Delrik brought his face a paper's length away from Cosaria's. He hesitated, expecting some supernatural force to interrupt their moment and block his intentions. It never happened.
Delrik kissed Cosaria passionately.
They moved further and took their love to the bed where Cosaria discovered exactly what Pamtha was talking about.