A shadow snuck across the creaking ground when Felux opened his eyes. It was late night, maybe early morning. He got up just as a figure quietly exited out the front door. Felux pulled on his boots and followed.
Tilda had just taken a deep breath of cool night air when she heard the crunch of dirt behind her.
Felux asked, "Something on yer mind?"
Tilda looked up at the brilliant night sky and shrugged. She said, "I-"
A loud snore erupted from the walls of the cottage. Tilda almost laughed at her father's indication of deep sleep.
She asked, "Would you like to go for a walk?"
Felux agreed and the two took the old road. They walked along in silence for a distance, listening to the rustling trees and the hoot of a far off owl. Their methodic footsteps broke the spell of solidarity the night tried to cast.
After some time, Felux finally asked, "You upset about earlier? With the priest?"
Tilda said, "Nah. Well, not particularly."
"Yer family doesn't seem to hold strong ties to the church, I've noticed."
"That's an understatement."
Felux asked, "He was a friend?"
Tilda stopped in front of a large smooth stone and said, "He was my sister's age."
"Valka?" Felux guessed. Valka, Felux learned, was younger than Tilda but older than Beniter and there was a fairly big age gap between Tilda and Valka. Her reputation, however, was being known all over as the village flirt.
"No," Tilda said, "Her name was Anra."
Felux paused and asked, "Have I met her?"
Tilda gestured to the large smooth stone and said, "She's right here. Buried six feet under."
"Oh," Felux said quietly.
The rock was a tombstone.
Tilda continued, "The church wouldn't even let us bury her in the churchyard. She was 'unclean', 'unholy'." She clenched her fist.
Felux noticed shimmering water not far from them. He could imagine kids playing in the water. He said, "We'd been here earlier."
"Yeah. This is the watering hole."
Felux remembered earlier when they were sitting, talking next to this rock, this grave.
He asked, "How'd she… if I can ask. What happened?"
Tilda sat down in her usual spot and Felux sat beside her.
She said, "I'll tell you because I trust you." And she began her tale:
༻✧༺
"I was eleven and Anra was seven. We did everything together. One night we went into the forest to look for fairy circles, we'd heard some rumor about it and were curious."
"They have magical powers," An eleven year old Tilda had said.
Anara replied, "I hope they glow."
The two girls wore flower crowns on their heads and were giddy with anticipation, but as time went on, the forest turned dark.
Tilda said, "Hey Anra, I think we're lost."
Anra nodded with trembling hands, she said, "Maybe we should split up."
Tilda lightened and said, "We could cover more ground that way." It seemed like a smart idea. Whoever found home first would come back to tell the other one.
Anra said, "That's what I was thinking."
"Okay," Tilda said and the two girls left in opposite directions.
"We got lost and split up. We didn't realize how bad of an idea it was until we were both alone in the woods by ourselves. They found me the next morning."
A younger Tefer picked up a child Tilda.
Little Tilda asked, "Papa, did you find Anra?" All night the little girl hoped that her sister, her best friend, had made it home safely.
"Not yet," Tefer had said.
"They found her the next evening, she was hardly breathing."
As a younger Tefer searched the forest he called the name of his little daughter, "Anra! Anra!"
A faint noise, "Puaah".
Tefer ran to it and found Anra lying hidden underneath the bushes. Her breathe came out in rasps and her dress was ripped in the back, exposing black and red slashes. The wound emitted a disturbing glowing aura.
"She'd been attacked and it left a curse mark on her."
Carmesta tended to Anra, who was lying half dead on the couch. Carmesta put a wet rag on Anra's forehead. Her face was red and her breathing still had not stabilized.
"We brought her back and did everything we could. The only thing that helped was holy water but there never seemed to be enough of it and it was so expensive."
Tefer had entered the cottage carrying a pot of sparkling holy water and said, "This was all we could afford today."
Carmesta sat Anra forward and poured some of the water on her back, then she laid her down and poured the rest in her mouth. Anra sighed in relief as her breaths became regular and normal. The traces of suffering had vanished from her face.
"In order to get the holy water she needed, my family had to become the most devoted church followers. It was the only way we knew how to save Anra."
Tilda was a little older now as she prayed with the other church goers. In her prayerful hands she held a necklace with a church symbol; a star inside of a triangle.
"I attended services every week. I went to every prayer meeting. I even gave donations when my family was already struggling."
A donation box had been passed around, and Tilda, who was wearing the religious necklace, put a small coin in the box.
The priest had said, "Every donation is meaningful. Thank you, young miss."
Tilda had smiled, a warmth in her chest tried to cover the regret of what that coin would have done for her family.
"They'd preach about giving service to those in need, asking for nothing in return, when they were the ones who demanded payment for the life saving holy water my sister needed."
Anra had become fourteen and Tilda was barely over seventeen. They had spent many days reading together and discussing church doctrines.
Anra was reading from their scripture, "Twill be of the divine maiden, chosen of the skies, in determining future's fate…" She stopped reading and asked, "What in the world is that supposed to mean?"
Tilda fingered the church symbol on her necklace and conjectured, "Prayer class said that passage meant that young women were inherently holy and that they would raise the future generations."
Anra rolled her eyes, saying, "Well no duh. Young women have babies and then raise them. Why do they need a prophecy to tell them that?"
Tilda smirked and said, "That's what I thought. Their interpretations are so weird."
"Especially that holy part," Anra said, "If young women are inherently holy, then why was I cursed?"
Tilda held her breath. She hadn't dared to ask the same question. Rumors whispered that Anra was unholy, unclean. She was a curse, an abomination, a deformity. Tilda didn't want to believe it, she couldn't. Anra was the best person she knew. Her life meant something. Her life wasn't a warning to the wicked or proof of unholiness. It meant something… right?
Tilda's fingers traced the symbol on the necklace. Finally she said, "…I don't know."
Tilda gripped the necklace tightly.
"Finally, I got sick of the hypocrisy."
The necklace snapped in Tilda's hands and she tossed the pieces into the watering hole.
"When I turned nineteen, I left to work as a maid at the Baxarte estate. It was good pay and I could send the money home."
The Baxarte head maid had given Tilda her first uniform. Tilda was washing windows when she first looked out and saw Melodia pulling Cosaria's hair.
"They were so vicious. It stayed like that for two years. It was awful, the things they did to Cosaria. I did what I could for her, but I wanted to quit. I didn't want to see it. The only reason I stayed was to send money home to help pay for my sister's holy water."
Tefer opened a letter containing coins. They were Tilda's selfless sacrifice. Then he covered his eyes as tears streamed down his face. They wouldn't need these anymore.
"And then she died."
༻✧༺
The memories ended and Tilda relaxed the fingers she had been digging into her arms. She was safe, she was with Felux, staring out at the watering hole.
She said, "There was some mix up at the church. They didn't have enough holy water and nobody would make more. Nobody was allowed to. And she died. A little over two years ago." Tilda glanced at the large smooth stone, and said, "I came home for the funeral."
Felux confirmed his suspicions when he asked, "That's the last time you'd come to visit."
"Yeah, it was," Tilda said. She hadn't been home since the funeral. Since Anra died. "Funny too, I had promised myself I would quit my job as a maid. I'd give them my resignation and be done with that messed up dirt pit. I had no plans to stick around. But when I came back to Cosaria, I found that she was half dead and no one would help her."
Tilda remembered that time so long ago with Cosaria's limp fragile body staring lifelessly ahead. Tilda had promised to get medicine. Cosaria didn't even register her presence.
"So I helped her. I was the only one who would. If I quit and went back home, Cosaria would be… I don't know. I couldn't go back home." Tilda wasn't sure if it was just an excuse. Was she helping Cosaria, or was she running from Anra's death?
"She'd die if I left her," Tilda explained. That much, she knew was true. She said, "I decided that since I couldn't help my sister, maybe at least I could help Cosaria."
A silence hung in the air as Felux soaked in all the information. Felux said, "That's why she means so much to you."
"Yeah. She's a precious little girl," Tilda said with a smile. Then she shivered. She couldn't tell if she was numb from the brisk night air, or numb from her own, unprocessed feelings.
"Can I… Can I do anything fer you?" Felux asked.
Tilda thought for a moment. Her initial response was no but it wasn't her honest response. Finally, she said, "…I could use a hug."
As Felux pulled Tilda into his arms she took a deep breath, enjoying the warmth.
She said, smiling, "You smell like trees."
Felux sniffed himself, "Is it bad?"
Tilda said, "Nah, Well, I like it. But I can't say the same for everyone else."
"Then I've nothing to worry about."
Tilda broke the embrace and wiped sleep from her eyes. She said, "I'd say thank you, but Cosaria always says that."
"What's wrong with that?"
Tilda scrunched her nose, saying, "Well, she makes a 'thank you' sound like a 'I'm never going to see you again, goodbye'."
Felux laughed, "That's true."
Tilda sighed, "We should get back."
Felux said, "If you want to."
"I don't."
"Aye. Me neither."
Tilda leaned her head on Felux's shoulder as the sun began to rise. When Felux looked down, Tilda had fallen asleep. He studied her face then looked away.
He thought, This being 'friends' thing is not working fer me.