Chereads / Sober Hearts / Chapter 8 - 8. Echoes of Dreams

Chapter 8 - 8. Echoes of Dreams

In the quiet hospital room, Selina lay awake, draped in a light pink patient robe that left her back exposed to the chill of the air conditioning. The cool draft caused her to shiver, bringing a sense of vulnerability and a stark reminder of her current reality. She was anxiously anticipating the arrival of the mysterious Dr. Hawke. His figure shrouded in mystery in her current state of mind. Visions of a man in a dark, shadowy figure carrying her to safety were constantly on her mind.

The cold air in the room blew on her back, making her uncomfortably aware of her surroundings and her scant hospital attire. She kept asking herself what happened and wondering why she had a dream of dancing gracefully on a stage. She couldn't even remember what she wore last night. 'It must be a dream', Selina whispered. But the feeling was overwhelmingly authentic, and she remembered the scene vividly, like it was yesterday. Confusion and disorientation clouded her thoughts as she was trying to piece together the events leading up to her hospitalization. While she was concentrating on retrieving her memory, the icepick unexpectedly returned, caused her to wince, and then left her as abruptly as it came.

Selina recalled a dream, or what she believed to be a dream, where she danced with grace and passion on a stage. The memory of her performance stands in stark contrast to her present weakness and uncertainty that she ruled out the possibility of it being a reality.

A fragment of memories from New Year's Eve lingered in her mind as she contemplated if Ally had visited her at the dorm the previous night. She had a fuzzy memory of Ally dressed up in black, mentioning a party of some sort. Selina felt a growing sense of frustration and confusion as she attempted to piece together her scattered memories. Like a puzzle with missing pieces, the nighttime events remain elusive and disjointed in her mind.

As Selina's mind flickered between brief, vivid flashes of the excitement in Ally's voice, the allure of a night out, and the rush of preparing for a party,. She found it increasingly difficult to sequence these fragments of memories or distinguish them with certainty from dreams that intermingle with her reality. Amid her attempts to piece together the night, Selina felt a profound sense of loss and disconnection, not just from the events but from herself. There was an overwhelming desire to make sense of it all, to regain a sense of control over her own mind and the events that led her to the hospital.

Lying in the hospital bed, Selina contemplated her actions and acknowledged the recklessness of her behavior. She could only admonish herself for being careless, as she usually drinks heavily in her room with no one else disturbing her when indulging in her sorrows. She reflected on her usual routine, especially on the Eve of the New Year, where she would be drinking heavily in the solitude of her room, a practice she adopted to ensure she could manage her sorrows privately, without outside interference or judgement, protecting herself from the scrutiny of others while simultaneously trapping herself in a cycle of despair.

Every time, after indulging in booze, she would find her room in a heap of mess. Evidently, her movements and activities during her drunken stupor resulted in a state of disarray. None of those evaded her recollection. She reflected on debilitating hangovers that serve as a reminder of her indulgence, but not enough to be an intervention to stop her alcohol consumption. She concluded that she must be walking or moving about in her room. Whatever transpired would elude her memory. However, her experience in the hospital provided a reckoning that her actions have consequences beyond her own experience, which is a sobering thought. It dawned on her that what she practiced did not absolve her of the repercussions of her actions. For the first time, Selina recognized that the hospitalization had taken place, which acted as a catalyst for her to repent of her approach and choose an alternative to cope with her struggles.

As Selina was pondering, trying to figure out the empty brackets of memories from a couple of days ago,. The door of her patient room opened to reveal a nurse. She brought a tray of water and orange juice. Selina saw the drinks and felt thirsty. The compassionate nurse delivered her the drinks and continued to check her vitals. "Again, dear, you need to rest," said the nurse while laying Selina's head down on the fluff pillow and tugging her to bed. The atmosphere in the room was sterile and quiet, with soft beeps coming from the vital sign monitor. The nurse's gentle demeanor comforted her while she was anxiously waiting for the doctor to arrive. "Remember, you had just recovered, so relax and stay calm. Dr. Hawke will arrive shortly."

Selina nodded while the nurse smiled and left her room with an empty tray. She was so thirsty that she forgot to probe the nurse further about her circumstances yesterday. Selina sipped the water and realized how delicious it could be when she was parched. She immediately finished her water in two gulps, quenching her thirst. She then proceeded with a cup of fresh orange juice. The freshly squeezed orange juice had floated pieces if orange pulp gave it a delectable appearance. It reminded her of her time with her mother, as she would squeeze fresh orange juice every day.

After finishing her juice, Selina regained some strength and was feeling optimistic. She was ready for some food. Strange as it may seem, she found a sense of profound peace and serenity. Perhaps being admitted to the hospital wasn't a bad thing per se. She made another attempt to remember what happened two nights before and how she got here. In the end, her sole recollection was the feeling of overwhelming happiness and the enigmatic earthy wooden scent that she couldn't quite seem to place. As her mood brightened a little, she looked at the surroundings of her room and noticed that her belongings weren't in the room with her. Her confusion deepened.

Suddenly, the door of her patient room flung open, in an alarming fashioned and frightened her. 'How rude!' She had the impression that the doctor just barged in without knocking and stating his presents. However, instead of the doctor, her eyes widened at the sight of a gaunt lady making her entrance.