[Salamis Drigovic pov]
It's been an exhausting week of quests and being watched over by my mute shadow. Breaking the neck of a giant rat trying to eat a still alive but unconscious bandit. I watched as my shadow walked around, examining each of the bandits I had dealt with. He was extremely…. Picky about making sure I showed no quarter to hostile people unless they'd be of use, crippled so they couldn't flee, of course. A bandit twitched her hand reaching for a dagger when suddenly a bang rang out. The bandit stopped breathing as he shot her through the eye, he wasn't even phased.
He hasn't answered my questions much regarding him, but he said if I passed this "test" he'll answer six questions about himself. I really didn't like this test. How does knowing how to cripple someone and leaving them in everlasting phantom pain for the rest of their lives help me fight people? He'll probably harshly reprimand me if I asked, or that Chocobo, Valentine, will slap me with a wing. The only one who seems friendly is Zendaya, a Behemoth of all things! Also Shun, the little chunky Carbink he has constantly summoned.
After a while, he finished inspecting the bandits, then executed them all with a shot to the head. Not once ever blinking or seeming disturbed, as if it really was just something to be done. He turned to face me as he slung his M16 over his shoulder and started signing to me.
'You did good, sloppy as some had ruptured organs and were dying, but you did good. Would've preferred you do this all in about three minutes not ten, however, that's due to your lack of combat experience, so I'll be lenient. One was faking and thus had to be killed before they grabbed their weapon, if you or anyone unaware had checked on them, you'd be dead. Plenty more to nitpick, but I'll stop there and say you've barely passed by one score.'
Sighing, my tail which had been tensed unknowingly relaxed. Looking at Xander, I hesitantly spoke as Valentine and Zendaya laid nearby, the Chocobo roosting in her box.
"So, can I ask you things now?"
'Go for it, but I reserve the right to not answer specific things, thus forcing you to change questions.'
Sighing, my shoulders dropped, a little depressed at that, but it's reasonable. As I looked at the man who stood taller than me by five inches at six feet and six inches. I thought of my first question, and it was probably very personal.
"You… don't seem phased or bothered by killing people, or even show much of any emotion…. What's up with that?"
'I'm a highly functional sociopath, so I don't have any real attachments to Human life, unless I for certain feel something for someone. Which is rare, so it's made me quite effective as a soldier, as I valued animal life more than my own or another person's life. I can dance the dance, but it's mostly all just an emulated act most of the time.'
That… that was very valid and kind of depressing as that means he'd not hesitate to kill me potentially. He'd hesitate at killing his animal companions first before looking at me and shooting or gutting me without remorse. That's a lot of wrong, and it's just depressing in plenty of ways as well, since that means he's rarely ever felt anything. If he does, it's probably something significant and a fleeting thing in passing. Shaking my head, I asked my next question with some curiosity.
"Why do you hate being called a hero?"
'Being a hero means living up to someone's expectations, being a villain is also the same but with freedom. To be acknowledged as a hero and accepting it means you've signed a death wish. Heroes walk a path of destruction constantly, and rarely do they come out intact or sane. As a saying goes, live long enough you'll become the villain, so it's best to be an anti-hero or a villain. Fewer expectations and more room to act and be yourself.
Now, why do I hate it? Someone forced that cursed title upon a friend I actually felt love for. They did so and used their growing popularity to live luxuriously. When they didn't meet even one expectation, EVERYONE but myself imposed on them. They were attacked, they survived, but they took their own life as I arrived on the scene. I watched someone I felt something for like love kill themselves, I see that scene every time I sleep, that title killed them and many others. So it can rot in Hell forever, I will never accept that title.
I will actively seek to destroy my image in the case I am seen as one. Fuck it, fuck everything it stands for, just fuck it….'
Stepping back, I held my hands up at my silent shadow and regretted asking such a thing. That was frankly a lot of passive-aggressive contempt said there. But it also helps paint a picture of why he's teaching me some dark things…. He doesn't want me to go down a route like his friend. Although how he got agitated at the mention of them and saying love… it was probably more than just friends.
"Did you ever have anyone who… just stayed with you, even with your circumstances?"
'Yes… they were called Gaia Veilstone, a wonderfully bright male to female trans who enjoyed singing and making people smile. They knew of my rather sociopathic nature yet actively sought to help me feel anything at all. They helped me actually meet my husband, given I'm bisexual, who was in the service with me. They died sometime during the summer due to a stage four brain tumor.
No one, not even family, showed up that day, just me, a broken man. Yet, seeing me they laughed a laugh so full of affection and love seeing me show up. When asked why I bothered when no one else did, I simply said, "Because you're someone I feel sad about losing." And that made them happy to hear before taking my hand and passing away with a smile. If a sociopath gets attached, we cling to a person because we feel something around them.'
…. I didn't think I'd actually get something just as depressing but fuck…. At least he's rather open about things like this! Even though I wish he'd not give me a heart attack because of depression. Okay, next question! Please do not be a depressing one!
"What do you think of being in a different world?"
'Pretty fun, honestly, I can also live out the life of a druid by amassing an army of animal companions. Along with exploring sights I'd never see back home, given how polluted and destroyed my world was.'
"You want an army of animals?"
'Yes, I want to make a family and I connect to animals more than people. So animal army.'
Okay, that was actually kind of adorable to have as a goal for someone like him. I actually could picture him riding in on Zendaya and summoning such a thing with a crazed smile. It's frankly just so silly yet adorable that that's one of his goals in life instead of something dark.
"Why are you willing to follow me around as a shadow when you clearly don't even like me?"
'You're young, stupid, impressionable, and have a hero complex. I want to at least fix a few of those before taking off to wherever I end up. Because you didn't even realize most of the people asking you for things are just using you, sometimes outright trying to get you killed. Also, because I like making you uncomfortable, it's a joyous activity.'
That's not…. Right…. Okay, yeah, I can see how some of those requests were strange and very dangerous. If he hadn't stepped in when I almost got my skull caved in by a monster's tentacle, I'd be dead. I really should ask more questions before accepting a job, and get a better read on people because he sadly has a point. Which for some reason makes my soul ache as if it's a bad thing to have pointed out. A strange fuzzy feeling was creeping into my mind. Until Xander punched me in the stomach, making me gag and topple over.
Looking up at him with my eyes watering, he said something which honestly terrified me.
'There's one of the drawbacks of being born and influenced by your title, hero. You'll try to actively forget that people will use and try killing you. Resetting back to a lost, aloof fool who will blindly trust and not seek to be wiser in thinking things through. I'd suggest finding a morally gray companion or pet when I leave, or you'll become a good little toy soldier marching onto your death blindly.'
That… that actually is terrifying to realize, I've never had any control of being anything but a hero. Something in my soul is making me be such a pure and blinded youngling to certain things. I don't want that… I don't want something dictating my actions and personality…
'You look pretty confused, I'll give you a hint as to why you're like this. Warrior of Light. That title Hydalen has granted you since birth, while helpful to you, is a double-edged sword. I'm perfectly fine because I am not from here and have already experienced the dark side of life in spades. So this is one reason why I'm trying to teach you to be a little darker, but not evil.'
"Have you ever felt this violated?"
'Yes. So learn, imprint, and become more grown up to get past this influencing effect. That's six questions and six answers. I'd say it's time for some lunch at four o'clock in the morning.'
Chuckling weakly, I got up off the ground and watched him walk towards his companions. Shun showed himself from Zendaya's mane with a cry as his tail wagged, knowing it's time for food. Rubbing my stomach, I can feel the bruise on it, but it's a welcomed thing currently. It's keeping my mind focused on these events and not letting me become essentially a blind fool.
Heading towards the four, I see Xander perk up as he checks on Valentine. Zendaya doing the same with her giant frame towering over the Chocobo and its box. What I see walking up is Xander carefully and very delicately reaching into the box nest. Grabbing something before pulling his arms back, holding a… live birthed Chocobo pair instead of eggs. He looked so excited and full of life seeing them., Zendaya, much to her credit, helped clean them. Their black and yellow fuzz sticking out as the chicks chirped tiredly.
He checked them over rather extensively before putting the chicks back with Valentine. A smile on his lips as his mask faintly shows it with the subtle outline of it. Sitting down next to Shun, I scratched the little guy's head, getting a purr. Food being served by Xander shortly afterward without a sound being made. It startles me how quiet he can move, that embarrassingly I've screamed a few times. I know he can't speak, but does he have to actively and passively not produce a sound?!